<p><b data-redactor-tag="b">81+ Self-Sabotaging Habits and Thought Patterns and 50+ Tips on how not to be your own worst enemy.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b"><span data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-style="font-size: 18px">Understand and accept that No one can be more effective at screwing-up your life better than yourself.</span></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Agreed that You might be going through most harrowing times</b> – but, MANY TIMES, <b data-redactor-tag="b">the way we perceive, think and deal with what has already happened</b> – <b data-redactor-tag="b">actually proves to be more destructive</b> than the original crisis. </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Most of us judge and appraise ourselves in ways</b> that are extremely self-harming, self-detrimental and self-sabotaging.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">We may have very sound reasons to blame the circumstances or people around</b> for our challenges, shortcomings and obstacles. </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">All of us face disappointments, frustrations, major-crisis, set-backs, failures, heartbreak, illness</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">And only us - We play a pivotal role in how we bounce back and create our future</b> - of all that we ever want to Be, Do and have.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">One of our Biggest Competitor and enemy is Our own Incompetence</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">It is not our external enemies that defeat us</b>[in fact they could be the reason for our growth] – but it is those within us</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">If we can understand that We are the only sole decision-maker - to shape our present and our future</b> [irrespective of how catastrophic incidents have taken place in our life] – then we may come out of tough times better.</p><p>There are people around us - <b data-redactor-tag="b">who overcame excruciating and devastating times and did something</b> – which makes them our role-models and inspirations.</p><p>All of these people – accomplished – what makes us in awe of them – <b data-redactor-tag="b">by DEFEATING AND COMING THEIR INNER DEMONS AND ENEMIES WITHIN.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Our worst enemy is right within us.</b></p><p>Whether we realize it or not – <b data-redactor-tag="b">we have a very strong internal dialogue going on – constantly within ourselves</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Sometimes these are positive and at other instances highly destructive self-talk</b> – which intensely and powerfully influence our actions and the quality of our lives.</p><p>Many of <b data-redactor-tag="b">these Self-critical and self-limiting and self-berating thoughts increase our nervousness or make us feel let down and depressed</b> and also zap our energies and enthusiasms.</p><p>Then we become our own worst enemies – and – <b data-redactor-tag="b">give so much power to these inner-voices, habits, perceptions and assumptions</b> THAT they make the situation from worse to worst. </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Let us first identify what behaviors and thought patterns</b> are making our existence miserable and quality of life hell.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Throughout this article and in all my blogs the *marked ones means</b> there is a separate Do It Yourself Article/Blog of mine is there in the Blog Section From the Heart of Subhashis in Success Unlimited Mantra website. </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">81+ Self-Sabotaging Habits and Thought Patterns</b> - The Real Enemy within</p> <ul><li>1.Not recognizing our insecurities, fears, guilts and concern [and dealing with these effectively]– and – letting these play havoc with our lives as well as with the lives of our loved ones</li> <li>2.Letting our Envy, Jealousy Resentment drive our behaviors, actions and thoughts</li> <li>3.Getting into selfie posting modes or being too active in showing off on social media</li> <li>4.Not accepting and Facing the Fact and Living in denial</li> <li>5.Having false hope - Living in a fool's paradise like ostrich </li> <li>6.Living only focused to take revenge on people who have harmed you</li> <li>7.Using the negative, the illegal and the anti-social means, tactics and actions to achieve what we want</li> <li>8.Getting into debt-trap – by spending more that you earn</li> <li>9.Not saving money</li> <li>10.Not paying your bills</li> <li>11.Behaving like an entitled brat</li> <li>12.Playing victim to gain sympathy</li> <li>13.Negative procrastination – yes there is strategic procrastination*</li> <li>14.Being obsessively perfectionist* </li> <li>15.Not working on your own confidence level</li> <li>16.Not learning on constant basis</li> <li>17.Not keeping yourself job-proof by acquiring the future skills*</li> <li>18.Letting other people control your life*</li> <li>19.Not setting healthy boundaries around yourself*</li> <li>20. Not able to say not wrong demands of others</li> <li>21.Not being assertive*</li> <li>22. Not asking for your rights</li> <li>23. Giving in to the temptations to use alcohol, nicotine and drugs to ease your pain</li> <li>24. Not seeking help from loved ones</li> <li>25. Not seeking professional help</li> <li>26. Justifying our negative behaviors and actions</li> <li>27.Blaming others and situations</li> <li>28. Taking same actions YET expecting different results</li> <li>29. Neglecting self-care*</li> <li>30. Assuming that you are a know it all</li> <li>31.Indulging in gossip, talking bad of others</li> <li>32. Choosing and being with people who are toxic </li> <li>33. Resisting the change*</li> <li>34. Giving in to pressure of others for wrong causes</li> <li>35. Ego – when we don't know yet can't seek help</li> <li>36. Ego -when because of our success – we stop learning and stop seeking advice</li> <li>37.Losing faith and trust in your ability to not only get through this failure and believe that you can persevere to create something even better</li> <li>38. You Don't Manage Your Expectations – thy far too unrealistic</li> <li>39. You are looking for big gratifications and Fail to Appreciate the Small Things</li> <li>40. You Take Too Much For Granted</li> <li>41.You become Your Own bitterest Critic</li> <li>42. You start Over-Analyzing</li> <li>43. You Prefer the Easy Way – take short-cuts, use wrong means</li> <li>44. You Assume a lot and never challenge your assumptions</li> <li>45. You have Too Many Expectations</li> <li>46. You become a bad listener*</li> <li>47.You stop observing*</li> <li>48. Easily Give Up </li> <li>49. Don't know when to give up* and when to continue</li> <li>50. You say No to Change </li> <li>51.You Put Yourself Down often</li> <li>52. You Depend on Others too much – even for those tasks you can do it yourself better</li> <li>53. You Trust Others More than Yourself</li> <li>54. You Care too Much about Others Opinions</li> <li>55.You Play it Safe</li> <li>56. You simply wait for </li> <li>57.You believe that competition is outside and not inside</li> <li>58. You don't help others </li> <li>59. You don't challenge yourself to grow </li> <li>60. You stay in your comfort zone</li> <li>61.You are not self-disciplined</li> <li>62. You micromanage others</li> <li>63. You try to control others through power</li> <li>64. You expect constant contentment and gratifications and pleasures</li> <li>65. Your resistance to being vulnerable*</li> <li>66. Your expectations of how things are supposed to be.</li> <li>67.You Wait For Someone Else To "Save" You (Or Fix Situations In Your Life) – instead of taking actions yourself</li> <li>68. You Perpetuate Unhealthy Behaviors Because You Value Other People's Attention Over Presence With Yourself</li> <li>69. You Refuse To Work On Developing Self-Control Because You Don't Want To Deprive Yourself (Even If It Holds You Back From Things That Are More Important)</li> <li>70. You Wait For Motivation Or Inspiration To Get You To Act</li> <li>71.You allow others to determine your worth</li> <li>72.You compare yourself to others always</li> <li>73.You constantly make excuses</li> <li>74.You hold onto things too long – you can't let go*</li> <li>75.You are often indecisive</li> <li>76.Letting Success go to your head and become your Enemy number one</li> <li>77.Selling Yourself Short</li> <li>78. Outdated Beliefs</li> <li>79.Check whether you are an Incompetent professional – be candid and see which of these are true for yourself</li> <li>I.Blame others</li> <li>II.Steal and use the achievements of others – to make to yourself look great</li> <li>III.Deny having done anything – in face of mistakes*</li> <li>IV.Avoid facing up things, situations and people and avoid making your stand clear</li> <li>V.Look for false witnesses to back up your lies</li> <li>VI.Pressurize others to support you in wrong deeds</li> <li>VII.Adding spices to make you look saintly and grand</li> <li>VIII.You start backbiting and start making others look bad </li> <li>IX.You start Inventing a conspiracy to justify our lacunas </li> <li>X.Be careful because lately ignorant people appear to be having great success</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">50+ Tips on How to stop self-sabotaging and being your own worst enemy</b></p> <ul><li>1.We're all imperfect human beings. Perfectly imperfect – and that we Self-Sabotage ourselves Every Day - All The Time</li> <li>2.Understand that it is your job to continually find where and what you are missing and install controls and systems to correct</li> <li>3.Being aware but without rationalizing and justifying our self-sabotaging behaviors and actions</li> <li>4.When you know what you do - ask yourself why you do it - Be absolutely and brutally honest with yourself – keep asking till you get the real bitter truth</li></ul> <ul><li>5.Separate Yourself From Your Toxic Thoughts - That mean little voice inside you is NOT YOURSELF - Observe it without judging yourself</li> <li>6.Go for Creating a Life You want * - and – in which Don't have to protest through self-damaging behaviors</li> <li>7.What you don't like in your life – learn to either accept or change them – make A conscious choice where you know what you want and accept both the positive and negative aspects of it</li> <li>8.Learn to Ask Tough and Better Questions* of yourself – instead of asking why this is happening – ask What can I do to make it better or handle it better</li> <li>9.Identify and Break Toxic Habits*</li> <li>10.Focus on Excellence *, Practice Improvement - ditch perfection*. Most perfectionists have the ability to perform at a higher level than most people - they also experience burnout- feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted and stressed</li> <li>11.Learn to create love for yourself*</li> <li>12.Create realistic personal goals and expectations from yourself</li> <li>13.Stop expecting from others</li> <li>14.Prioritize self-care and Invest in yourself.</li> <li>15.Practice saying no more often – to things and people that creates stress and makes you feel bad later</li> <li>16.Take meaningful breaks and vacations regularly - Remember that this time is not a wastage BUT an investment</li> <li>17.Stop wasting your time by multitasking</li> <li>18.Practice not holding others to your same standard</li> <li>19.Learn to LAUGH IT OFF<br> Have you ever heard of the advice that if you stop reacting to someone who teases you, they'll </li> <li>20. Get off your butt – be an action person</li> <li>21.Scheduling and be committed to active exercise regularly</li> <li>22. Focus* on the single most important thing of the day – and then make yourself accountable and just do it</li> <li>23. Take complete Ownership* Of Every Outcome That You Get</li> <li>24. Set your own standard</li> <li>25. Compete* with Yourself - then Raise the bar when you become comfortable with your new level</li> <li>26. Create a Disciplined* rituals you practice regularly</li> <li>27.Learn to be comfortable with uncomfortable*</li> <li>28. Identify and master one habits that gives you maximum benefit and advantage – out of the few samples[you create your own list]</li> <li>29. Waking up early </li> <li>30. Determining how you start your day </li> <li>31.Taking the time to reflect – being with yourself</li> <li>32. Make the time to expand your mind -Ask yourself </li> <li>I.What dreams have I had for a long time but have never been able to achieve – then go for it if it thrills and terrorizes you the same time</li> <li>II.Where do I keep messing up – how do I learn to minimize these </li> <li>III.Are there areas in my life that I am upset constantly in my life</li> <li>IV.What decisions have I been putting off – which are crucial</li> <li>V.What action I have been postponing that is creating a mess in my life – then take it</li> <li>VI.Which area of my life makes me frustrated </li> <li>VII.Knowing your enemy between your ears become the first step to overcoming all that holds you back</li> <li>33. Dealing With Negative Self-Talk - First identify the negative Self-talk and then ask yourself </li> <li>I.Is this really true</li> <li>II.Is this kind of thinking making situations worse or better</li> <li>III.Will these thoughts help me get closer to my dreams</li> <li>IV.Create Self-Loving habits</li> <li>V.Solicit Advice from People Who Can Help You</li> <li>VI.Wait It Out strategically– do nothing but be with yourself time to time when going through crises</li> <li>VII.Surround yourself with people those have high standards</li> <li>34. Developing and enhancing your Emotional* Intelligence* and competency through</li> <li>I.Avoiding power struggles -Sometimes, it's better to be human than to be right </li> <li>II.Be respectable and not likable*</li> <li>III.Accept the differences</li> <li>IV.Learn to let go*</li> <li>V.Learn to forgive others – FOR YOUR OWN SAKE</li> <li>VI.Learn to take the tough choices and decisions*</li> <li>VII.Find a constructive positive channel to manage your anger* - DON'T VENT YOUR FRUSTRATION TO people around you</li> <li>VIII.Develop Empathy* - TRY TO SEE other's point of view</li> <li>IX.FOCUS* Only ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL ABOUT THE SITUATION</li> <li>X.Set Clear Expectations</li> <li>XI.Learn to handle bad bosses*</li> <li>XII.Learn to handle difficult people*</li> <li>XIII.Set clear and healthy Boundaries* around you</li> <li>XIV.Stop Assuming They Know Everything – even if you do – challenge and seek advice to validate</li> <li>XV.Act as the Leader</li> <li>XVI.Identify your mood Triggers* - then learn how would you manage your emotions* in healthy manner</li></ul>