Go for Excellence Let Go of Perfectionism

Why to choose and focus on excellence and let go of perfectionism Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect

 In this article you will learn

  • -What 10 negative impacts - Perfectionism can create in our lives
  • -22 issues Perfectionists have in their lives
  • -10 basic tips to Understand what is excellence
  • -28 tips on How to shift from perfectionism to excellence - Healthy Productivity

Many of us confuse perfectionism and a mindset of excellence with the idea that perfectionism is having high standards – or that perfectionism and excellence is one and the same thing.

When we strive for excellence - we certainly have high standards – because high standards encourage us to make improvements, solve problems and do quality work.

It is entirely possible to have high standards without being a perfectionist.

Perfectionists have impossibly high standards with no liberty whatsoever for any imperfections and mistakes.

Do you know anyone OR are yourself one - who spends a lot of time perfecting one assignment, on act, one task – so that the outcomes are magnanimous and superlatively extra-ordinary.

The zillion dollar question would be to ask them – how many times this extra-ordinary outcome actually happened to get the perfectionists the glory – I can bet a perfectionist is never satisfied with whatever they achieve or have done.

When this quest for perfection turns into an obsession –it becomes a serious threat to themselves maddening for those who are closest to these - in many people it may create life-long psychological issues like obsessive compulsive disorder and many other – needing therapy and behavior training.

Perfectionism is actually – our subconscious response to mask our weaknesses, drawbacks, negativities – which happens when we have deep-rooted insecurities.

What 10 negative impacts - Perfectionism can create in our lives

  • 1.We become less efficient and effective
  • 2.We never feel satisfied with what we have accomplished in spite of putting long hours of grueling efforts and hard-work
  • 3.Our productivity is bare-minimum and we achieve less
  • 4.At the end of our all the hard-work we may very less to show in lieu of our exertions
  • 5.Our many important tasks may get ignored – as we are busy in perfecting one act
  • 6.Imperative works get postponed
  • 7.Our big picture is muddied as we try to make it TOO-Picture perfect – in the end we may not know what exactly we want
  • 8.We may have relationships those are superficial or does not last
  • 9.Most of the perfectionists' self-sabotage their life's most crucial and important relationships
  • 10. Their potential never gets utilized as they become very set in their ways of thinking

22 issues Perfectionists have in their lives

  • 1.They can't take criticism from even their biggest well-wishers and supporters – simply because - they equate criticism with failure and failure with worthlessness
  • 2.They externalize their anger of their being criticized - by becoming defensive AND lashing out at their critics – irrespective of whether the criticism is real or perceived
  • 3.Perfectionists tend to be critical of others - It's a defense mechanism that causes them to reject in others what they are unable to accept in themselves - and the more they notice their shortcomings - the more they get fixated to project these on other people – the closest will face the fire most
  • 4.Most of what they think is criticism from others - is actually a projection of their own lacunas
  • 5.They are overly critical of others – they can only see negatives AND even when asked for positives – they will mix it with heavy dose of what is not good
  • 6.They can't take criticism – BUT – they feel very comfortable and enjoy dishing it out to especially their most loved ones – they are off-course very careful not do this with outsiders
  • 7.They generally have unreasonably high expectations from others -which makes them demanding and critical
  • 8.They have difficulty in seeking help and also delegating even minor task not worth their time and efforts
  • 9.They may give so much emphasis on perfecting the minor things that – they lose out in life
  • 10. Many of them tend to procrastinate till last moments
  • 11. They expect others to recognize them instantly as being the best
  • 12. They would rather give-up than persistently doing something - whenever they struggle in anything
  • 13. Their major motivator generally is fear of failure
  • 14. They believe that they are always right as most of them are know it all
  • 15. They have only a particular way of doing things
  • 16. They have a hard time opening up to other people – even if they open up – they will never share their weakness, fears, concerns and even dreams – for the fear of being ridiculed
  • 17. They equate success with happiness AND tend to see their mistakes as failures
  • 18. They are afraid to experiment as it makes them venture into what they fear most – the uncertainty and the unknown – as it magnifies their fear of failure and fear looking weak and inferior in front of them
  • 19. They have difficulty in acknowledging and accepting their mistakes – SO – even if they apologize, you can be sure that they are doing just the lip-service AS they will repeat that mistake again
  • 20. They have very less empathy and can see other's point of view, pain or even try to understand themselves
  • 21. They can never be honest with themselves – even internally they have a tilted self-esteem which makes them feel good but they are aware that it is not true and that they feel they are not good enough
  • 22. They have very large amount of seething-white-rage – which only their closet relations experience. As outside world sees them as wonderful human being AND they can hold grudges where none should be there for life -against their loved ones

10 basic tips to Understand what is excellence

  • 1.Excellence - allows for imperfections and mistakes
  • 2.Excellence is about correcting and moving on with life
  • 3.In Excellence the flaws are viewed as something either to accept or improve – not something to lose sleep on
  • 4.Excellence is striving high - but offering yourself grace for mistakes made
  • 5.Excellence is focused on the process, on the actions and on how make it better next time
  • 6.Excellence is the journey of continuous self-improvement and self-development
  • 7.Excellence is always about progressive realization of small-small goals, milestones and accomplishments those takes us steadily toward our big-picture or dreams
  • 8.Excellence is always about competing with self – without stress and making ourselves better today than yesterday in every aspect and every respect of our lives
  • 9.Excellence is having clear vision, dream and passion – and – knowing what we want and where we would like to be in future
  • 10. Excellence is also being ourselves and accepting, respecting, loving and caring for ourselves – without being selfish and egoist

28 tips on How to shift from perfectionism to excellence - Healthy Productivity

  • 1.Draw a line AND implementing it with zeal
  • I.When will you finish a project
  • II.When will you decide one way or other – if this is the case
  • III.When will you move-on
  • IV.When will you take action real-time – after planning
  • V.Identifying the time-value– it has to be a balanced trade-off between quality and productivity - It has to meet the required deadlines which is expected from us
  • VI.It has to be focused on taking us towards our big-picture
  • VII.Our energies and time have to become focused on the big High-payoff activities
  • 2.Making mistakes and failing has to be acceptable
  • 3.Bouncing-back has to be part of the deal every-time we fail
  • 4.First Focus on our happiness and satisfaction - then only on other's
  • 5.It is about impressing yourself while having fun and stopping to impress others
  • 6.Practicing unconditional Self-Acceptance and being kind to ourselves - every morning – what you love about yourself – everyday different things
  • 7.Whatever quality you choose - repeat it throughout the day and believe in it by visualizing your being that
  • 8.Go ahead and make the decisions - choosing a partner, doing newer things, attempting what you want to but were afraid of so far – WITH THE ACCEPTANCE THAT YOU MAY MAKE MISTAKES AND MAY FAIL
  • 9.Don't expect anything – just lower the Stakes -just have fun doing anything that gives you feel free
  • 10. Be Grateful for and Proud of What You've Done
  • 11. Be grateful to those people who supported you during your tough times
  • 12. Explore Ways to being more Open and Vulnerable – understanding that Imperfections are not inadequacies and that our Vulnerability may feel uncomfortable initially
  • 13. Learning how to be vulnerable will open the vistas of happiness. Love and quality of relationship that you never thought can happen to you
  • 14. Identify Your Values -Stand up for a Cause
  • 15. Feel Your Emotions - Stop muffling your emotions underneath a big blanket and putting your fake-happy-neutral face all the time
  • 16. Meditate - identify Your Limiting beliefs, perceptions and reactions - what all are holding you back
  • 17. Practice Gratitude - Smile - Show Compassion
  • 18. Stop judging others when they make mistakes
  • 19. Face Your Demons – and address the darker parts of yourself to heal your past and move more freely into your future THROUGH having a great present
  • 20. Celebrate your body – it is beautiful, regardless of your size, shape, and medical condition.
  • 21. Honor Your Intellect
  • 22. Forgiveness is a very powerful way of letting go of grudges and negative feelings so start practicing meditation on forgiveness and loving-kindness.
  • 23. Focus on Being - Not on Having
  • 24. Shift your entire focus from where you are to where you want to be and what type of life you want to have, what type of relationship you want to have
  • 25. Start with the small things
  • 26. Take initiative - do what no one else is willing to do
  • 27. Walking the talk – lead by example – become a role-model
  • 28. Learn and Develop these qualities and habits - Discipline, Commitment, Emotional Control, Attitude, focus, Belief, Courage, Calmness, Self-Evaluation, Self-Awareness, Vision, life purpose, positive-emotions, learning-attitude, Adaptability, Self-accountability, Self-transparency, Growth-mindset, Persistence, Persevere

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