Why we are our own worst enemy

self Self Sabotaging Habits The Enemy Within

81+ Self-Sabotaging Habits and Thought Patterns and 50+ Tips on how not to be your own worst enemy.

Understand and accept that No one can be more effective at screwing-up your life better than yourself.

Agreed that You might be going through most harrowing times – but, MANY TIMES, the way we perceive, think and deal with what has already happenedactually proves to be more destructive than the original crisis.

Most of us judge and appraise ourselves in ways that are extremely self-harming, self-detrimental and self-sabotaging.

We may have very sound reasons to blame the circumstances or people around for our challenges, shortcomings and obstacles.

All of us face disappointments, frustrations, major-crisis, set-backs, failures, heartbreak, illness.

And only us - We play a pivotal role in how we bounce back and create our future - of all that we ever want to Be, Do and have.

One of our Biggest Competitor and enemy is Our own Incompetence.

It is not our external enemies that defeat us[in fact they could be the reason for our growth] – but it is those within us

If we can understand that We are the only sole decision-maker - to shape our present and our future [irrespective of how catastrophic incidents have taken place in our life] – then we may come out of tough times better.

There are people around us - who overcame excruciating and devastating times and did something – which makes them our role-models and inspirations.

All of these people – accomplished – what makes us in awe of them – by DEFEATING AND COMING THEIR INNER DEMONS AND ENEMIES WITHIN.

Our worst enemy is right within us.

Whether we realize it or not – we have a very strong internal dialogue going on – constantly within ourselves.

Sometimes these are positive and at other instances highly destructive self-talk – which intensely and powerfully influence our actions and the quality of our lives.

Many of these Self-critical and self-limiting and self-berating thoughts increase our nervousness or make us feel let down and depressed and also zap our energies and enthusiasms.

Then we become our own worst enemies – and – give so much power to these inner-voices, habits, perceptions and assumptions THAT they make the situation from worse to worst.

Let us first identify what behaviors and thought patterns are making our existence miserable and quality of life hell.

Throughout this article and in all my blogs the *marked ones means there is a separate Do It Yourself Article/Blog of mine is there in the Blog Section From the Heart of Subhashis in Success Unlimited Mantra website.

81+ Self-Sabotaging Habits and Thought Patterns - The Real Enemy within

  • 1.Not recognizing our insecurities, fears, guilts and concern [and dealing with these effectively]– and – letting these play havoc with our lives as well as with the lives of our loved ones
  • 2.Letting our Envy, Jealousy Resentment drive our behaviors, actions and thoughts
  • 3.Getting into selfie posting modes or being too active in showing off on social media
  • 4.Not accepting and Facing the Fact and Living in denial
  • 5.Having false hope - Living in a fool's paradise like ostrich
  • 6.Living only focused to take revenge on people who have harmed you
  • 7.Using the negative, the illegal and the anti-social means, tactics and actions to achieve what we want
  • 8.Getting into debt-trap – by spending more that you earn
  • 9.Not saving money
  • 10.Not paying your bills
  • 11.Behaving like an entitled brat
  • 12.Playing victim to gain sympathy
  • 13.Negative procrastination – yes there is strategic procrastination*
  • 14.Being obsessively perfectionist*
  • 15.Not working on your own confidence level
  • 16.Not learning on constant basis
  • 17.Not keeping yourself job-proof by acquiring the future skills*
  • 18.Letting other people control your life*
  • 19.Not setting healthy boundaries around yourself*
  • 20. Not able to say not wrong demands of others
  • 21.Not being assertive*
  • 22. Not asking for your rights
  • 23. Giving in to the temptations to use alcohol, nicotine and drugs to ease your pain
  • 24. Not seeking help from loved ones
  • 25. Not seeking professional help
  • 26. Justifying our negative behaviors and actions
  • 27.Blaming others and situations
  • 28. Taking same actions YET expecting different results
  • 29. Neglecting self-care*
  • 30. Assuming that you are a know it all
  • 31.Indulging in gossip, talking bad of others
  • 32. Choosing and being with people who are toxic
  • 33. Resisting the change*
  • 34. Giving in to pressure of others for wrong causes
  • 35. Ego – when we don't know yet can't seek help
  • 36. Ego -when because of our success – we stop learning and stop seeking advice
  • 37.Losing faith and trust in your ability to not only get through this failure and believe that you can persevere to create something even better
  • 38. You Don't Manage Your Expectations – thy far too unrealistic
  • 39. You are looking for big gratifications and Fail to Appreciate the Small Things
  • 40. You Take Too Much For Granted
  • 41.You become Your Own bitterest Critic
  • 42. You start Over-Analyzing
  • 43. You Prefer the Easy Way – take short-cuts, use wrong means
  • 44. You Assume a lot and never challenge your assumptions
  • 45. You have Too Many Expectations
  • 46. You become a bad listener*
  • 47.You stop observing*
  • 48. Easily Give Up
  • 49. Don't know when to give up* and when to continue
  • 50. You say No to Change
  • 51.You Put Yourself Down often
  • 52. You Depend on Others too much – even for those tasks you can do it yourself better
  • 53. You Trust Others More than Yourself
  • 54. You Care too Much about Others Opinions
  • 55.You Play it Safe
  • 56. You simply wait for
  • 57.You believe that competition is outside and not inside
  • 58. You don't help others
  • 59. You don't challenge yourself to grow
  • 60. You stay in your comfort zone
  • 61.You are not self-disciplined
  • 62. You micromanage others
  • 63. You try to control others through power
  • 64. You expect constant contentment and gratifications and pleasures
  • 65. Your resistance to being vulnerable*
  • 66. Your expectations of how things are supposed to be.
  • 67.You Wait For Someone Else To "Save" You (Or Fix Situations In Your Life) – instead of taking actions yourself
  • 68. You Perpetuate Unhealthy Behaviors Because You Value Other People's Attention Over Presence With Yourself
  • 69. You Refuse To Work On Developing Self-Control Because You Don't Want To Deprive Yourself (Even If It Holds You Back From Things That Are More Important)
  • 70. You Wait For Motivation Or Inspiration To Get You To Act
  • 71.You allow others to determine your worth
  • 72.You compare yourself to others always
  • 73.You constantly make excuses
  • 74.You hold onto things too long – you can't let go*
  • 75.You are often indecisive
  • 76.Letting Success go to your head and become your Enemy number one
  • 77.Selling Yourself Short
  • 78. Outdated Beliefs
  • 79.Check whether you are an Incompetent professional – be candid and see which of these are true for yourself
  • I.Blame others
  • II.Steal and use the achievements of others – to make to yourself look great
  • III.Deny having done anything – in face of mistakes*
  • IV.Avoid facing up things, situations and people and avoid making your stand clear
  • V.Look for false witnesses to back up your lies
  • VI.Pressurize others to support you in wrong deeds
  • VII.Adding spices to make you look saintly and grand
  • VIII.You start backbiting and start making others look bad
  • IX.You start Inventing a conspiracy to justify our lacunas
  • X.Be careful because lately ignorant people appear to be having great success

50+ Tips on How to stop self-sabotaging and being your own worst enemy

  • 1.We're all imperfect human beings. Perfectly imperfect – and that we Self-Sabotage ourselves Every Day - All The Time
  • 2.Understand that it is your job to continually find where and what you are missing and install controls and systems to correct
  • 3.Being aware but without rationalizing and justifying our self-sabotaging behaviors and actions
  • 4.When you know what you do - ask yourself why you do it - Be absolutely and brutally honest with yourself – keep asking till you get the real bitter truth
  • 5.Separate Yourself From Your Toxic Thoughts - That mean little voice inside you is NOT YOURSELF - Observe it without judging yourself
  • 6.Go for Creating a Life You want * - and – in which Don't have to protest through self-damaging behaviors
  • 7.What you don't like in your life – learn to either accept or change them – make A conscious choice where you know what you want and accept both the positive and negative aspects of it
  • 8.Learn to Ask Tough and Better Questions* of yourself – instead of asking why this is happening – ask What can I do to make it better or handle it better
  • 9.Identify and Break Toxic Habits*
  • 10.Focus on Excellence *, Practice Improvement - ditch perfection*. Most perfectionists have the ability to perform at a higher level than most people - they also experience burnout- feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted and stressed
  • 11.Learn to create love for yourself*
  • 12.Create realistic personal goals and expectations from yourself
  • 13.Stop expecting from others
  • 14.Prioritize self-care and Invest in yourself.
  • 15.Practice saying no more often – to things and people that creates stress and makes you feel bad later
  • 16.Take meaningful breaks and vacations regularly - Remember that this time is not a wastage BUT an investment
  • 17.Stop wasting your time by multitasking
  • 18.Practice not holding others to your same standard
  • 19.Learn to LAUGH IT OFF
    Have you ever heard of the advice that if you stop reacting to someone who teases you, they'll
  • 20. Get off your butt – be an action person
  • 21.Scheduling and be committed to active exercise regularly
  • 22. Focus* on the single most important thing of the day – and then make yourself accountable and just do it
  • 23. Take complete Ownership* Of Every Outcome That You Get
  • 24. Set your own standard
  • 25. Compete* with Yourself - then Raise the bar when you become comfortable with your new level
  • 26. Create a Disciplined* rituals you practice regularly
  • 27.Learn to be comfortable with uncomfortable*
  • 28. Identify and master one habits that gives you maximum benefit and advantage – out of the few samples[you create your own list]
  • 29. Waking up early
  • 30. Determining how you start your day
  • 31.Taking the time to reflect – being with yourself
  • 32. Make the time to expand your mind -Ask yourself
  • I.What dreams have I had for a long time but have never been able to achieve – then go for it if it thrills and terrorizes you the same time
  • II.Where do I keep messing up – how do I learn to minimize these
  • III.Are there areas in my life that I am upset constantly in my life
  • IV.What decisions have I been putting off – which are crucial
  • V.What action I have been postponing that is creating a mess in my life – then take it
  • VI.Which area of my life makes me frustrated
  • VII.Knowing your enemy between your ears become the first step to overcoming all that holds you back
  • 33. Dealing With Negative Self-Talk - First identify the negative Self-talk and then ask yourself
  • I.Is this really true
  • II.Is this kind of thinking making situations worse or better
  • III.Will these thoughts help me get closer to my dreams
  • IV.Create Self-Loving habits
  • V.Solicit Advice from People Who Can Help You
  • VI.Wait It Out strategically– do nothing but be with yourself time to time when going through crises
  • VII.Surround yourself with people those have high standards
  • 34. Developing and enhancing your Emotional* Intelligence* and competency through
  • I.Avoiding power struggles -Sometimes, it's better to be human than to be right
  • II.Be respectable and not likable*
  • III.Accept the differences
  • IV.Learn to let go*
  • V.Learn to forgive others – FOR YOUR OWN SAKE
  • VI.Learn to take the tough choices and decisions*
  • VII.Find a constructive positive channel to manage your anger* - DON'T VENT YOUR FRUSTRATION TO people around you
  • VIII.Develop Empathy* - TRY TO SEE other's point of view
  • IX.FOCUS* Only ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL ABOUT THE SITUATION
  • X.Set Clear Expectations
  • XI.Learn to handle bad bosses*
  • XII.Learn to handle difficult people*
  • XIII.Set clear and healthy Boundaries* around you
  • XIV.Stop Assuming They Know Everything – even if you do – challenge and seek advice to validate
  • XV.Act as the Leader
  • XVI.Identify your mood Triggers* - then learn how would you manage your emotions* in healthy manner
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