<p>In this article you will learn</p><ul><li>-<b>12 Questions to Clarify – if we really need to prove ourselves – please answer honestly and sincerely</b></li><li>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">14 Benefits I experienced AND you too can – when you your life without trying to prove to others of your worth</b></li> <li>-<strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">20 ways how can you create meaning in your life – it is my list – you can use it and add yours</strong></li> <li>-<strong>20 things that others should notice on their own – you absolutely don't have the need to tell the world yourself</strong><span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span></li> <li>-<strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">42 tips how to stop trying to impress other people - by discovering how you can minimize the look at me urge to live a happier and more fulfilled life</strong> </li></ul><p><span><br></span></p><p> <b data-redactor-tag="b">Why we try to prove ourselves to others AND to know should we be trying to prove ourselves at all</b> AND How to feel good about ourselves being perfectly authentically genuinely us<br></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">In today's highly competitive volatile, ambiguous, uncertain, confusing and constantly changing world</strong> [VUCA as well as disruptive] – each one of us are under very heavy pressure and it takes a big-toll on almost every aspects and every area of our lives.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">The constant disruptions, the ever increasing pressures and changes plays havoc in our relationships, our happiness, our successes and on our self- image/ self-esteem/ self-confidence/ self-worth</strong> etc. etc.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Which in turn makes us feel insecure, unsure, and confused – thus creating a vicious cycle.</strong></p><p>Many of the current millennials and generation Zs - are growing up with FOMO*[fear of missing out].</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">And we get caught-up in trying to seek others' approval, other's acceptance and other's validations of our actions, wishes and living our life as per other people's wishes.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">You may not know all the keys to your success - but one of the definite keys to failure is trying to please others.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">And trying to satisfy everyone – is the best recipe for disappointments, hurts and upsets.</strong></p><p>In todays' time where most of us have to be exposed to the social media - <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">many of us may start comparing our lives with others[without knowing the real scenario] – just based their social media posts</strong>.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">It has become so serious – that many of us may attach our self-worth by how many likes we get.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">So many of us spend our almost entire life - trying to impress others. What a colossal waste.</strong></p><p>We all know how good it feels to have somebody look at you with awe in their eyes – it becomes especially great if that someone is the one - you look up to and respect.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">And while this experience is fantastic</strong> [only when it is earned naturally, unintentionally and simply as the outcome of doing what has made you feel good].</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">But it will play havoc with our self-confidence and sub-conscious – when we try to manufacture this situation.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">The fact is that when we are trying to project an image of who we are not</strong> [by exaggerating our accomplishments, qualities and intentions] – it only impacts us negatively as in our sub-conscious we very well know that we are lying</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Why we are we so eager to impress people – because as human being we are hungry for meaning </strong>- but when we have not reached the level to make it worthy for us – <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">we tend to compensate our feelings with an artificial booster from others.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">People who believe in themselves don't need public recognition to reassure their worth</strong> - if you believe in yourself, you won't care what others think.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">In fact - the idea to write this article came out when one of the portals asked me to write blog on - "what is one piece of advice I will give to large groups and which I found difficult to follow myself at times".</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Having lived almost 55+ years of trying to live my life as per others - only since last few years I am trying to live as per my terms, my passions and my dreams.</strong></p><p>But it is not easy – because of my 50 years of<strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor"> deep-rooted conditioning there are emotional turmoil and inner resistance which makes me go back to old behavior now and then.</strong></p><p>Only because my sub-conscious finds the life to be happier and less stressful – <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">by being myself and living by my standards and my rules – I am succeeding</strong></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">12 Questions to Clarify – if we really need to prove ourselves – please answer honestly and sincerely</b></p><ul><li>1.What are the important areas of your life </li> <li>2.Which areas do we need to prove that we are good enough</li> <li>3.Why do we need to prove that we are good-enough and to whom </li> <li>4.Whom we have to prove that we are good-enough -identify the people who make you feel inadequate and creates this urge in you</li> <li>5.What are the measurable parameters and milestone [which would show us that we are making progress] and an end-state indicator which tells us we have finally become good enough</li> <li>6.Supposing that we have managed to prove [it is always to others] that we are good enough – was the struggle, the pains, the anxieties and the stress worth it</li> <li>7.Did those people for whom you have proved yourself – have even acknowledged it – this is a question – you will find that no one will ever seem to notice and mention - all your efforts – even if these might have bankrupted you in every manner emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and all other ways</li> <li>8.All the while when we were focusing on proving to the world that we are really worthy of their attention, admiration and approval – did we also accomplish what we always wanted to be, do and have OR lost it completely</li> <li>9.When you are able to introspect objectively - you will find that this validation seeking urge exist only within our own psyche – others may use our this weakness to take advantage of us by making us slave more for them – nothing more</li> <li>10.You will find all your struggles to prove yourself is not worth a damn – asone in the world actually gives a damn about you – Chances are, they are in the similar rigmarole of their own.</li> <li>11.Ask yourself that – living your entire life and existence – just to prove that we are worthy – have you ever really felt fully satisfied with living this life of show-off </li> <li>12.Did proving to others that we are good-enough - made us more fulfilled and blissful </li></ul><p>You can certainly break free from this thinking and obsessive pattern – because it is only a loose, loss,then loose even more and regret GAME - because nobody in this world can satisfy, please and get approval from everyone.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">14 Benefits I experienced AND you too can – when you your life without trying to prove to others of your worth</b></p><ul><li>1.I have truly started believing and living the concept that the only person I should live to impress is myself </li> <li>2.I am no longer ashamed to be who I am at the core of my being</li> <li>3.I am no longer scared or concerned to express what I feel gracefully</li> <li>4.I need not explain everything about my actions and my decisions – at least not to everyone</li> <li>5.I don't have to prove my worth to anyone – I am worthy enough</li> <li>6.Only exception are the formal examinations and interviews - that I am taking by my own choice</li> <li>7.I have learned to focus on living meaningful life - and not for gaining applause from others</li> <li>8.Someone asked me why I write blogs and make videos on YouTube – very few reads them or listens to them AND especially when it does not earn me any money - I told him it is because I enjoy writing and sharing my views - even if no one ever reads or listens - it is perfectly alright with me – today it feels great</li> <li>9.I also don't have the need or urge to make my presence noticed – I am perfectly happy being no-one – meaning I don't crave for attention</li> <li>10.I choose to do things which adds value to me, my loved ones and to others AND makes me feel good about myself</li> <li>11.Because I have stopped comparing myself with others – my anxiety levels too have come down </li> <li>12.Just because your life doesn't match somebody else's definition – it does not mean that it isn't exciting and full.</li> <li>13.I have attempted larger than life big goals – I have a very fair share of failures, pain, miseries and setbacks – along with satisfactions, successes and happiness</li> <li>14.Looking back I feel – my being myself and living for my loved ones is worth living – no regrets absolutely</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">20 ways how can you create meaning in your life – it is my list – you can use it and add yours</strong></p><ul><li>1.Expressing what you really feel – of-course – nicely, politely, assertively, respectfully</li> <li>2.Expressing your views, opinions, perspective, pleasure, dis-pleasure, likes, dislikes, appreciation, apologies, love, affections – as and when you want – without expecting anything in return</li> <li>3.Doing what makes you feel come alive – [exactly like the proverb dance like no one is watching –my take – dancing when you want it where you want it and irrespective of anyone watching you or not]</li> <li>4.Doing what scares you but also makes your adrenalin rush in such a way to make it thrilling and exciting</li> <li>5.Being yourself – accepting openly your mistakes, failures, weaknesses</li> <li>6.Loving yourself unconditionally</li> <li>7.Stretching yourself in the realm of unknown, uncertain and ambiguous and failing because you attempted the larger than life goals</li> <li>8.Learning all the time – making learning fun and meaningful</li> <li>9.Accepting your ignorance without feeling guilty</li> <li>10.Giving your 100%* and focusing* on Excellence* only</li> <li>11.Letting go of the past – especially because you gave your 100% and –especially because no one can really go back and change their past</li> <li>12.Developing the habit of being an action-person to fill your days with the high-payoff activities [like creating meaning in your life, nurturing relationships, taking care of yourself, adding value to others and not giving a damn to what others do/say/think about you</li> <li>13.Experimenting with your life the way you want it to be</li> <li>14.Taking risks</li> <li>15.Creating legacy </li> <li>16.Making positive differences to others</li> <li>17.Enjoying being dumb in the company of the brilliant and smarts</li> <li>18.Laughing at your failures after taking the lessons </li> <li>19.Spending time with your loved ones</li> <li>20.Collecting memories rather than materialistic things</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">20 things that others should notice on their own – you absolutely don't have the need to tell the world yourself</strong></p><ul><li>1.You don't need to convince anyone that you are smart</li> <li>2.You don't need to inform people that you exercise</li> <li>3.You don't need to tell others that you are pretty or handsome</li> <li>4.You don't need to impress anyone through using makeup, clothes, cars, bank-balance – GIRLS your face and hair are not coloring canvas – just chill out with your natural beauty</li> <li>5.The truth is that - no one [at least who matters to you] - really care about that pimple on your face </li> <li>6.However wear makeup because it makes you feel good and not to make people think you are beautiful and to make them attracted to you</li> <li>7.Understand that you need to impress only yourself</li> <li>8.Accept that your dignity is not determined by the opinions of others</li> <li>9.Understand and accept that you can't please and satisfy everyone – no one should try to do this</li> <li>10.Trying to impress people by putting up an act - is very exhausting – it gives you no joy internally</li> <li>11.The right people will love you for who you really are - and respect you for your beauty of thoughts, your care, your respecting them, your knowledge etc. etc.</li> <li>12.You would lose your own identity – while you are trying to impress and prove to others and making them accept you</li> <li>13.Our society's materialistic measurement of worth is really worthless – ask the big celebrities if you could AND read about those who committed suicide</li> <li>14.Life isn't a race - you have nothing to prove</li> <li>15.The path to all great things passes through failure</li> <li>16.Be yourself it does not cost you BUT makes you feel wonderful - people will judge you anyway</li> <li>17.Accept that no one can control others' opinions, views, decisions, action etc. etc.</li> <li>18.Your standards for your life are the only standards that matter</li> <li>19.Understand and see - if your life is centered on comparing yourself to others - you will find that most of the time you feel depressed thinking about the people who are having better life than yourself</li> <li>20.Understand that good thing sells itself and a bad thing must be advertised and hard-sold</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">42 tips how to stop trying to impress other people - by discovering how you can minimize the look at me urge to live a happier and more fulfilled life</strong> </p><ul><li>1.Find out why you're trying to impress others - for some it is to be socially accepted by the group of their choice- for other it could be creating a feeling of having someone look at them and think – wow – he/she is successful/smart/beautiful/or something like this</li> <li>2.Ask yourself why you feel the need to impress other people - what do you ultimately hope to accomplish</li> <li>3.Ask yourself - what you feel you lack</li> <li>4.Ask and face the fact – whether your thought-patterns and the need to prove yourself - stem from a lack of confidence or insecurity</li> <li>5.Ask yourself - whether you feel that the only way to impress other people is to boast about your accomplishments or to amuse them with stories of your success</li> <li>6.Ask yourself are you really impressing others – by whatever techniques you are using – or does it make you come out as a desperate person</li> <li>7.Now start addressing the issue - keep in mind - that behavior change isn't an overnight process - there will be periods of success and relapse</li> <li>8.Whenever you get the urge of impressing others - start telling yourself "I am going to give my best and my 100% - thereafter I don't care and I don't give a damn"</li> <li>9.Make a list of things you do with the intention to impress others – then ask whether putting up a false front make you feel great or lousy </li> <li>10.Find out what motivates you and what makes you come alive when you are by yourself and doing what excites you</li> <li>11.Create your own definition of success and happiness – not borrowed from others</li> <li>12.Focus on your dreams and taking all the actions to make yourself successful as per your definition - free yourselves from other's opinions </li> <li>13.Try to consciously make yourself busy in taking actions – and forgetting about what will they think and what will they say – it really does not matter</li> <li>14.Let your results speak about you</li> <li>15.Reframe your meaning of life and what is meaningful - if you want to be great - then do something great</li> <li>16.Ask yourself - given the choice - would you be famous-and-miserable - or happy-contended-and-unknown</li> <li>17.Start becoming aware whenever you start putting up an act to impress others – you will also notice that there is no real joy and your heart feels empty</li> <li>18.Create your own personal power of knowledge, passion, dependability, excellence, commitment, skills, professionalism etc. etc.</li> <li>19.Work on the simple logic - why try fit in when you could stand out – stand-out by being the unique you</li> <li>20.Create your own signature style</li> <li>21.Understand that when we are trying to prove something – it is actually an insult</li> <li>22.Take initiative - take lead – take responsibility</li> <li>23.Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zones</li> <li>24.Explore new relationships – where people see the real you</li> <li>25.Discover yourself</li> <li>26.Find your talents and make them your strong suits</li> <li>27.Do the right things - don't be afraid to be unpopular – if you doing the right thing</li> <li>28.Never be ashamed of your failures</li> <li>29.Accept your mistakes and correct them</li> <li>30.Say no *– to things, demands and people, that does not make you feel good about yourself</li> <li>31.Believe in yourself* and Be proud of your work</li> <li>32.Create some pointers to make you notice the moment you feel the need to impress others – and stop – it would need practice</li> <li>33.When you have done something silly and embarrassing – feel the emotions fully – don't try to suppress them</li> <li>34.Stop spending efforts, arguments, time and energy to prove people wrong and yourself right –it has no value</li> <li>35.Focus on things that actually matter - Turn your life upside down – take new challenges that makes you come alive</li> <li>36.Be comfortable in Being vulnerable*</li> <li>37.Ready to be unaccepted, undermined, or misunderstood – because this will happen irrespective of all that you try</li> <li>38.Take initiative to resolve conflicts and clear misunderstanding</li> <li>39.Learn to ask silly and stupid questions to gain clarity and understand things better</li> <li>40.Learn to express yourself by mastering the use of I sentences rather than You sentences</li> <li>41.Take complete ownership for your life and your actions</li> <li>42.Continuously learn*, unlearn* and relearn*</li></ul><div><br></div><p> <b data-redactor-tag="b">#howtostoptryingtoproveyourself, #wefeelunsureandinsecure, #whywehavetheurgetoproveourselves, #</b>FOMOthefearofmissingout, <b data-redactor-tag="b">#dowereallyneedtoproveourselvestoothers, #whytrytopleaseeveryone, #whytryingtosatisfyeveryoneisdissatrous, #doyouattachyourselfworthwithothers, #creatingselfbelief, #whywehaveurgetoimpressothers, #livingfakelifekillsourjoys, #benefitsoflivingthelifeyouwant, #howcanwecreatemeaninginourlife, #expressingwhatyoufeelassertively, #saynotodemandofothers, #doingwhatmakesyoufeelgreat, #doingwhatscaresandthrillsyou, #lovingyourselfunconditionally, #acceptingyourignoranceandmistakes, #learningandunleaarningallthetime, #experimentingwithyourlife, #beinginthecompanyofthesmart, #creatingpositivedifferencetoothers, #createyourowndefinitionofsuccessandhappiness, #stoptryingtoproveyouareright, #stoptryingtoproveotherswrong</b> </p>