How to stand your ground to strengthen character

In this article you will learn the following

-17 Question to find if you need to work on how to stand your ground

-40+ Tips to start practicing - how to stand your ground and strengthen your personality & character

- Understand and accept these 12 basics of life

- Understand 9 situations when you should stand your ground

-12 things to understand about handling fights and arguments

- Practice saying NO using this simple 11 point formula - when someone puts a demand which - you are not comfortable with or have reservations about

Þ It is my honor to find Success Unlimited Mantra has been included in the FeedSpot's Top 120 blog - in the world - https://blog.feedspot.com/personal_development_blogs/

Þ It is also very gratifying that Erik Bergman [the entrepreneur who made $50 million before turning 30] - has offered to write for Success Unlimited Mantra - in the our new Celebrity Guest Column

How to stand your ground to strengthen character

Our character gets revealed - in times of our greatest-perils, scariest-threats and most upsetting-crises.

Although our character can be tested only in our most-challenging times & big-disruptive phases - but it gets formed, shaped and developed in our everyday life - through many small-small incidences, our actions and its consequences and how we face these.

Most of our major life-choices have the imprint of our character - especially those ones which determines and creates the type and quality of life - you happen to be living.

Situations when you must take a tough-call and make a difficult-decision - whether you choose to go for the easy options or the right-option - is decided by our character or personality.

If you want to see how strong your character is - ask yourself - do you avoid confrontations just to escape facing difficult situation and discomfort and do you tend to be driven and directed your everyday fears.

Or do you face the tough-situations and difficult-people by standing your ground and make the choices based on your core-values.

Some of us don't fight-back -even when we must.

Your character is a collection of your inherent attributes - which are mostly subconsciously woven into your core and they become exposed - when we face treacherous, scary and uncertain situations or people.

You may know people - who stand-up for the rights of others as well as society - irrespective of the consequences - which they are very well aware-of and then they go on to face them with courage and patience.

People with deep rooted emotional-insecurities [who invariably have low self-esteem, low self-acceptance and weak personal boundaries] - find it most difficult to assert themselves in numerous situations and with many people.

We are not born with the qualities that make up our character - Our character develops as we go through our life and enjoy different experiences while facing ups and downs of life.

If we choose to - all of us have the power within ourselves - to strengthen our character.

You can also standup for creating your relationship an equal partnership - using the same techniques.

17 Question to find if you need to work on how to stand your ground - ask yourself

• 1.Are you too accommodating - do you put your needs in the backyard trying to satisfy and please others even at the cost of not giving to your loved ones that you can and you are supposed to
• 2.Do you feel uncomfortable saying no - do you give in to others demands and pressures easily
• 3.Do you have a hard time saying no - you accept what others say even though your whole being is protesting against
• 4.Do people have little or no regard for your wishes - do others treat you like a doormat
• 5.Do you feel very awkward and uncomfortable with professional and social interactions - because you feel you would have to give in and feel miserable later
• 6.Do people just take you for granted and assume that you would always be there
• 7.Do you find yourself justifying other's bad behaviors - often
• 8.Do you frequently blame yourself when anything goes wrong
• 9.Once you have taken a decision with great difficulty - do you get overwhelmed with doubt your decisions
• 10. Do you feel ashamed and embarrassed often
• 11. You get rattled with the thought of rejection
• 12. You would rather be considered submissive than aggressive
• 13. You plan to get-even with people who have taken advantage of you and use passive aggressive ways to hit-back
• 14. In most situations and relationships it is you who makes compromises
• 15. You feel unfulfilled, dissatisfied, angry and frustrated - most of the days
• 16. Many times you find it extremely difficult to identify what has upset

40+ Tips to start practicing - how to stand your ground and strengthen your personality & character - randomly given

Þ Almost all the individual tips given below in this blog[as well as in my all other blogs] have separate AND DETAILED ARTICLES in the blog section of both https://successunlimited-mantra.com/ & http://relationshipandhappiness.com/ - collectively around 600 - do-it-yourself articles on personality-personal-professional-relationship - improvement and development.

• 1.Understand and accept these 12 basics of life
• I.It is ok to fail
• II.It is ok to say I don't know
• III.It is ok to ask questions - when you don't understand
• IV.It is ok to make mistakes
• V.It ok to not to have any opinion on something
• VI.It is ok to walk away from people and things that makes you feel bad about yourself
• VII.But it is not ok to pretend you know - when you don't
• VIII.It is also not ok to live a life trying to be someone
• IX.It is also not ok to disregard your needs for pleasing others
• X.It is ok to live your life the way you want
• XI.It is ok for all the people not like you
• XII.It is ok for few people to walk away from you - because you won't be a doormat anymore
• 2.Identify, Understand and Define your core values
• I.Think about makes you most upset with yourself
• II.What makes you feel ashamed, angry or upset when you fail or make mistake
• III.What are those things that makes you feel embarrassed - of what you said, did or thought
• IV.Recall your past - those situation - when you did not follow your core-values and which made you miserable for days or months
• V.Understand that in most cases it could be because of your own violation of your core-values - like you were not sincere with yourself or took a path which was not honest or took shortcut - which made you compromise with what you believe in
• VI.Identify what makes you proud of yourself and immensely fulfilled - even if no one noticed this act of yours
• VII.Identify and put a name for these values
• VIII.Catalogue these values
• IX.Start using these values every day - make them part of your routine to– say - if your one of the core-values in integrity - follow that - even if the situation seems unimportant or you get temporarily undesirable outcomes
• 3.Remember and list all those times - when you didn't stand your ground
• 4.Ask yourself what you could have done differently
• 5.Instead of feeling guilty understand that you have the power to do the right thing now
• 6.Candidly evaluate the type of people you associate with – do they have the kind of character you want to see in yourself - or they have traits that makes you wince time to time
• 7.Choose what type of people you would have in your life - ensure that you spend more time with people you admire
• 8.Put your beliefs into action - even small actions taken consistently in different aspect of life make a big difference
• 9.Create goals and actions that strengthen your character - like volunteer for social-causes
• 10. Know when to stop being nice – many of us behave with politeness just to be likable
• 11. Know that there exists a big difference between being nice and not standing up for what is right and speaking up - just because you are afraid of the consequences
• 12. Listen to your instincts in these situations - sometimes it is best to rock the boat to defend yourself or anybody and not be so concerned about being nice
• 13. Gather the maximum facts understand your logic and righteousness of your belief– know why you need to stand your ground
• 14. Be assertive - consider the rights, needs and wants of others but also ensure that you don't compromise with yours either
• 15. Be polite and thoughtful - respect people and communicate unemotionally
• 16. Focus on the point alone
• 17. But always be aware about the distinction standing up for what you know is right, and being stubborn, arrogant or uncooperative
• 18. Letting things go
• 19. Understand that there will be times when you will have to admit defeat, back down, and make the best of the situation
• 20. Accept that getting your way all the time is possible only if you are the most powerful dictator in the situation
• 21. Understand 9 situations when you should stand your ground
• I.When anyone is encroaching on your basic rights
• II.When anyone is abusing you
• III.When anyone is being disrespectful to you
• IV.When anyone is putting you down
• V.When anyone is trying to control you
• VI.When you fear imminent harm to yourself and your loved ones or someone who can't defend himself or herself
• VII.In your self-defense - while facing assault or violence
• VIII.You must have the right to be where you are- and you are being unlawfully forced out of it
• IX.But understand that - you cannot be in violation of the law you must not be engaging in unlawful activity
• 22. Set healthy personal boundaries to stand your ground - even if people don't like it
• 23. Learn to be assertive [ not aggressive, mean, arrogant or dominant] - but be polite, direct, clear and non-attacking to stand up for your rights, feelings, beliefs and needs while also respecting those of the other person.
• 24. Practice saying NO using this simple 11 point formula - when someone puts a demand which - you are not comfortable with or have reservations about
• I.Consider the request- ask for more details to understand
• II.State your position using tact - expressing your position without being, apologetic - use I statements - I would want to help you but as I already have an engagement fixed previously - I can't do that now - but asap I will come back
• III.I need to think about this one - I will be in touch later
• IV.Effective assertion statements should be quite short and as succinct as possible
• V.If you have problem with someone's behavior - take one specific behavior-issue - be as factual and as objective as possible -state the facts and state your issue/grievance/problem without making judgements and interpreting their behavior
• VI.Start the sentence with "I feel…" [without blame, intimidation or demands] to let the other person know
• VII.Share the brief description of the effect that person's behavior had on you - by describing observable outcomes and impacts
• VIII.Avoid generalizations or accusations
• IX.Then explain what you want changed - it has to be something that person can do
• X.Make a request, ask only for different behavior but not a change in attitude or values.
• XI.Use these for reference and create your own sentences as per the situation - I want you to treat me with respect is too general and not descriptive enough - Your statement has to be specific and describe something which is actionable - like - before you send that email - please show it to me and explain your logic
• 25. Think before you speak -stop taking things personally - learn to recognize and ignore the provocations and bait
• 26. Learn the meditation which is right for you
• 27. 12 things to understand about handling fights and arguments
• I.Understand that if you are getting to the point of fight or flight-you have probably already lost the battle - so retreat and re-plan your future move with deliberate care
• II.Choose your fights and confrontations - understand and learn identify and weigh the pros and cons of any confrontations that you are contemplating
• III.Understand that the rules of how and whom you face - will be dictated by - who is the person on the other side of table from you - is it a stranger, your client, your spouse or child or any major authority figure
• IV.Also understand that - there are no face-offs with do or die - often the best direction to go in a verbal confrontation is flanging - going sideways
• V.Learn the techniques of de-escalation - that works on the concept of - neutralizing and removing the perceived payoff of making you their opponent
• VI.Physical fights - looks good in the movies - so avoid violence - unless you don't mind facing police and legal cases for long time
• VII.Learn martial-arts - the benefits of martial arts training are not limited to capability in physical combat. Most of the black belts i have met exhibit confidence in all aspects of life, including verbal confrontation.
• VIII.You should be very clear - who are you fighting with and about what -if it's someone you don't have to deal with, just go away from them - winning and losing is not the only game in town.
• IX.When you don't understand the situation and why(s) of the actions you are dying to take - ignore - especially if it is situation in which you can't win. Like yelling at a cop - just chill
• X.Keep yourself cool by being aware of the person's insecurities/flaws that cause them to strike out.
• XI.Learn and develop the ability to ignore the person pressing you.
• XII.If you simply do not respond - many people looking for fight will lose their gas
• 28. Understand and accept that disagreements are unavoidable; you won't always see eye-to-eye with others.
• 29. Don't be a pushover - but there is no need to burn bridges either.
• 30. Stop using you statements as these put people on the defensive and can trigger attack mode - like - you are wrong, you always do this
• 31. Use I statements whenever you have to express something that has upset you
• 32. Try being genuinely authentically yourself
• 33. If someone tries to provoke or attack you [verbally] - to draw you into arguments- learn to ask open-ended questions - which will make them answer and get distracted - of-course these questions have to be related to the topic
• 34. Instead of reacting impulsively clarify first - by asking a question, without attacking.

#howtostandyourground, #situationswhenyoumuststandup, #basicsaboutdealingwithfightsandarguments, #howtostrengthenyourcharacter, #creatingstrongpersonality, #formulahowtosayNO, #whyshouldyoustandyourground, #livingpowerfully