Today's highly competitive volatile, ambiguous, uncertain, confusing and constantly changing world [VUCA as well as disruptive] – puts very heavy pressure and takes big-toll on almost every aspects of our lives.
The constant disruptive pressures and changes plays havoc in our Relationships, Our Happiness, Our Successes and on our Self- Image/ Self-esteem/ Self-confidence/ Self-worth etc etc.
Which in turn is responsible for making us feel Insecure, Unsure, and Confused – creating a vicious cycle.
Many of the current millennials and generation Zs - are growing up with FOMO*[fear of missing out].
And we get caught-up in trying to seek others' approval, other's acceptance and other's validations of our actions, wishes and even life.
You may not know the keys to your success - but the one of the definite keys to failure is trying to please others.
Many of us may start comparing our lives based on others social media posts.
It has become so serious – that many of us may attach our self-worth by how many likes we get.
So Many of us spend our almost entire life - trying to impress others. What a colossal waste.
We all know how good it feels to have somebody look at you with awe in their eyes – It becomes especially great if that someone is the one - you look up to and respect.
And while this experience is fantastic [only when it is earned naturally, unintentionally and simply as the outcome of doing what has made you feel good].
BUT It will play havoc with our self-confidence and sub-conscious – when we try to manufacture this situation.
The fact is that when we are trying to project an image of who we are not [by exaggerating our accomplishments, qualities and intentions] – it only impacts us negatively as in our sub-conscious we very well know that we are lying
Why We are we so eager to impress people – because as human being we are hungry for meaning - But when we have not reached the level to make it worthy for us – we tend to compensate our feelings with an artificial booster from others.
People who believe in themselves don't need public recognition to reassure their worth - If you believe in yourself, you won't care what others think.
In fact - The idea to write this article came out when one of the portals asked me to write blog on => "What is one piece of advice I will give to Large groups and Which I found it difficult to follow it Myself at times".
Because I have lived almost 50 years doing the same very thing – now only since last few years I am trying to live as per my terms, my passions and my dreams.
But it is not easy – 50 years of conditioning there are emotional turmoil and inner resistance which makes me go back to old behavior now and then - but because my sub-conscious finds the life to be happier and less stressful, it has started to support me.
I find the following changes since I am trying to live this life
- 1.I started fully believing and living the concept that The Only Person You Should Live to Impress Is Yourself – as It is now or never for each one of us AND ONLY THIS LIFE.
- 2.I am no longer ashamed to love the things I love or to express who I am.
- 3.The biggest thing I have learned is that not everything I do – needs to be explained it to others AND neither I have to prove myself to others [unless it is a formal examination or interview - that I am taking by my own choice].
- 4.I have learned to focus on living meaningful life - and not for gaining applause from others.
- 5.Someone asked me why I write BLOGs – I told him it is because I enjoy writing [Even if no one ever reads it is perfectly alright with me].
- 6.I also don't feel the need or urge to make my presence noticed
- 7.Instead I choose to do things which adds value.
- 8.As I have stopped comparing myself with others – my anxiety levels too have come down.
- 9.Just because your life doesn't match somebody else's does not mean that it isn't exciting and full.
- 10.Because I have attempted big goals – consequently I too have my fair share of failures, pain, miseries, setbacks – along with satisfactions, successes and happiness.
Few Meanings of Live to Express Yourself – it has many elements [in fact you will identify many more additional points]
- 1.Saying what you really feel – Of-Course – nicely, politely, assertively, respectfully
- 2.Expressing your views, opinions, perspective, pleasure, dis-pleasure, likes, dislikes, appreciation, apologies, love, affections
- 3.Doing what makes you feel come alive – [say like the proverb dance like no one is watching – HERE – my take – Dancing when you want it where you want it and irrespective of anyone watching you or not
- 4.Doing what scares you BUT also makes your adrenalin rush in such a way to make it thrilling and exciting
- 5.Being yourself – accepting openly your mistakes, failures, weaknesses
- 6.Loving yourself unconditionally
- 7.Stretching yourself in the realm of Unknown, uncertain and ambiguous AND failing because you attempted the larger than life goals
- 8.Learning all the time – making it fun
- 9.Accepting your ignorance without feeling guilty
- 10.Giving your 100%* and Focusing* on Excellence* only
- 11.Letting go of the past – especially because you gave your 100% AND because no one can really go back and change their past
- 12.Developing the habit of being an Action-Person to fill your days with the High-Payoff activities [like creating meaning in your life, nurturing relationships, taking care of yourself, adding value to others AND not giving damn to what others Do/say/think about you
19 Basics Understanding that You Need To Create within Yourself - about the WHYs of Trying to Impress Others and Proving Ourselves
- 1.Understand that You don't need anyone to assure you that you are smart
- 2.You don't need to inform people that you are exercising
- 3.You don't need others to tell you that you are pretty or handsome
- 4.You don't need to impress anyone by how much makeup you wear - GIRL YUR FACE IS NOT A COLORING SHEET – JUST CHILL OUT WITH YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY
- 5.Fact is that - No one [at least who matters to you] - really care about that pimple on your face - Wear makeup because it makes you feel good and not because people will think you are beautiful and get attracted to you
- 6.You need to impress only yourself
- 7.Your dignity is not determined by the opinions of others
- 8.You can't please and satisfy everyone
- 9.Trying to impress people by putting up an act - is very exhausting
- 10.The right people will love you for who you really are, and respect you for your thoughts
- 11.You would lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others
- 12.Society's materialistic measurement of worth is worthless
- 13.Life isn't a race - you have nothing to prove
- 14.The path to all great things passes through failure
- 15.Be Yourself* - People Will Judge You Anyway
- 16.Accept that we can't control others' opinions
- 17.Your standards for your life are the only standards that matter
- 18.Understand and see - if your life is centered on comparing yourself to others - You will be depressed thinking about the people who are having better life than yourself
- 19.Understand that Good thing sells itself and a bad thing must be advertised
36 Tips How to Stop Trying to Impress Other People - by Discovering how you can minimize the look at me urge to live a happier and more fulfilled life – ALL *MARKED ONES HAVE separate DIY blogs in Success Unlimited Mantra portal – "from the Heart of Subhashis"
- 1.Find out why you're trying to impress others - For some it is to be socially accepted by the group of their choice, for other it could be creating a feeling of having someone look at them and think – Wow – He/she is successful/smart/beautiful/anything else
- 2.Ask yourself why you feel the need to impress other people - What do you ultimately hope to accomplish
- 3.Ask and question and clarify for yourself - If your actions stem from a lack of confidence or insecurity
- 4.After thorough verification ACCEPT [in case it is true] that You are a Mr. OR Ms. Boast [if you feel that the only way to impress other people is to boast about your accomplishments OR to amuse them with stories of your success]
- 5.Ask yourself are you really Impressing Others
- 6.Address the issue - Keep in mind too that behavior change isn't an overnight process. There will be periods of success and relapse
- 7.Whenever you get the urge of impressing others => start Telling yourself "I am going to give my Best and my 100% - thereafter I don't care OR I don't give a damn"
- 8.Make a list of things you do to impress others – ask yourself What is it about doing these things that make you feel good.
- 9.Find out What Motivates You and what is good for you
- 10.Free Yourselves from Other's Opinions - We all want success and greatness, and should seek it
- 11.Forget about What will they think and What will they say – it really does not matter
- 12.Reframe your meaning of life AND what is meaningful - If you want to be great, then do something great
- 13.Ask yourself: Given the choice, would I rather be famous-and-miserable, or satisfied-and-unknown
- 14.Check, understand and accept that Whenever we try to impress others - our heart feels empty
- 15.Create Personal Power
- 16.*Why try fit in when you could stand out
- 17.Many times, Trying to Prove that You are the BEST is an INSULT
- 18.Take the lead
- 19.Try new activities
- 20. Use your compliments wisely
- 21.Explore new relationships
- 22. Re Create and discover yourself
- 23. Find the real friends
- 24. Find your talents and make it your strong suit
- 25. Don't be afraid to be a bad person – if you doing the right thing
- 26.Don't be ashamed of your failures
- 27.Just say no *– to things, demands and people, that does not make you feel good about yourself
- 28. Believe in yourself*
- 29. Be proud of your work
- 30. Create check-list to make you notice The Moment You Feel the Need To Impress others - Is The Moment You Need To Walk Away
- 31.Don't spend your life trying to prove people wrong AND Yourself right – it also falls in same category and it is worthless
- 32. Focus on things that actually matter.
- 33. Turn your life upside down – take new challenges that makes you come alive
- 34. Be vulnerable*
- 35. Ready to be unaccepted, undermined, or misunderstood
- 36. Continuously learning*, unlearning* and relearning*