Messed-up Your Life So What Create a Better One

Messed-up Your Life So What Create a Superior Life after Messing up

 I am a geniuswhen it comes to screwing-up my life – Again and again and then again AND that too in every aspect as well as in every respect Big-time.

You would think– that – after making mistakes after mistakes after mistakes I should be a Zen-master-wiser.

Yes, I do learn And I do recall my resolve of never to making that mistake again [in the post incident introspection period] – BUT – it lasts only till I mess up again.

If my life-pattern gels with you – then probably you will appreciate, understand and benefit from this article better than others.

In this blog you will get the light-bulb-sparks through - 21 advantages of messing up your life PLUS minimum 52 ways we can mess up our life and 45 tips on how to come out of the mess stronger and recreate the life that we want.

AND why it is okay to mess-up time to time - for having an emotionally, physically, professionally and relationship-wise - happy, healthy and fulfilling life.

The unparalleled 3 benefits of surviving the forced or self-created mess [irrespective of whether you are a messed-up kind OR perfectly un-messed folk]

  • 1.Become comfortable with taking risk*
  • 2.Venturing into the unknown and uncertain* with more ease
  • 3.Approaching fearful situations – which must be faced - with lot lessor degree of unnerving feelings


21 Advantages of messing up your life

I have now become almost at peace with the following- because of having come-out through sh*t-scared, terrified and mummified situations, events, incidences - many times [it would be your value-addition too].

  • 1.That it is okay to end few relationships
  • 2.It is perfect to not to know everything
  • 3.It is alright to be proven wrong many-many times
  • 4.That I may not get Some answers ever
  • 5.I don't have to prove anything to anyone
  • 6.That in spite of major failures and setbacks and hardships – the life will go on – therefore living it the best way IS THE ONLY CHOICE I CAN MAKE
  • 7.That even if I have fallen in the pits – still I can get up
  • 8.That I can restart my life – from ZERO – anytime and every time [I have done this few times – total beginning from scratches]
  • 9.As long as I have added value to others [and have not hurt people deliberately] it is life worth lived => irrespective of where I end up in life financially, professionally
  • 10.Sometimes it is very-right taking action without knowing all the answers, facts and figures
  • 11.That The life will create lots of misunderstanding anyway [ without my initiatives] – therefore sort outing those I can – and leaving those I can't as they are
  • 12.That I will have many-many embarrassing moments, awkwardness, discomfort, disappointment, doubt*, guilt*, shame and disagreement – Moving on is the only way to NOT to GIVE these Emotions* Undue Powers* [read my various blogs on how to deal with them – all *marked ones have Separate Do-It-Yourself Blog in Success Unlimited Mantra's Blog Section from the Heart of Subhashis]
  • 13.That Our biggest relationship* problems* come from our irresistible urge of fixing others – which always create many wounds, hurts* and regrets*
  • 14.Some hurts cannot be healed – unless we go through some significant emotional/perception transforming events
  • 15.In many cases - we just cannot make everything right again, no matter how hard we try
  • 16.The biggest lesson I have learned that – our reality is often muddied so much so that – we see the world through tinted glasses and MAKE MAJOR MISTAKES*
  • 17.At the cost of few years of toil and financial mess – I learned that most of the failures that we face [anywhere in life] – can be avoided in future ONLY when we start working on ourselves
  • 18.Learning-unlearning-relearning* - doesn't have any substitute and is as essential as breathing
  • 19.Some of the issues/situation/events/incidents may only make sense in hindsight OR bring the clarity – so many times after we have given our 100% * and done our best – the only thing to do is Trust in time
  • 20. Accomplishing whatever is worth your while – can only happen through a series of challenging* times, setbacks*, failures*, Big-groups, coming across a wall and being in thoroughly uncomfortable zones*
  • 21.But if you can persist* and improvise* and find newer approaches in solving problems* - then you would get to the pinnacle like many others did before you. You need to polish, trust, and use your sixth-sense/gut-feeling/intuition to go to higher realm

52 ways - How we mess-up our life [you can add more]

  • 1.You feel bored* and empty and lost and alone because you never really do anything different – no challenges, no stretching ONLY Routine that too mundane one
  • 2.You use external things to make you feel good – like make-up, dresses, posting endless selfies, changing jobs and having multiple relationships etc. – but nothing changes as internally the drivers are same and the correct drivers are not being exercised
  • 3.You have gotten used to living in your safe-bubble
  • 4.You don't look forward to changes* - in fact you resist changes as long as you can
  • 5.You have become a loner and don't have social*-professional*-support network* alone.
  • 6.You Blame Everyone Else for Your Problems
  • 7.You berate yourself Constantly
  • 8.You are in a Job – that does not satisfy many of your motivational drivers [ this one is – sure-shot recipe for messing yours as well as all the people who are closest to you]
  • 9.Not paying attention and Listening to Your Intuition
  • 10.Never taking risks
  • 11.Allowing limiting beliefs* about yourself* on what you can and what you can't - to win
  • 12.You don't make decisions* - many times because you are afraid of the outcome might not be the one you want
  • 13.Lost believing yourself
  • 14.You equate change with problem
  • 15.Some of you Take multiple-projects which makes you Overwhelmed big-way [you do this Just to prove to others OR to show-off]
  • 16.Not having clear and healthy boundaries*
  • 17.No able to say no* to others
  • 18.Your make your needs as the last Priority* - other's gets preferences
  • 19.Your focus* is not clear as to your big picture
  • 20. Maintaining Unhealthy lifestyles
  • 21.Don't know when to Quit* and Give-up* and When to keep going
  • 22. Giving-up every-time Things become Difficult
  • 23. Thinking and having a victim mindset* – wallowing in how sorry your life is
  • 24. Doing things to impress others – seeking their attention and approval
  • 25. Not living your values*
  • 26. Not going for your passions*
  • 27.YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
  • 28. Wanting too much too soon without building the right foundations and basics*
  • 29. Don't focus on becoming financially independent
  • 30. Focusing* more on the short-term* gratifications* rather on long-term sustainable* results*
  • 31.Go too far into extremes and being primarily concerned with enjoyment OR work so hard and so long that other parts of life becomes screwed
  • 32. Underestimating and sometimes over-estimated your abilities and capabilities
  • 33. Underselling yourself
  • 34. Staying in the Wrong Partnership, relationship, friendship
  • 35. Dream Without Taking Action
  • 36. Absolutely no Introspection
  • 37.Gossip and passing time
  • 38. Let the temporary values take your focus* - like wanting desperately to Be Famous, to be rich, to be popular etc. through all the means
  • 39. Being passively-Lazy*
  • 40. Procrastinate* on important actions
  • 41.Spend More Than You Can Afford
  • 42. Get unnerved by Criticism*
  • 43. Promise More Than You Can Do AND Don't Keep Your Promises
  • 44. Say Only Yes AND Say Only No
  • 45. Be A Control Freak - Micromanage
  • 46. Be Cheap and shallow – not classy*
  • 47.Try To Please Everybody
  • 48. Be A Perfectionist
  • 49. Complain* only
  • 50. React Instead Of Act On Things
  • 51.Feel ok being Average – no desire to excel
  • 52. Talk More than listen*


45 Tips on Un-messing our life - How to ensure we Don't mess-up our Future - How to Keep Trying – even though your life is falling apart

  • 1.If you are unhappy being in a mess – first Slap yourself in the face - real Hard – if you hesitate to slap yourself hard – then the situation that you are facing is definitely less painful than the pain of self-slap
  • 2.Stop comparing your situation and suffering with others – nothing is similar
  • 3.Identify the feeling – Anger*, Frustrations*, Grief*, Shame*, Guilt* Jealousy*, Despair*
  • 4.Stop worrying about how you would look to others - let yourself feel bad and feel the feelings deeply
  • 5.Go ahead and cry* if you need to – it is liberating* and healthy*
  • 6.You can get in touch with me for a free hug within logistical possibilities* it is guaranteed – AND to be a listening ear
  • 7.Even through the situations could have happened not because of you but due to areas beyond your control - Identify what you could have done better, what you could have done differently, what would you that is new – in case similar thing happens
  • 8.If you have a trustworthy person – share your inner-turmoil with him/her
  • 9.If no one is there – just resolve that you will take actions to bounce-back*
  • 10.Do something for people who are not as privileged as you are – it is DO – meaning your giving money is not the substitute although it may help too
  • 11.Practice to accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally*
  • 12.Practice be alone time to time – make your this MeTime your recharging* moment* Become your own best friend.
  • 13.Sometimes the same thing in life will both be good as well as bad at the same time. What changes is our perspective [Imagine you suddenly finding a fortune (read cash) buried in your yard – but it was the currency before demonetization].
  • 14.Identify all the things you are grateful* for – if you are unable to then you have to put more efforts to identify at least couple of things
  • 15.If you can't - Understand that life can suck and may not be fair to you right now
  • 16.Stop generalizing and distorting your situation just to feel miserable*
  • 17.Develop patience* by taking challenging habits* changes – that you know you must
  • 18.Get out of the house and go be social – in the company of people who are generally enthusiastic, energetic, motivated and supportive
  • 19.We all face unexpected challenges - just Changing our mindset* won't ensure that everything will be okay
  • 20. Notice and acknowledge your negative thinking pattern and how it keeps you stuck
  • 21.Our ability to change can happen in an instant – when we decide* and choose* and become sick and tired *of being sick and tired
  • 22. Never try to many things at the same time otherwise you will both fail as well as make yourself overwhelmed
  • 23. Make a big picture – identifying what type of life you would like to live – identify as many elements as you can
  • 24. Break them into tiny milestones and small action-steps*
  • 25. Pick one thing and do it for a week or ten days, then maybe add another and so on - Figure out what you're good at and start doing it
  • 26. Never Ignore the Mistake* - acknowledge, find ways to mend/make-up, correct the mistake
  • 27.Don't Bury Your Feelings and neither live in regret*
  • 28. If you have hurt someone - Give A Proper Apology – by following this process => Express Regret, Explain What Happened, Acknowledge the Part You Played, State Your Remorse and Repent, Offer To Make It Better, Ask For Forgiveness, do a symbolic-atonement
  • 29. Create New priorities based on your current state
  • 30. Identify Things To Remember The Next Time You 'Mess – as You didn't know then, but you know now
  • 31.Understand that it could have been worse BUT This will pass too as everything passes – eventually
  • 32. Even if you failed miserably – It is ok to not always be on top
  • 33. Accept that If you fail to keep your cool about the small things, then you're going to be in real trouble when you're faced with the real, big life problems
  • 34. Learn to laugh* at yourself – and creating humor*
  • 35. Nobody wants to talk about depression – but if you are feeling low - accept the fact that you're depressed* - And never try not to minimize it as Being able to accept the fact that you're depressed is a huge step.
  • 36. Now We just need the right strategies* to deal with it
  • 37.Celebrate the small wins
  • 38. Write - The insights you learn from your own sufferings and pains can be invaluable in helping you and others
  • 39. Your problems may never get smaller - but your capacity to deal with them will become stronger
  • 40. Be Open To Change and don't sit still being Afraid To Make Mistakes
  • 41.Understand All Problems Have Solutions – multiple ones, we only have to brainstorm to find them
  • 42. Find People who could be you Sources of Help
  • 43. Find a coach or mentor
  • 44. Be an action person – just don't sit and overthink*
  • 45. Take actions however small – those – which takes you forward and towards your goals everyday
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