In this article you will learn
- -17 ways How I discovered the formula to live meaningful life – in spite of getting hit from all side AND don't hurt my loved ones[although I did hurt my most loved ones by my uncalled for outbursts]
- -The formula[it has to be customized as per your specific situation, background and unique factors off-course] - to create your own mechanism to come out of the tough-phase and your hell – AT LEAST mentally and emotionally healthy
- -Getting comfortable with 15 Things - It is Ok to happen in your life – because they usually happen to most of the human-being
- -36 Things to Remember AND ACCEPT -When Going Through Tough Times in Life
- -60 Tips on How to Get Through the Toughest-Phases and Hardest-Struggles of Your Life
Some of the hardest events that can impact our lives are – Meeting with serious accidents and sudden discovery of life-threatening diseases, death of a loved one with whom we were attached and dependent on very deeply, Breakups, Divorce, Losing Job and Savings.
These things happen to almost each one of us – but they usually happen one at a time.
But what happens - when – you are being hit from every angle – which has many of the above – at the same time.
Yet no matter what type of your unique set of challenges, difficulties, painful, hurting and traumatic situations you go through in your life – chances are you will have to face these alive.
We all have choices to either give-up completely and go into serious and many times irreversible and irrecoverable mental emotional states.
Or be prepared for many exigencies – if they have not happened YET - OR – if you are going through something similar learn to reach within and discover the inner strength to get through sanely.
It is impossible to identify all the shocking and shaking events of our life – BUT - the wisest thing to do is to be prepared to face the difficult times in our lives – to avoid all types of potentially damages to our lives.
Many of these situations would not be within our control – still to live a meaningful life we need to have our own tool-set to deal with these if and when we get stuck and struck.
Have you ever gone through your personal hell – well I am literally - since quite few years.
17 ways How I discovered the formula to live meaningful life – in spite of getting hit from all side AND don't hurt my loved ones[although I did hurt my most loved ones by my uncalled for outbursts]
- 1.I had hoped that next day, the next week, the next month, the next year, after my birthday the things will become better – did they – no – In fact the corona made it even more painfully provokingly obvious that it is not going to go away soon.
- 2.Lost all the earning-opportunities, lost all my life's savings, had relationship breakups, the people I considered my well-wishers started avoiding me or went into silence [not that I asked them for help even once], the people who were supporting me in my financial crisis also got their earnings impacted, lost peace of my mind and lost my abilities to stay positive.
- 3.In fact I started losing cool at the slightest or no provocations – I fought with my most loved ones – AND MANAGED TO CREATE STRESS FOR EVERYONE AROUND ME.
- 4.I took help of astrologers, the healers, the spiritual gurus as well as few renowned God-men AND off-course continuous PRAYING TO GOD
- 5.AND - all I came out with – NOTHING – nothing changed, things became worse.
- 6.In fact the future-predictors – predicted that it will become worse and will remain so for next 7 years. I said wow – that is some life I have gotten into.
- 7.Then I decided that – THIS SH*T HAS GONE LONGER THAN I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN.
- 8.I also realized in my earlier painful times – I did use the strategy – channelizing my negative energies into creating and building something meaningful TO ME AT LEAST – I created two portals for Pro-Bono counseling [ http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ ] and Business Mentoring [https://successunlimited-mantra.com/].
- 9.If it helps anyone meaningfully – WONDERFUL– OTHERWISE - I would have done something to occupy myself constructively to remain sane up-to a great extent.
- 10. In the current ongoing crisis - I have made myself busy with creating first My YouTube Channel [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoPk9nvqnaEEznogwPCAYig/videos?sort=dd&shelf_id=0&view=0 ] – to give people tips on Do It Yourself on topics each one of us face and might be facing in every aspect of life – in fact I have launched my second channel from September 1st 2020 [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClI8oSuyIr2Bnls_1X_hfTw?view_as=subscriber ].
- 11. As I can't afford spending any money [any more] - in promoting my channels – I have become a one man institution.
- 12. Right from getting the idea about the script, to recording the video on my mobile with a Chroma-green background, to editing myself, to uploading them on YouTube – to promoting [this promoting I know is my great weakness – as after 3 months even after telling all the people in my circle – I got only 4 additional subscribers.
- 13. So people ask me why you are doing this – when it is not earning you any money or adding any value.
- 14. My answer is – TO REMAIN SANE – even if no one watches it – IT IS ALRIGHT – same philosophy I write blogs – if someone reads it cool – if no one at least I have created something of value.
- 15. This formula to remain less stressed – IS DEFINITELY WORKING – for me.
- 16. From my struggles, failures and crises – how I could bounce back - these practical – simple to understand and implement tips are taken and given in this article.
- 17. The basic premise behind sharing all these is that - if you can develop these understandings – you would have created a most powerful tool to handle almost any disruptive catastrophes.
15 Things - It is Ok to happen in your life – because they usually happen to most of the human-being
- 1.It is perfectly alright to Not to Be OK – for short periods during and after intense stress inducing events
- 2.Have Failures in life
- 3.To make mistakes – especially in those times when you can't afford to make any
- 4.To feel hopeless time to time
- 5.To lose everything
- 6.To see your loved one suffer
- 7.To see people walk away from you
- 8.To get misunderstood
- 9.To feel angry, upset, sad
- 10. Feel like your life is going downhill in a free fall - with no way to stop or reduce its velocity, momentum and direction
- 11. When every action, every decision is wrong
- 12. Even the so called guaranteed things collapses
- 13. You can't think about any positives AND only negativities plague our brain and emotions
- 14. You are not able to feel grateful for anything
- 15. Your Life Will Change - Nothing in life is permanent
36 Things to Remember When Going Through Tough Times in Life
- 1.Facing difficulties is inevitable Understand that your Pain is part of your life and your love
- 2.Mindset is half the battle.
- 3.It is okay to have down days and tough times.
- 4.Expecting life to be wonderful all the time – is sure-fire recipe for big hurts and disappointments and upsets
- 5.Your biggest fears rarely become real – most of the time it is created and nurtured by our own imagination used in wrong way
- 6.You can never change any situation you don't take responsibility for
- 7.The present is all you really have to deal with
- 8.No one can validate you
- 9.Only you have to deal with Your Problems
- 10. If you are thinking - Why am I being punished - Let's get this straight - No one is punishing you – you are punishing yourself by holding on to toxic thoughts and feelings
- 11. You have faced bad times earlier and unless it is continuing still – all of them did end
- 12. You also had good times – they too ended
- 13. Our mind is capable of a very powerful phenomenon – that is to generalize, distort and delete to create distorted perception – in most cases we magnify negative events to a level that – as if they will never end PLUS we completely manage to erase all positive and to the extent that time will never turn.
- 14. You have had faced and Overcome many Challenges Before
- 15. If you have survived all yours earlier crises – it only proves that you Have Lots of Strengths
- 16. Corona has made it sharper to notice that – bad things Happens to many-many people – it is not happening with you alone
- 17. Besides being upsetting – it is also going to be a Learning Experience – should you take it like that
- 18. If you can't handle and face this situation on your own - You should Ask for Help – from either your most trusted people or qualified experts
- 19. Staying Positive advice – will only work when you can busy yourself with taking actions that may create future-forward ways for a newer paradigm in everything
- 20. Life is never the way we have been conditioned to believe – it is the way – it is right now with you.
- 21. In the most hopeless times – as the history shows – this is the best time to use and polish your Creative muscles
- 22. There are certainly circumstances and situations – when doing something or anything is beyond our area of control – we need to know if this time is that – then do nothing in this area
- 23. But there are many situations - when you can take actions to make the situation better.
- 24. None of the solutions be visible – it can be discovered through undergoing many trials and experimentations and failures and improvisations
- 25. Facing difficulties is inevitable – if you can learn from it to create changes in your mindset, habits, skills, knowledge and attitude – it would be the most remarkable thing to happen to you
- 26. You need to Change your emotional state from feeling sorry – to doing what you can with what you have AND RIGHT NOW
- 27. Focusing on What You Can influence, control and do - and not on what is beyond
- 28. Having said that – having a network of your well-wishers and honest people around you is one of the most important tool that you can have
- 29. Surround yourself with people who are loving, caring, honest, and available.
- 30. Self-care during tough times is most essential
- 31. Forgiving someone who got you into that mess – will create the power to fill yourself with positives in life
- 32. If you want to feel energetic about life again - you have create, try, test and validate – your own motivational and inspirational ritual or methods
- 33. We have get into the mindset of focusing on what you want – instead of Dwelling on what you don't want
- 34. Be nice to yourself – even if you are feeling sad, angry, disappointed, despondent about your future, extend compassion toward yourself and give those emotions the space they need
- 35. Having Faith in something can at times give you the power to bounce back
- 36. Trusting yourself that you will handle it – whatever it may be – and no matter what you will bounce back
60 Tips on How to Get Through the Toughest-Phases and Hardest-Struggles of Your Life
- 1.Build resilience through
- I.Accepting the situation
- II.Accept your feelings
- III.Work on finding solutions to your problems
- IV.Deal with your problems one step at a time. If a problem is too big to deal with all at once, try breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps.
- V.List as many solutions as possible - Accept reasonably implementable and rational solutions - Once you choose any solution - Don't get discouraged if the first solution you try doesn't work – improvise or try another one
- VI.Break big task into smaller tasks – set deadlines – create actionable steps
- VII.Celebrate small wins
- 2.Go through complete cycle of grief for your losses – to get these out of your system to enable you to bounce back
- 3.Don't become a recluse in tough times - Reach out to others - But avoid negative people at any cost - Expand your social network
- 4.Get enough exercise - Practice mind and body relaxation technique - such as yoga, tai chi and meditation blend deep breathing and body awareness to help you relieve stress and bring your nervous system back into balance
- 5.Acknowledge and feel your feelings - Avoiding your negative emotion may feel effective – but in reality avoiding only postpones it temporarily – in larger aspect it in fact escalates the emotional disturbances - The only way to free is to face and accept your emotions
- 6.Stop rationalizing and thinking about your feelings
- 7.Prioritize self-care.
- 8.Practice acceptance of all those things that you cannot control – instead surrender these to your higher power you have faith in - Ask for Guidance and Look for Meaning
- 9.Avoid or get out of the company of toxic people
- 10. Remember that everyone heals differently – find your own pace
- 11. Understand that Sometimes - not getting what you think you want can be a blessing in disguise.
- 12. Do something that makes you happy
- 13. Allow yourself some time to just have fun. Do something that makes you laugh, be playful and childlike, and spend time with people who know how to put a smile on your face.
- 14. Try to shut out the negativity of other people - Negativity is toxic and draining and distracting
- 15. Have hope and faith that your bouncing back is possible
- 16. Big painful situations and Truly great things generally take time to achieve or arrive – nothing is going to happen overnight or by quick-fixes
- 17. This is time to be fully yourself – feel comfortable with yourself Reflect to know and understand yourself better by asking yourself-What is the significance of this moment in my life, What can I do to get out of this, what I need to change within me and learn to handle this better
- 18. Share your story or situation with others, there is solace in numbers
- 19. If you failed or gave up- find out what went wrong and try again
- 20. Find inspiration through others who've overcome similar situations
- 21. Seek opportunities to contribute something to others
- 22. Improve your sleep
- 23. Eat well
- 24. Learn to Manage your stress levels
- 25. Pursue your hobbies and interests to Stay motivated
- 26. Challenge Your Thinking - Ask yourself how realistic your worry - Look at tough times as an opportunity to learn, grow or improve your situation. Maybe you've seen how supportive your friends are or learned how strong you can be in a tough time
- 27. Get Support - Sometimes some basic help can make a big difference - Don't be afraid to ask for advice – you may not know everything - Get emotional support also
- 28. If you feel like Crying –cry
- 29. Share your frustrations with trusted person
- 30. If you know healthy venting-techniques – do that to release tension, relieve stress
- 31. Stop Resisting all these changes of hard time – because it will never change the fact that you are suffering – you will still be sad, sick or jobless - our resistance only increases our pains and sufferings
- 32. By accepting – you get the wisdom to know and accept the things that are out of your control.
- 33. Support Others who are Going Through a Hard Time – in the following manner – through conversation as well as actions that can be observed by them
- I.Tell him/her that You have done enough for me and for all of us – BUT - right now is the time to take care of yourself
- II.Do something that person likes AND may appreciate your doing it
- III.Don't impose yourself on them – instead be there
- IV.Let them know that You are available and free – and that he/she is the most important person and your number one priority right now
- V.Give them space
- VI.Encourage them to open-up - share
- VII.Take over some responsibilities of this person
- VIII.Recall and share with this person of something very kind he or she did for you
- IX.Tell them and show them that you are proud of them
- X.Tell this person that – how you would like them to take it easy and be as comfortable as they can
- XI.Tell them I can't imagine what you are going through – BUT – I know that you have the required strengths to overcome it.
- XII.Tell them that they were there for you and let them know that it is your turn
- XIII.Tell them that your top priority is them -right now
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