<p><span>In this article we will learn the following</span><br></p><p>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">36 reasons why we blame-others and make-excuses or play-victim or start justifying and become defensive [to create an illusion of security]</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-24 negative consequences of blaming others - the real cost we pay when we become a chronic blamer - what are you losing out in life by blaming others</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-26 basic tips on How to stop this behavior how to avoid the habit of blaming - all the cliché have their detailed do-it-yourself videos in our YouTube channel and blogs in our both the websites</b></p><p>Why we blame others and make excuses </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Blaming is the art of making others responsible for all bad things happening to us.</b></p><p>It is very easy to blame others - <b data-redactor-tag="b">when things are going wrong and are not going the way you wanted.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Blame can also be in form of denial or projection - as it helps us protect our self-esteem, self-pride</b> by avoiding awareness of our own lacunas and taking ownership.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Some people spent most of their life - blaming others - for their poor quality of life.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Making-excuses and blaming-others - are part of our defense-mechanism which comes into play and gets triggered because of our deep emotional-insecurities</b>.</p><p>But <b data-redactor-tag="b">making excuses and blaming-others - not only limits your growth-success-happiness and other important-things</b> but also prevents you from living and enjoying your life to the fullest.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Your successes-happiness-relationship-growth-satisfaction-peace can only happen - when you face-truth, accept-facts and take full responsibility for your life.</b></p><p>At the other <b data-redactor-tag="b">end of the spectrum are people who blame themselves for everything - even when they have had nothing to do with any unfortunate outcome</b> - this can be due to their deep-rooted beliefs - that they cause every bad thing all or most of the time.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">This is because of one of the cognitive-distortions - personalization</b> – wherein we blame ourselves for something that is not within our control -<b data-redactor-tag="b">the flip side of this distortion is blaming other people for what happens in our lives</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Then there are people who blame fate or the higher power- religious people might feel that The God is testing their faith or punishing them for their sins</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Have you ever caught yourself making excuses or blaming others - just to divert the attention from your mistakes or follies</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">If you pay-attention objectively - you may find yourself using [at times sub-consciously] - this tool - to rationalize and invent creative-reasons to defend your behavior</b> - to postpone taking action or simply to boost your self-esteem.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Many times - few people may even feel that blaming others is the perfect and natural thing to do.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Masking the truth by making excuses and playing blame-game</b> - actually play havoc with your self-confidence and all the important aspects of life.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">When we consistently blame others for everything that goes awry in our lives - we also forgo working-on and finding solutions to our problems</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Life isn't perfect things will go wrong and all of us will keep making mistakes.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">36 reasons we blame-others and make-excuses or play-victim or start justifying and become defensive [to create an illusion of security]</b></p> <ul><li>1.Avoiding accepting our mistakes</li> <li>2.Avoiding attention on our weaknesses</li> <li>3.Denying and accepting failure</li> <li>4.Suppressing embarrassment</li> <li>5.Avoiding becoming center-of-attraction </li> <li>6.Looking good in the eyes of others</li> <li>7.Making others feel-bad and thus making us feel-good</li> <li>8.Avoiding taking responsibility</li> <li>9.Hiding mistakes</li> <li>10. Hiding our fears and anxieties from others</li> <li>11. Because some of them are really toxic-bad-evil</li> <li><a name="sta"></a>12. To create a false sense of superiority</li> <li>13. To create a higher social status and identity</li> <li><a name="pro"></a>14. When we feel bad about something and want to get rid of this bad feeling - then we project the same as being the quality of others </li> <li><a name="exp"></a>15. Labeling them to avoid or deny responsibility - when anything goes wrong</li> <li><a name="cou"></a>16. When we feel that we are under attack, we may use blaming as a method of defending ourselves </li> <li>17. If we are not at fault - then too - we blame to defend</li> <li>18. Deflecting attention from ourselves - when we are at fault</li> <li>19. Protecting our self-esteem by pointing the finger elsewhere.</li> <li><a name="att"></a>20. Grudge-attacking - this happens when we believe someone is bad and deserve punishment </li> <li>21. Getting even - as they might have blamed you unfairly - earlier</li> <li><a name="con"></a>22. For purposely hurting others</li> <li>23. If we have grown in an atmosphere of being blamed and we found blaming and finding scapegoat works effectively to safeguard our emotional states</li> <li>24. To explain why something happened.</li> <li>25. To attack someone.</li> <li>26. We use it for - feeling good as our mood-therapy</li> <li>27. For escaping from guilt. </li> <li>28. To not to feel vulnerable </li> <li>29. To PROJECT yourself as perfect and fault-free</li> <li>30. To feel that you are in control of situation and people</li> <li>31. To get rid of your pent-up negativities by off-loading it to others</li> <li>32. for boosting your ego </li> <li>33. for feeling like a victim - where nothing ever is your fault</li> <li>34. To get instantaneous feel-good gratification </li> <li>35. Because you don't have to fix for your problems</li> <li>36. to avoid acknowledging their own flaws and shortcomings</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">24 negative consequences of blaming others - the real cost we pay when we become a chronic blamer - what are you losing out in life by blaming others</b></p> <ul><li>1.You will become toxic - and hurt people who truly care and love you </li> <li>2.You feel and become powerless - just think - if you feel - that everything is someone else's fault - then who is powerful you or them </li> <li>3.You can't have meaningful and satisfying relationships - because you will never develop empathy </li> <li>4.Because you avoid accountability and suppress feeling negative-emotions - you won't be able to let go of your pains-hurts-traumas</li> <li>5.You will not have healthy relationships - as you will attract toxic people</li> <li>6.You won't be able to trust others - as you don't have confidence to trust yourself</li> <li>7.You will become chronic-complainer and whiner </li> <li>8.You will have a big-ego and will feel hurt more</li> <li>9.You will live a pathetic life of being a victim</li> <li>10. You will have very-very low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness and feelings of being inadequate</li> <li>11. You will lose valuable friendships, relationships and jobs</li> <li>12. If you don't challenge yourself to reach new heights - you will never really know what you're truly capable of - people blame or make excuses can't reach this level</li> <li>13. New opportunities lie hidden around every corner- but no one can ever find them - if what you have got is excuses for not doing things</li> <li>14. You will lack growth - personally, professionally and in relationships</li> <li>15. You will not have meaningful accomplishments</li> <li>16. You will have strong beliefs which falls under - it can't be done</li> <li>17. You will have regrets which would have many-many - if only i</li> <li>18. You will become and have pessimistic outlook in life</li> <li>19. You will be unable to take critical decisions</li> <li>20. You will have extreme fear of taking decisive action</li> <li>21. You will be lonely with feelings of abandonment</li> <li>22. Because you blame others for all the bad things - you lose the most important habit of self-reflection </li> <li>23. You will make poor-harmful-negative choices</li> <li>24. Because you are not able to connect with yourself - you won't feel connected with anyone </li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">26 basic tips on How to stop this behavior how to avoid the habit of blaming - all the cliché have their detailed do-it-yourself videos in our YouTube channel and blogs in our both the websites</b></p> <ul><li>1.Changing any negative behavior - needs as the first step - acknowledging and accepting that you have this problem - before you can even begin to address them </li> <li>2.Even acknowledging -might not be easy for you - because ironically you will have to take the blame yourself - and hold yourself accountable for your actions</li> <li>3.Ask yourself - what excuses do you usually make - when do you feel like making excuses - when do you feel like justifying what you did - when you become defensive</li> <li>4.Ask yourself - if you don't make this change right now - what all negative consequences- will take place [in addition to what are already in your life] </li> <li>5.Then make a list of all positive transformation that will take in your life and how your life will be changed powerfully</li> <li>6.Start to actively notice your thought process the next time you make a mistake - what is the first thing you do - blame others, justify or rationalize or make-excuses</li> <li>7.Start making conscious efforts to start saying this is my responsibility to correct the mistake made by me - and not anyone else's</li> <li>8.We have to learn to be able to hold ourselves accountable for all the mistakes - big and small - undoubtedly it is going to be scary</li> <li>9.Start learning how you can view your mistakes in empowering ways - learn to view the failures and mistakes as opportunities for your self-improvement and growth - instead to be blamed on others</li> <li>10. All the time - acknowledge your responsibility</li> <li>11. Learn to apologize - if you happen to blame others </li> <li>12. Start pro-actively accepting mistakes - instead of trying to hide or when someone points it to you</li> <li>13. Start paying attention to your habit of magnifying and making mountains from molehills</li> <li>14. Stop trying to impress others - start finding reasons to respect yourself and to impress yourself</li> <li>15. Strat becoming a better listener - just listen to understand - try to see why people act the way they do</li> <li>16. Understand that - seemingly irrational behaviors or views of others can also be valid</li> <li>17. When you notice yourself becoming upset - learn to create a pause - before reacting</li> <li>18. Stop comparing yourself with anyone</li> <li>19. Learn to ask uncomfortable questions of yourself </li> <li>20. Learn to challenge your perceptions and assumptions</li> <li>21. Learn to train yourself - not to talk about the problems - but - putting all efforts to find multiple solutions</li> <li>22. Always be in the company of people who have different views that yours - to seek alternate perspectives</li> <li>23. Identify your strengths and play to them</li> <li>24. Become an action-person - set small, attainable goals & take action every day</li> <li>25. Remember - it is okay to not be perfect</li> <li>26. Learn to reduce your habit of overthinking</li></ul><div><br></div><p>#whyweplayblamegame, #reasonswhyweblameothers, #whatmakesusmakeexcuses, #negativeconsequencesofblamingothers, #howtostopblamingothers, #howtogetridofhabitofblamingothers</p>