Do you ever wonder Why so many of us Don't Do those things which we know are absolutely essential for accomplishing all our big aspirations, dreams and passions And are of immense benefits to us in long-term.
Sometimes We don't do these in spite of being aware of the detrimental impact of not doing these.
Knowing something and actually doing it are two very different things – in fact poles-apart.
In Bengali – there is a beautiful paradoxical word "Gyan-Papi". It refers to those people who have the knowledge and understanding BUT still go and do the exact opposite of what is beneficial to them [ Gyan is knowledge and Papi means sinner] .
We all know that we should exercise*, relax*, let go of past hurts*, learn the newer skills*, apologize and make up in our important relationships*, focus on happiness* etc. etc. – but how many of us put enough efforts, focus*, concentration* and persistence*.
Knowing, Planning, Creating Strategies are never the real problem – most of us manage these.
It is the taking-action – which is the most important YET gets least importance than strategizing.
Why Implementation so hard. How do we put knowledge into action - What's stopping us and how do we overcome it.
How to go from Can't-Do to CAN-DO - The answers are both simple and complex.
Let us first understand the difference between Doing vs. Not Doing vs. Pretend-Doing
The Pretend-Doing – is what many of have become master of and practice at wherever possible - many of us practice this at our works place, sub-consciously.
Pretend-Doing is the worst thing that anyone can imbibe in their psyche – because – it is an attitude that will pull us down to the bottommost level.
Pretend-Doing is When we do whatever we are supposed to do because
- 1.We are forced to do
- 2.It is the minimum that we have to do to avoid trouble
- 3.Just doing it without being involved in it
- 4.To pass the time
- 5.Doing it to show others that how busy we are
- 6.To show to others that We are the most sincere
How pretend-doers exist and manage to survive
- 1.They would acquire lots on information about the project
- 2.Read about various programs available to support
- 3.Would talk about a lot with many people
- 4.Have many meetings
- 5.Create very attractive sounding themes and names
- 6.Create large scale strategic plans
- 7.Create teams and announce the launch
- 8.Then get caught up with another new fad/project/urgency
- 9.Create magnanimous justification for starting new project and giving up the earlier one
- 10.Then they Repeat the above 1-8 cycle again
Reading, Acquiring-Information, Meetings, Talking are not bad if it leads us to implement the action steps to move towards our vision.
But in themselves [Reading, Acquiring Information, Meetings, Talking, Learning collectively or singly] - DO NOT TRANSLATE INTO DOING.
Doing is doing – there is no glamour in it.
That is why many who get the glory are not the actual doers BUT those who have mastered the art of creating nice impressions without doing.
Sometimes even though we want to do something – we get restricted by our CAN'Ts.
Many of our CAN'Ts stems from small things – few of them could be
- 1.Believing or Buying-in of our own lies [ like I am not capable, no one has done it before so how can I do this etc. etc.]
- 2.Our Fear* of unknown
- 3.Our absolute lack of idea about that thing
- 4.Our fear of failure*s
- 5.Our Fear of getting ridiculed
- 6.Our lack of confidence* ourselves
- 7.We don't believe that we can do it
- 8.Our past instances – when we attempted but could not succeed
- 9.Our lack of skills, experience, exposure
- 10.Lack of mentor*, guide, coach*
- 11.Our not being interested in this thing – lacking passion
- 12.Not knowing how to handle this difficult person* or situation
- 13.Fear of punishment
- 14.Afraid of rejection, of being alone, of being unloved
- 15.Afraid of looking stupid
- 16.Because of our EGO – we may feel it is below our dignity
The biggest challenge that we as an individual and as well as a leader face - In business
- 1.Organization hire consultants and introduce multiple interventions - these don't change anything at all [many times these could make things worse].
- 2.Because most of the bosses are satisfied with mere kicking-off/launch of the initiative* - the implementation loses stream
- 3.Many of these top-honchos are focus is to show how much value they are adding through introducing numerous highly attractive sounding and current vogue – these they manage to do to through making their people go through various training* workshops, coaching* programs and mentoring* conversations
- 4.Later the because the follow-through become slacks – the actual doers [with many of their own woes, targets, challenges and multiple distractions] – just do what is minimal and till it is noticed.
The biggest challenge that we as an individual and as well as a leader face - In personal life
- ðWe make great new-year resolutions, create vision-boards and action steps – but again in many cases give-up or change the goal frequently because of our not being involved meaningfully and not being passionate enough for our big picture.
If it is important to us, we will find a way. If not, we will find an excuse – an old wisdom.
When We are afraid – we invent brilliant excuses* to not only look good but also to avoid what we are scared of.
66 Ways on How to Start Being a Can-Do Person
In this article all *marked ones are the pointers that a separate detailed DIY blog is available on this topic in the Blog Section – from the Heart of Subhashis in Success Unlimited Mantra.
- 1.If we are stuck because of fear* – the only way we can beat it by doing
- 2.The only way to learn to do is to – just do it. Reading is definitely helpful if you are doing it in-between to clarify your doubts to get back to action ASAP
- 3.When we start doing something – we become aware of the gaps in our skills, ideas, knowledge, capabilities or the action-steps you have not figured out etc.
- 4.Then you learn and improvise and come back to take action to fill in those gaps, figure out the steps, and keep moving
- 5.If you're having trouble because of your fears – ask yourself - What are you afraid of, What do you think you are not capable enough for, What beliefs of yours is preventing you from doing something - Write all these down – Then create, brainstorm, seek advice ON HOW will to overcome these through writing action-plan
- 6.In-fact whatever you are afraid of – make it a practice of doing that very thing at least for some time every day – the trick is to feel the fear AND get comfortable in moving and taking actions while still scared
- 7.Understand that the moment you stick your neck out – you will fail. All of us do. We need to treat failure* only as a learning tool and then find ways to avoid this failure in future as well as learning to bounce back from it
- 8.Follow the process of act, fail, learn, adjust, improvise then get back to the brass tacks again
- 9.Learn to be comfortable* with being uncomfortable*
- 10.If you passionate about something AND you can't put even 30 minutes for that – the you are making an excuse – learn to see through our own bull-sh*t
- 11.Learn to be committed for all your passions* and dreams
- 12.Practice giving your 100%* in whatever you do
- 13.If something is important to you and you don't have a clue or have not found a way - don't give up* - tell yourself – I am going to develop the capability to handle this AND DO EXACTLY THAT
- 14.Learn to take calculated risks* - even when it is not warranted and everything is going well – by stretching yourself beyond your comfort-zone* - by taking responsibilities, hobbies, pursuits beyond you present capabilities
- 15.Ask yourself - How can I STOP being afraid of doing what I need to do – create few alternative ways AND how can I be ready for the Change*, what I need to learn or what habits I need to break and build
- 16.Changing behavior is happens through our focus on daily progress – byte-sized
- 17.Practice going for Excellence* and the outcome AND ditch Perfectionism*
- 18.Perfectionism prevents us from making grand progress
- 19.Create an habit of disciplined* actions on every day basis so as to create the right momentum
- 20. Have some basic routines – Habits and discipline* are so important for sustaining the momentum
- 21.Know when to be Flexible* and where to follow the established pattern
- 22. Also know when to give-up*
- 23. Stop Comparing* with others – it is the biggest injustice and insult you can do to yourself
- 24. Create power through empowering* yourself
- 25. Your big dream needs to be broken down into small actionable steps and put in a little amount of planning
- 26. All actions are towards smaller milestones to avoid feeling overwhelmed
- 27.Information bias
- 28. Avoid consciously to getting pull down by Information overload – where we seek and accumulate so much information that it paralyzes us into inaction.
- 29. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE between Seeking feedback[this is needed] AND Seeking validation[this will lead to your best of dreams getting derailed ]. Don't confuse between these two
- 30. For all the actions FOLLOW the six thinking hats process of why it will work and why it won't and what we need to develop/learn to do it
- 31.Start Adding "Yet" to Every Sentence That You Starts With "I Can't"
- 32. Remember all those times you thought you would never make it through – BUT - You did. So will be this time too. You need to remember that you will be okay
- 33. Don't wait for all the information to fall in your lap before YOU TAKE ACTION [it never will]. Start taking actions with 30-40% information AND REST you gather on the way - Great People Take Actions before they have full informations.
- 34. Cut out Toxic relationships, Bad jobs, actions that you do just for the sake of doing - They're all dead weights and we know it.
- 35. Focus* on future – let go of regrets*
- 36. Understand the basic reasons we put-off taking actions - We are afraid that we will screw it up [plan to prevent it] AND sometimes We are put something off because it's hard, boring, or otherwise unpleasant[ break it into very small actions taking few minutes and do it over a period of time]
- 37.If it is mandatorily essential and yet very boring – use Your Will-power* and the time you are so dull that mind won't object
- 38. Stop trying to do everything all by yourself - You Can't Do Everything and If even if You Try to You'll Do Even Less because you will be making yourself overwhelmed
- 39. One of the best strategy is choosing what not to do- because Only by choosing what not to do you will make space for other things that are most important
- 40. Always explore the choices and options available and Compare them to choose the best among them
- 41.Get second opinion from expert with whom you don't have any conflict* of interest
- 42. Pick one thing you want to accomplish today/this week/this month/this year
- 43. Any time you or someone you are with identifies a problem, do not end the conversation without brain-storming and proposing some fragment of a solution
- 44. We think we can't do it because it makes me uncomfortable - but Discomfort doesn't prevent accomplishment — it is a prerequisite for success
- 45. Nothing's guaranteed. Everything might fail – therefore be prepared for Failure and also to bouncing back mentally
- 46. Everything can be learned, It may take time, may take years, but it can be learned, There's no excuse to not know how any more.
- 47.Reading this post doesn't mean you can suddenly do the thing you want to do.
- 48. Accept and Learn From Your Mistakes*
- 49. Surround yourself with positive people
- 50. Evaluate what you're filling your mind with daily
- 51.Take action without expecting results.
- 52. Use setbacks to identify what skills* you need to master
- 53. Challenge your thoughts, assumptions*, perceptions*, beliefs*
- 54. Identify and Be grateful for a few of the things you may often take for granted.
- 55.Operate from your area of Influence – ask what in this situation is in my control
- 56. Build up your self-esteem – review all the good things that you have got going in your life and all your achievements to date. Include "minor" achievements too, such as learning to use the computer for sending emails, being able to cook simple dishes and playing basic tunes on the piano.
- 57.Learn to chill out and have fun. You too can also learn to see potentially stressful situations as challenges or opportunities and not as insoluble problems.
- 58. Say No* to unimportant things
- 59. Be nice to other people.
- 60. Don't rely on an outside source of positivity – make it relate within you sphere of control
- 61.Assume complete responsibility* and accountability* for your actions and decisions
- 62. Decide your responses to known problems ahead of time
- 63. Stop complaining* start negotiating
- 64. Develop humor* and start laughing
- 65. Be curious* and make learning a life-long hobby
- 66. Use your imagination* - Picture yourself being successful at your goal. Realize that changing your attitude is an ongoing process