How to be in demand and sought-after in your job, business, profession, relationship, society.
Have you ever wondered WHY some people for the same position get enviable high remuneration packages than their peers [who may have similar qualifications and experience].
OR some products, brands, organizations command premium prices, awareness and demand.
In cases of relationships too - you may notice some very ordinary looking person having very-very attractive partners.
All These happens due to the value they bring to the stakeholders OR because of the perception of giving more value [off-course to create this perception – very hard strategic planning and actions are needed backed with solid performance].
Your SUCCESS pivots ON YOUR ABILITY TO DELIVER VALUE TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This is true for everything – from getting a job to getting promotion to getting a global recognition to getting an ideal life partner.
You can't create wealth unless you master some skills that makes you unique – and which others need badly-enough to pay you for it.
You have to acquire these capabilities and create the impression of being valuable to your target-audience – much before others realize that they need them.
Your Value is always Judged in real time.
But - while you are being evaluated, you don't get any say in that interpretation.
Yet, the outcome could change the rest of your life – depending on where, who and for what you are being appraised.
That is why before you are being assessed – your value should be established in measurable terms.
We can't feel blissed and blessed without becoming valuable to others – which only can happen through building value for ourselves.
The real opportunity to thrive and create a niche for yourself lies between being invaluable and being of no use.
And in between those two extremes lies a world of opportunity. A chance for you to carve out a unique space where you thrive.
Yet, Most of the people spend their life – doing everything – just so that OTHERS Value Them, Respect them, appreciate them, accept them etc etc.
This article is about – how to Shift from wanting to be valued to being valuable.
When we are focused on creating value for others – we are on a sustainable winning path ON THE OTHER HAND – wanting to be valued is always full of pain, rejections, frustrations, heart-burn and so on.
Being able to add unparalleled value to others makes you invaluable – which is brilliant – as the outcome/consequences/end-results - of these would be grudging admiration, respect and recognition automatically.
The trick is to be RESPECTABLE* and Valuable - not likable.
This is actually basic common-sense*-The Individuals whose lives are driven by the need to be valued by others create their lives filled with - emotional instability, constant worry about what others think about them, lack of control over their emotions, dependency on others to feel happy, and a tendency to personalize other people's gestures as being that of disapproval, suspicion etc
When we are into the vicious cycle of "only when others value me – I can feel valuable and worthwhile" – it is a suicidal thinking process – that almost always leads to giving huge power to circumstances and people – in turn making you lose complete control of your life.
Additional pitfall is that - You become overly critical of others, start blaming others for their own feelings and circumstances and to start controlling people, engage in mind reading other's, creating meaning which probably is not their to the actions of others and jump to assumptions about what other people might be having about them.
Frankly no-one gives a damn about you – as they are busy in their own world full of challenges - to be bothered about you or thinking about you.
Having a mindset of "What would other think of me or say" – is like investing in those market stocks [which don't have any chance of recovering ever especially when the stock-market is crashing during recession]– and feeling miserable.
This negative spiral - can be altered by asking the question – how can I add maximum positive value and how do I make impactful positive difference to others, e.g. to my family, to my work, to my organization, to my community, to my country, to humanity [but it can't happen instantly as it would take lots of time, consistency* and practice].
Everyone wants to feel cared about. We want to feel that we matter We want the people close to us to acknowledge our needs and feelings, we want our employer to recognize our efforts and the value we add through our work- It's part of our nature as social beings.
The Value of Being Valued – these are few what would happen – when You Have Become a Person of Value
- 1.People look for you seeking your expertise
- 2.People appreciate your presence
- 3.Others give you their full attention
- 4.People seek your advice
- 5.People talk about you in a positive way mentioning the problems you solved or helped them solve
- 6.People recommend you
- 7.People want to partner with you
- 8.People are willing to pay much higher for your capabilities
Things That does not define Your Self-Worth
- 1.Your Job
- 2.Your Social Media Following
- 3.Your Age
- 4.Your Appearance
- 5.Comparison* with Other People
- 6.Your Grades
- 7.The Number of acquaintances you have
- 8.Your Relationship Status
- 9.The Money
- 10.The social status
- 11.The position
- 12.Your Likes
- 13.Your weaknesses
- 14.Your past mistakes
- 15.Your failures
How to be valuable and build value for yourself
There is no easy, automatic formula to being valuable - But to start there is a question that has to be asked on consistent basis - What am I have Do, Change, Learn, Be => to make myself so valuable others have no choice but to help me accomplish massive success.
96+ Simple do it yourself tips – throughout this article – all *marked ones have my DIY blogs on that topic in Success Unlimited Mantra Blog Section – From the Heart of Subhashis
- 1.Understand and accept that - Our worth and value is not variable, or dependent on other people's opinions, approval
- 2.Understanding that our value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see our worth
- 3.Understanding that it is within our control to set our value as high as we want – because We need to recognize that our potential is nearly unlimited - This may not mean that we all can be the Einstein the Ball Gates - but that with focus, determination and constructive actions - we all can expand in almost any possible way we choose
- 4.We have to consciously and sub-consciously shift our attention and energy to - how can I be valuable to others and the circumstances around me – FROM - the hopeless hollow of how can I be admired by others
- 5.We need to practice thinking and being Humble accountable and vulnerable*
- 6.We need to accept ourselves fully with our weaknesses and strengths
- 7.We should be free from all inhibitions* in asking for help from others
- 8.We need to learn how to Be calm*
- 9.Practicing to be a true professional *
- 10.Developing a Classy* Personality and learning to being graceful
- 11.Developing the sense of humor* [even when things are falling apart – by accepting the passage of tough time – and being able to laugh at ourselves]
- 12.Practicing Compassion and kindness
- 13.Developing the Ability to follow through – till we accomplish our goals
- 14.Being yourself* all the time
- 15.Expressing yourself
- 16.Being focused on delivering Excellence*
- 17.Avoiding Water Cooler politics, gossip, back-biting Conversations
- 18.Always focusing on Solving the Problem* and creating multiple solutions and strategies
- 19.Show off Your Work Without Being Obnoxious
- 20. Develop a mindset for Developing Others
- 21.Saying thank you sincerely
- 22. Smiling often
- 23. Listening* to others without distraction
- 24. Volunteering to help the community
- 25. Starting a project [the grand one that you have been thinking for long]
- 26. Taking online as well as other courses
- 27.Social and Professional Networking*
- 28. Be busy meaningfully on your own passions* - Don't be always readily available
- 29. Giving up on the unhealthy lifestyle – by Taking care of your body – through Healthy Diet, Physical Activities and exercises
- 30. Focusing on Major Issues and Giving up the short-term mindset and playing small
- 31.Taking full responsibility* and being accountable* - Stopping to give excuses and blame others and circumstances
- 32. Being flexible* - Give up the fixed mindset
- 33. Stopping to believe in the Overnight success
- 34. Giving up the need to control everything and everyone
- 35. Detaching from the things you cannot control, and focus on the ones you can
- 36. Giving up on saying YES to things that don't support your goals
- 37.Getting the toxic* people out of your life
- 38. Giving up your need to be liked
- 39. Give up your dependency on social media and television
- 40. Crafting your value message
- 41.Establishing your credibility by being consistence*
- 42. Demonstrating your ability as thought leader -suggesting unconventional possibilities
- 43. Creating your own critical mass of support by Complete the triathlon – of Creating demand, Creating Support and then Servicing demand
- 44.Increase Your Self-Understanding by asking
- I.Who I am
- II.What key life moments define who I am today
- III.What brings me the most passion, fulfillment, and joy
- IV.Where do I struggle most
- V.Where do I need to improve
- VI.What fears* often hold me back
- VII.What emotions* hurt me most
- VIII.What abilities do I have
- IX.What am I really good at
- 45. Remind yourself that - You don't need to please other people
- 46. No matter what people do or say, and regardless of what happens outside of you, you alone control how you feel about yourself
- 47.Your value comes from inside, from an internal measure that you've set for yourself
- 48.Boost Your Self-Esteem by Telling yourself regularly
- I.I believe in myself
- II.I am just as valuable as other people
- III.I would rather be me than someone else
- IV.I am proud of my accomplishments
- V.I am good at solving problems
- VI.I love trying new things
- VII.I respect myself
- VIII.I like the way I look
- IX.I love myself even when others reject me
- X.I am not afraid to make mistakes
- XI.I am happy to be me
- 49. Learning to handle difficult people*
- 50. Learning how to take criticism*
- 51.Learning to say No*
- 52.Learning to be Assertive*
- 53. Multiplying Your Value with List-Building Skills - If you can help your clients build a list of responsive, eager-to-buy leads, you will multiply your value and find yourself in demand as both writer and consultant
- 54. Understand your value – learn how by showing rather than telling
- 55.Deliver on your value consistently and get testimonials
- 56. Increase your value through education, skill-upgradation and taking newer projects
- 57.Focus on your own growth.
- 58. Offer More Value to others than they expect
- 59. Sharpen Your Skills - Work Harder on Yourself
- 60. Value your Time – manage your energy*
- 61.Learning how to be lazy* productively
- 62. Make it your problem and solve problems* of others
- 63. Develop your soft-skills*
- 64. Develop the 36 types of intelligence*
- 65. Learn to change* pro-actively
- 66. To Increase Your Value, Think Of Yourself As A 'Product,' And 'Upgrade' Yourself Every Year
- 67.Determine how you can 'upgrade' yourself. Improvement doesn't have to be expensive. Chose to master from the following or create your own list
- I.Selling Skills*
- II.Negotiation Skills*
- III.Coaching and Mentoring Techniques*
- IV.Entrepreneurial Skills*
- V.Social Quotient*
- VI.Emotional Quotient*
- VII.Communication* Techniques
- VIII.Presentation* Skills
- X.Strategic Planning*
- XI.Change Management*
- 68. Never stop learning or growing
- 69. Offer More Value to the Marketplace - Understand that You Don't Get More Valuable With Time - Age or years on the job doesn't equal value.
- 70. Bring Your Skills to the Marketplace, Not Your Needs because your expert Skills are valuable, needs are not.
- 71.Become Better at Everything You Do
- 72.Research your Dream Jobs - Prepare For Your Next Job Where is the Future
- 73.Three Keys to Lifelong Employment - change the work that you are offering to do, change the place where you are offering to work, or change the amount that you are asking for your services
- 74.Find a Mentor*
- 75.Define your niche
- 76.Gain third-party credibility
- 77.Don't be afraid to put yourself out there - Where you need to be
- 78. Engage with Those Who Most Recently Engaged with You -Get to Know Your New Followers.
- 79.Fix Hassles in doing business with you
- 80.Find the Trigger- Build a Steep Trajectory of Improvement
- 81.Become Your Own Master Publicist - 8. Share Your Stories
- 82. Connect With Experts
- 83. Give Without Expecting to Get
- 84. Learn the game-changing * - Digital Marketing Skills
- I.SEO specialist
- II.PPC executive/specialist
- III.Social media expert
- IV.Email marketing
- V.Mobile marketing
- VI.Content management/marketing
- VII.UX design
- IX.Structural Query Language (SQL)
- X.MACHINE LEARNING
- XI.DATA VISUALIZATION
- XII.DATA ENGINEERING
- XIII.NETWORK AND INFORMATION SECURITY (CYBERSECURITY)
- XIV.CLOUD COMPUTING/AWS
- XVI.Bottom of Form
- XVIII.DATA SCIENCE & ANALYTICS
- XIX.ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
- XX.EXTENDED REALITY (VR AND AR)
- XXI.QUANTUM COMPUTING
- XXIII.Basic WordPress proficiency
- XXIV.Project management
- XXV.Marketing campaign management
- XXVI.Web analytics
- XXVII.Video editing
- XXVIII.Basic coding skills Give the People What They Want