Shattering Self-Deception: 19 Harmful Damages & 54 Tips to Break Free

How to Break Free From the Habits of Self-Deception

Pitfalls of Self Deception How to Identify and How to Break Free From this self-sabotaging habit

In this article, you will learn about the following

19 Serious Harmful Damages of Self-deception

42 Signs To Know If You Are self-deceiving yourself

54 Tips to Break free from the Habit of self-deception

How The Entire Country Is Self-Deceiving Itself – For Reverse Growth In Every Important Aspect Of Human Values

From time to time, each of us engages in some level of self-deception.

Irrespective of how it is used, self-deception is very harmful and dangerous, and self-sabotaging is its worst form, which is living in denial.

Self-deception shapes your reality and influences your choices, beliefs, decisions, actions, and outcomes - both positively and negatively.

At the core of Self-deception – is emotional insecurity which has a direct impact on your - self-esteem, self-pride, self-acceptance, and self-love- Lying affects emotions, leading to negative psychological consequences.

The sinister side of self-deception - People fall into a form of dishonesty to create an impression of living by certain values and principles - by simply going through the motions of appropriating and identifying with them – without committing.

Why we deceive ourselves – it is because of our deep-rooted emotional insecurities – we are scared to face the truth and deal with the pain of the consequences that will follow.

But only when you are able to acknowledge and accept - who you really are – you can use the underlying opportunity to change to create a meaningful and fulfilling life.

The Most Dangerous Kind of Self-Deception is overestimating your own abilities and being completely blind to your major weaknesses and flaws.

Some people spend their entire lives in self-deception or denial.

The situations or circumstances that they are denying - generally get worse with time.

The menacing Truth About Self-Deception- which is happening in India – people are fooling themselves into believing false things – and refusing to believe things that are true.

The Fake-news, the Evil propaganda-generating media, the ruling regime, the bureaucrats, and WhatsApp University are to blame for the most lowest form of moral values in India – where hundreds of thousands of people cheer and celebrate - when someone is stabbed, lynched by mob or rapists are paroled.

People are so thoroughly brain-washed through planned, and state-sponsored religious deception and fanatism – that there seems to be no hope of India ever becoming a global leader in - scientific innovations, quality of life, financial stability, a nation where REAL growth in education is happening, happiness, and health index is very high.

Self-Deception can trigger the tendency to take credit for desirable change and blame the undesirable change on others – at times it can take the form of – grandstanding, Whataboutery, or projections.

Self-deception is a cognitive bias triggered by the desire to look and feel great about yourself – when there is nothing to substantiate and that in itself is highly Dangerous.

Self-deception may begin as A little lie for some peace of mind or for the momentary pleasures of believing everything is great and that you are the greatest.

When Self-deception becomes part of your thought patterns and habit of mind – you start avoiding facing the truth – so that you can avoid the anxieties the pains associated with going against your core values – like embarrassment.

Many times, your Self-deception can also convince you of the worst things which may then trigger states of paranoia.

Self-deception can suppress your moral conscience and values – by effectively anesthetizing your guilt.

When you start to justify actions that go against your values and disobey your conscience – you will experience an uncomfortable state called cognitive dissonance.

Many people who have this disorder of Self-deception - surround themselves with people who say yes to everything and flatter them [of course for their own agenda].

Breaking free from very serious self-sabotaging Self-deception cannot happen overnight – as it is a gradual process, which requires patience consistent action, and course correction.

In this article I have given - the signs to identify if you are in Self-deception mode, the pitfalls of Self-deception PLUS how can you use simple practical do-it-yourself tips to break free from the vicious cycle of Self-deception.

42 Signs To Know If You Are self-deceiving yourself

1. Please use this list only to identify your Self-deception and not to judge others
2. You keep postponing taking action – about the most important matter – by making excuses
3. Someone smiles at you – and you that he/she has fallen for you
4. In your close relationships – you try to change your partner – without realizing your own faults – just blaming your partner or all the ills in the relationship
5. You start believing that there is a conspiracy in the workplace – because of this – you are not getting promoted and others are
6. You spend money on credit cards on things that you can't afford – when you don't have earning abilities
7. You are falling into debt-trap – without realizing
8. You take on all the extra tasks, working late nights and weekends. While she feels proud of your dedication –  it leads to burnout and resentment towards colleagues who leave on time.
9. You notice a toxic work environment developing but you tell yourself – that you don't have the power to change it
10. You agree to unrealistic deadlines or tasks without considering availability, leading to stress, missed expectations, and potential resentment
11. You abuse substances – and are addicted to them – BUT – feel that when your current miseries are over you will be able to get out of them
12. You are in an abusive relationship – but – you feel that your partner will soon realize his/her fault and the relationship will become rosy
13. You are applying and not getting any job – but you feel you are still the best fit – without finding out about and acquiring relevant skills
14. You overspend beyond your capabilities just to impress others
15. You believe your work is perfect and free from any flaw and thus you don't accept any criticism
16. You downplay your own most important unmet needs – just to please others
17. You avoid seeing your flaws clearly and as a direct result you are not growing in your profession, career, etc.
18. You may get to use the most unresourceful habits of - binge-watching, overworking, drinking, overeating
19. You more often make poor choices, decisions, and judgment
20. You are trapped in a vicious cycle of bad habits that keeps harming you in many areas
21. You are living the life of someone who is not you – you have lost all mental and emotional clarity about you
22. You often feel like a fraud
23. You have lost your ability to discern what is right and what is wrong
24. You fall for all types of propaganda easily
25. You believe in getting rich quick schemes and fall for it
26. People can take advantage of you and manipulate you easily
27. You believe in things without fact-checking and verifying the data and information
28. You also spread fake news lies and gossip
29. Your tendency to favor information that confirms your established beliefs
30. Your tendency to overestimate your abilities and your ability to control events
31. Your tendency to overestimate favorable outcomes
32. Your tendency to underestimate the time, costs, and risks of future actions and to overestimate their benefits
33. Your unrealistically favorable attitudes towards ourselves or those close to us
34. You are having bipolar-type expectations from yourself and others
35. You try to justify all your actions, choices, and decisions – even if they were wrong
36. You try to change others because you believe that once others change – all your problems will be solved
37. You see the other person as the problem - Making the other person out to be worse than they are and you to be better
38. You Feel hopeless, powerless, or constantly angry – most of the time
39. You most of the time focus on how you have been mistreated
40. Nowadays an even more Evil sinister form of the above is when people are talking about how some specific sect treated another sect – without any real evidence
41. Compiling evidence and keeping mental notes of all the wrongs you have received, etc.,
42. You keep Seeing the same pattern of problems repeat themselves in your life

54 Tips to Break free from the Habit of self-deception

1. Be objectively honest with yourself - Stop Lying to Yourself - because self-deception can stop you from achieving your personal, professional, business, relationship and social fulfillment.
2. Focus on increasing your self-awareness about yourself by actively monitoring your thoughts and behaviors
3. Acknowledge and accept all the uncomfortable truths about yourself
4. Seek different diversified external perspectives
5. Challenge your negative self-talk
6. Learn and do self-CBT to reframe and change your unresourceful thought patterns
7. Identify your assumptions and inner biases, excuses, and rationalizations
8. Understand your lacunae, weaknesses, fears, anxieties and insecurities well
9. Also know your strengths, competencies, positive qualities and strong suits
10. Understand your thought patterns and your emotional reactions
11. Identify and know your emotional mood triggers
12. Identify which mental habits obstruct and which habits make you grow and succeed
13. Also identify your limiting beliefs and routines
14. Challenge your limiting beliefs, assumptions and perceptions
15. Accept and love yourself fully with full awareness of both your positives and negatives
16. Identify your big picture and create a way forward by working backward
17. Learn to live your life authentically as per what makes you feel come alive, inspired, confident, blissful
18. Start becoming aware of when you are making excuses to yourself
19. Stop justifying your mistakes
20. Take full responsibility and ownership for all your actions and decisions
21. Understand that there will be consequences to every action, every choice and every decision you make
22. Accept that failures and mistakes will be there when you stretch yourself beyond your current capabilities
23. Accept that you will also make wrong choices and bad decisions
24. Face Your Fears Honestly - Understand that being brave and courageous is not about – not having any fear BUT it is about taking action toward your big picture – especially when you are scared to venture into the realm of unknown and uncertain
25. Learn to Challenge Your Comfort Zone – learn to enjoy the thrill of pushing your limits while you raise your bar
26. Set goals as per what you like to achieve and not based on societal expectations or expectations of others
27. Take full responsibility and accountability for all your choices, decisions and actions and all their consequences
28. Look for facts that might contradict your self-deceptive narrative.
29. Learn to be comfortable in being uncomfortable – accept and acknowledge your negative emotions
30. Accept your vulnerabilities
31. Get perspectives of people you trust - Share your concerns with close friends
32. Instead of aiming for perfection - Focus on growth
33. Accept that - you must not fool yourself—and that you are the easiest person to
34. If you want to be successful, you must Never lie to yourself
35. Commit to being fully honest with yourself – and be on the lookout for examples of your self-deceiving yourself – once you become aware then you will be able to address it
36. Schedule and engage in regular self-reflection to build self-awareness – to reflect on your fears, what motivates you - to understand the root causes that led us to start deceiving ourselves
37. Start to work on your self-acceptance to develop confidence – by believing that you are enough
38. Tell yourself that you don't need to prove anything to anyone
39. Train yourself to base your judgment and decisions on evidence-based data and facts
40. Train yourself to be mentally flexible and open to changing your mind about things as you obtain new information or perspectives
41. Become aware of situations when you start blaming others OR become defensive or start making excuses
42. Train yourself to think through thoroughly using the Slow thinking method – which involves taking the time to analyze information and make deliberate, reasoned judgments, rather than relying on automatic, unconscious processes
43. Learn to recognize the incidents of self-justification – because it only indicates that at some point you have acted in a way that goes against your deepest sense of what is right – because when you see clearly, you can then begin to look for little ways you can change your actions
44. When you notice signs of self-deception, take some time to try to get clarity – take actions from your area of control - Focus on trying to do a little better
45. Stop using others' actions as excuses for not doing the right things
46. Try to get multiple POVs on any important situation - ask yourself the question are you seeing this correctly – can there be other plausible explanations – then take one small action as per your values
47. Don't deny when you have been in the box – apologize and then move on
48. Identify and Return to Your Core Values -Face Up To Your Fears
49. Remind yourself why being honest is important to you
50. Work on forgiving yourself for things you feel guilty about
51. See a therapist if you're still struggling to be honest with yourself
52. Trust your gut if you think you're self-deceiving - Look for reasons you might be lying to yourself
53. Ask yourself how realistic your thoughts are -Keep an eye out for times when you exaggerate your own abilities
54. Try to view yourself from someone else's point of view -Get feedback from a trusted friend or mentor

19 Serious Harmful Damages of Self-deception

1. Self-deception will stop you from facing your – weaknesses, flaws and lacunae
2. Self-deception will reduce your capabilities and suppress your potential.
3. Self-deception will lead to unethical decisions and behaviors, such as bullying, intimidation, or harassment.
4. Self-deception can harm collaboration, and innovation – because of poor communications
5. Self-deception can damage your most closest and most important relationships.
6. Self-deception can make you get into substance abuse and can lead to various addictions.
7. Self-deception is detrimental to your mental health and emotional well-being.
8. Self-deception can result in glorifying certain people or ideologies – without any reason
9. Self-deception invariably causes Distorted perceptions and false self-image
10. Self-deception will make you lead a fake life and will lead to strained relationships and isolation.
11. Self-deception stops you from understanding others' perspectives
12. Self-deception does not allow you to connect with people on a deeper level.
13. When we deceive ourselves, we may develop an inaccurate view of our strengths and weaknesses, leading to overconfidence or underestimation of our abilities, impacting our performance and decision-making.
14. By denying our flaws or mistakes, we miss opportunities to learn from them and improve ourselves.
15. Based on false beliefs about ourselves or situations, we may make poor choices that have negative consequences.
16. Self-deception can lead to dishonesty and manipulation in relationships, damaging trust and intimacy.
17. By justifying harmful behaviors through self-deception, we may lower our ethical standards.
18. Constant self-deception can contribute to anxiety, depression, and feelings of guilt and shame.
19. When we actively avoid the truth, we may miss crucial information or opportunities to address problems effectively.