<p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Being sensitive and empathic is the best quality you can have</b> - because only then you can experience the full-thrill of happiness, bliss, love, romance, affections, meaningful-connections etc. etc.. <b data-redactor-tag="b">This also make you a blessing for those around you.</b></p><p>Being right type of <b data-redactor-tag="b">sensitive means that you have very high levels of emotional, social, spiritual intelligences</b> [ in fact real sustainable success, happiness and good relationship happens thru having 36 types of intelligences you can read in my blog named <b data-redactor-tag="b">types of intelligences</b>].</p><p>Unfortunately – <b data-redactor-tag="b">this world has more insensitive people than the sensitive ones.</b></p><p>If you are [like me] an empathic person, <b data-redactor-tag="b">who care for others, listen-attentively, gives honest suggestions, sincerely help others and can understand-</b>others-by-just-observing => <b data-redactor-tag="b">You are in for lots of</b> upsets, disappointments, troubles and pains of every kind <b data-redactor-tag="b">emotional, mental, physical, social, relationship and even financial.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">This blog is about those people – who just don't care about your feelings</b>.</p><p>If you can't avoid them - <b data-redactor-tag="b">then you have to learn the effective ways to deal with them – for your own well-being.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Emotionally mature people do not get disturbed by other's insensitivities.</b></p><p>There are other types of people who are very-very sensitive – <b data-redactor-tag="b">they take everything personally and get hurt and get offended very easily</b> [most of the time this is due to their deep insecurities related psychological disorders].</p><p>The popular claim that <b data-redactor-tag="b">women are more sensitive than men</b> – well – <b data-redactor-tag="b">is subject to debate</b>.</p><p>I have come across [which I guess many of you too would have] - <b data-redactor-tag="b">many highly insensitive women and highly sensitive men and vice-versa</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">5 typical possibilities exist in our relationships</b> - insensitive men vs. insensitive men, insensitive women vs. insensitive women, sensitive men vs. insensitive women, sensitive women vs. insensitive men, sensitive men vs. sensitive women.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Your chemistry</b> [here this word is meant towards the quality of relationship and types of problems between any two individuals] between any of the above 5 types [<b data-redactor-tag="b">except sensitive men vs. sensitive women</b>] would be stormy and stressful specially to the person with deeper emotional-issues </p><p>If both of them high ego – <b data-redactor-tag="b">constant fire-works would be experienced</b>.</p><p>In this article the focus <b data-redactor-tag="b">is on your Being insensitive to the actions of the people [who are always draining you through their insensitivities AND you can't get rid of and must live with</b> – like your boss, your children, your parents] - maybe <b data-redactor-tag="b">even your wife/husband if their insensitiveness are minor irritants</b> [because in spouse relationship the options of getting separated is exercised by many people].</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">In all other relationships [where you can live without that person being in your life –it is better to get out</b>].</p><p>If you have put in your maximum efforts [by doing the right things and explaining patiently again and again] - and still there is absolutely no regard, respect, understanding, recognition, acknowledgement of Your pains, hurts, insults – from this person.</p><p>And this person is still totally insensitive to YOUR PART and focuses on his/her part AND does not amend, make-up, correct his/her behavior => <b data-redactor-tag="b">this relationship is a coercive one.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">You will find many of our close relationship</b> [in the form of friends, family members, bosses and so-called well-wishers] <b data-redactor-tag="b">are Insensitive, Arrogant, Totally Self-centered and Judgmental</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">How to Deal with Insensitive People</b> [or those who never think about your feelings and emotions]</p> <ul><li>1.Understand them </li> <li>I.How people treat you is all about them and their personality, which reveals their real self in a subtle manner. You have to be intuitive enough to pick up those vibrations.</li> <li>II.People react to your personality, potential and work according to their own perception, capability and emotional intelligence.</li> <li>III.When people are rude - They could be struggling and anguished by their own frustrations and problems</li> <li>IV.When they are disrespectful – they could have been conditioned by disrespecting authority figures OR They could be doing it out of spite</li> <li>V.When they are indifferent – Their thinking does not go beyond their own needs, wants, pains – as they are self-centered</li> <li>2.Convey your hurts, talk to them - It is not easy in fact very-very difficult – sometimes impossible</li> <li>I.As They have never learned to respect the opinion of others - They can't see beyond their own hurts, which appear to be overwhelming for them. </li> <li>II.They would duck your questions and would even lie AND avoid discussion on any issue that they find uncomfortable </li> <li>III.They would not answer your questions and will remain silent OR give you silent treatment </li> <li>IV.Why because probably they have never experienced kindness from their close relationships.</li> <li>V.While handling these people - Never-never-never give up your own kindness. BUT ensure that you allow them to cross the healthy boundaries no matter what – don't let anyone abuse your Self-love and self-esteem </li> <li>VI.Don't depend on these people too much as only you will get frustrated</li> <li>3.Sometimes give them back </li> <li>I.Use strong words to convey what you have been saying softly – as most of them understand the language of reprimand better than polite requests</li> <li>II.Remind them how much you have done to boost their respect. </li> <li>III.If they withdraw into their shell, challenge them out ask them them to convey their grievances openly. This step may reveal the reasons of their insensitivity</li> <li>4.Don't stoop to their level </li> <li>I.When they're rude, don't think about fighting fire with fire. That won't get you anywhere. </li> <li>II.Instead, try to ignore what they're saying. It's better than wasting the energy it takes to think of a snide comeback</li> <li>III.Ignore rude comments - This could be hard to do if it's someone you have to see on a daily basis - Don't give them the satisfaction of showing you're hurt or angry. </li> <li>IV.Just pretend like they never said anything at all - try acting like nothing they say bothers you</li> <li>V.Resist the urge to fight to win the argument</li> <li>VI.Be polite even though you might be upset about how they've treated you – as it would in all probability be a waste of time for you</li> <li>VII.Be upfront - If their words really bother you, especially if it's a friend or someone you care about, find a time to tell that person how you feel</li> <li>5.Also Understanding Yourself Is the First Step to Understanding Others</li> <li>I.Observe, Observe, observe – yourself and other – how you and they react and behave in certain situations</li> <li>II.Learn to set healthy boundaries* - read my article on this</li> <li>III.We can't control other people's behavior - but we can control our responses to it.</li> <li>IV.Separate the Person from the issue</li> <li>V.Understand that only a very unhappy and insecure person would bully or intimidate others - often bullies are victims themselves</li> <li>VI.Someone who is angry is someone who doesn't know how to handle their suffering</li> <li>VII.Don't engage with them if possible -while you can't completely ignore them, you can certainly disengage by acting disinterested, or by stop to react</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Signs of Emotionally Unintelligent and people with low EQ</b></p> <ul><li><a name="card-1/"></a>1.You LACK SELF ESTEEM</li> <li>2.You are incapable of handling the effects of stress without hurting someone in the process</li> <li><a name="card-2/"></a>3.You raise your voice to make others follow your wishes – at times in public too</li> <li><a name="card-3/"></a>4.You aren't open to other's opinions – as you are only focused and involved in themselves and your own needs <a name="card-4/"></a></li> <li>5.You get defensive in almost every interaction</li> <li><a name="card-5/"></a>6.You can't remember people's names - During the initial introductions or greeting they are so wrapped up in what they need to say <a name="card-6/"></a></li> <li>7.You don't think before you speak – you react rather than respond</li> <li><a name="card-7/"></a>8.You ignore want others to behave with you nicely – but you, yourself hurt others</li> <li><a name="card-9/"></a>9.You can't control your attitude</li> <li><a name="card-10/"></a>10. You don't act present – you listen with the sole intent of replying fittingly</li> <li>11. You take everything personally</li> <li>12. You always get defensive</li> <li>13. You always have excuses and justifications for not doing something – that you yourself have agreed and promised</li> <li>14. You see yourself as powerless and compare yourself constantly with others</li> <li>15. You have a need to have things your own way</li> <li>16. You have Extreme fear of failure and fear about the future</li> <li>17. You are generally highly stressed and busy – yet you have Trouble starting or following through on projects</li> <li>18. You believe the world is against you - and you are never at fault</li> <li>19. You are self-centered</li> <li>20. You never Back down from an argument - because you can't bear to lose face</li> <li>21. You Get in Lots of Arguments</li> <li>22. You do Not Understanding How Others Feel</li> <li>23. You Think That Other People Are Overly Sensitive</li> <li>24. You Refuse to Listen and understand Other's Points of View</li> <li>25. You Blame Others for all the Mistakes</li> <li>26. You cannot Cope With Emotionally-Charged Situations</li> <li>27. You are prone to Sudden Emotional Outbursts</li> <li>28. You have Difficulty Maintaining Friendships and relationship</li> <li>29. You Lack Empathy</li> <li>30. You withdraw often</li> <li>31. You're jumpy</li> <li>32. Your pain tolerance is less.</li> <li>33. Change is extremely upsetting for you</li> <li>34. You can never distinguish between Critiquing, Criticism and well-meaning suggestions – feels like a dagger</li> <li>35. You have difficulty letting go of negative thoughts and emotions</li> <li>36. You Frequently feels physical symptoms headache) when something unpleasant happens during the day</li> <li>37. You often have bad days that affect your eating and sleeping habits in an unhealthy way -such as eating or sleeping too much or too little</li> <li>38. You are afraid of rejection, even in relatively minor situations </li> <li>39. You Compares self with others often (in physical, relational, social, work, financial, or other scenarios) -and experiences unhappy feelings from negative social comparison</li> <li>40. You Often thinks/worries about what others are thinking</li> <li>41. You find it difficult to let go - when triggered by relatively small unpleasantness </li> <li>42. You Feel hurt easily</li> <li>43. You would rather discuss negative emotions with others – instead of focusing on positives</li> <li>44. You have hard time accepting critical feedback - even when it's given reasonably and constructively</li> <li>45. You Often overreacts to real or perceived slights and provocations</li> <li>46. You Often feels awkward in group situations and feels unable to be oneself</li> <li>47. You Feel self-conscious in romantically intimate situations</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Signs of emotionally unavailable person </b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">A relationship with an emotionally unavailable person can be deeply traumatizing</b> – check from the following list, how many apply to your partner</p> <ul><li>1.Your actions to push for closeness may feel uncomfortable or scary to them </li> <li>2.emotionally unavailable people withdraw and say "no comment" </li> <li>3.They don't put the same effort into the relationship.</li> <li>4.Even if your partner says he/she loves you, his/her behavior and demeanor make you feel unworthy of love.</li> <li>5.Few of them can demonstrate bursts of real intimacy and passion - followed by periods of pulling back and coldness and criticism and negativity</li> <li>6.Difficulty Expressing Emotions and Feelings</li> <li>7.Resistant to Committing</li> <li>8.Acts Distant - Too Cool</li> <li>9.Inability or Unwillingness to Be Vulnerable</li> <li>10. Uncomfortable Discussing Emotional Topics</li> <li>11. Gets Defensive and Quick to Anger</li> <li>12. Suggests You Are Too Sensitive or Needy</li> <li>13. Quick to Blame Others</li> <li>14. Rarely Self-Reflective or Self-Aware</li> <li>15. Difficulty in showering their Affection and complementing others</li> <li>16. Disdain and Disinterested in Your Feelings and Needs</li> <li>17. Often Self-Centered and Needing Attention</li> <li>18. Either Overly Focused on Sex but Not Emotional Closeness OR Avoids Sex Altogether OR have sex simply to fill in the blank</li> <li>19. Inability to Deal with Conflict</li> <li>20. Wanting to Control you</li> <li>21. Fear falling in love and being emotionally intimate because of their fear of getting hurt</li> <li>22. Distrustful</li> <li>23. avoid intimacy with distractions</li> <li>24. uncomfortable talking about themselves and their feelings</li> <li>25. have secrets they are ashamed of which makes them feel Unworthy, undesirable or unlovable</li> <li>26. fear too many expectations and demands because of relationship</li> <li>27. play games and avoid conflict</li> <li>28. And they expect only you to work on the relationship – while they enjoy the goodies</li> <li>29. They shallow and are happy to keep conversations at superficial level</li> <li>30. They change the subject or make fun when you bring up something emotional</li> <li>31. You don't feel supported by them.</li> <li>32. They prefer to do things alone</li> <li>33. They tell you that you shouldn't feel a certain way</li> <li>34. They think they're expressing emotions, but they're actually not</li> <li>35. They don't talk about things that are important to you</li> <li>36. They're always telling you that you should look on the bright side</li> <li>37. They haven't been in serious relationships</li> <li>38. They don't like talking about tough issues</li> <li>39. They not affectionate </li> <li>40. They actually not available for their partners literally</li> <li>41. They don't respect your time</li> <li>42. They misunderstand you</li> <li>43. They call you intense</li> <li>44. They will call you oversensitive</li> <li>45. They will say that you are being judgmental </li> <li>46. They will say that you are ignoring them</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Should you find yourself with an emotionally unavailable person - you should ask yourself</b></p> <ul><li>1.How long are you willing to deny yourself what you want and need</li> <li>2.How long are you willing to let go of energy that is better served somewhere else</li> <li>3.Why don't you think you are worth more than that? And if you do think you are worth more than that, then what are you waiting for</li> <li>4.Understand that You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do – you cannot fix them or change them – they need to figure out whether they wish to change their behavior</li> <li>5.And if they don't or aren't willing to change, you're way better off putting your energy someplace else, or with someone else.</li></ul> <p><span>Read My Blog in relationshipandhappiness.com- </span><b data-redactor-tag="b">Signs You Should Seriously Think Getting Out of this Relationship</b><span> – click <a href="http://relationshipandhappiness.com/should-you-end-your-relationship.html">http://relationshipandhappiness.com/should-you-end-your-relationship.html</a></span> </p>