In this article you will learn the following
- -12 Facts about Why We Feel Fear
- -10 major common fears
- -24 techniques to help you handle your most fears effectively
- -Understand what are the biggest 5 regrets
How to conquer fear and make fear - fear you
12 Facts about Why We Feel Fear
- 1.When we conquer our fears - we attain un-imaginable level of success, happiness & relationship.
- 2.If you are feeling too scared to do something – chances are - it is beyond your current capabilities and mental-frame.
- 3.Experiencing fear in dangerous situation is not only normal but also helpful in protecting us.
- 4.Many times it creates - the Flight, Freeze or Fight - instant-auto-reflex-reaction-action.
- 5.Fear also makes our mind alert and ready for action.
- 6.Fears also indicates - a much larger opportunity for us - because if we are able to overcome our certain fears - our abilities also grows by leaps and bound.
- 7.Also many times - many of us get paralyzed into inaction - because of our fear.
- 8.Our inaction mode - stops us from taking - the most crucial first-step – And in most instances - the first step - diminishes our fears and also creates the momentum to go forward.
- 9.Many of us get limited - by our fears - otherwise we could have used more of our immeasurable potential and accomplish beyond our wildest dreams.
- 10.If you list all your major fears right now & then look back at your last year – chances are none of what you feared - would have occurred.
- 11.As per the statistics - 60% of what we fear never happens, 32% of our fear is because of our past experiences - ONLY 8% of our fear is real.
- 12.Then out of this 8% real-fears - more than 50% is not within our control [like dying] & the rest 50% can be handled by skill-upgrade, preparations and practice.
10 major common fears - which many of us would have - although all of us may not have all of them
- 1.Fear of making mistakes
- 2.Fear of being disliked by others
- 3.Fear of what others think of us
- 4.Fear of looking weak
- 5.Fear of unknown
- 6.Fear of being rejected by others
- 7.Fear of failure
- 8.Fear of public speaking
- 9.Fear of speaking our mind & sharing our inner most feelings & thoughts
- 10.Fear of insects, reptiles, animals
Then there are phobias – which are - magnification of fear by exponential degrees - with the threats getting greatly exaggerated or their being nonexistent.
For example - it very natural to be afraid of vicious dog - BUT - to be terrified of a friendly-dog on a leash - could be a sign of phobia.
24 techniques to help you handle your most fears effectively
- 1.Basic clarity about our fears
- I.In case of fears which have transformed into something debilitating - we need to seek the help of professional experts.
- II.I am a firm believer in - identifying and working on fears - to eliminate and reduce - irrational action-inhibiting fears - by taking real-time actions.
- III.Facing our fears and still taking action - is the best antidote of fear - instead of going for identifying the causes of what created & instilled- fear in you.
- IV.Understand that fear & anxiety plays a very important and vital role in our lives.
- V.Without any fear only - we will fail miserably - due to overconfidence or carelessness
- VI.Without the fear of law and order - anarchy will rule the world - which is happening right now in many countries - because the criminals are getting protection and encouragements from many governments
- VII.Fear is a major positive contributor - in our growth and development
- VIII.When you are feeling scared – it is sometimes advisable - to do nothing
- 1. Identify and note down - when, who and what triggers your fear – the specific situation, the specific tasks and the specific people
- 2.Make a list of your major fears - you can also create categories of fear
- 3.Focusing long-term - identify the big pay-offs or benefits - of overcoming all major fears – create a list which is exclusive to each of your major fears and anxiety causing triggers
- 4.Now focus on a future-event - that is making you anxious, nervous and scared - identify the following
- I.If you are getting scared of unknown – identify all the possible ways – it can go wrong
- II.Create all possible worst-case scenarios
- III.Using the creative problem solving techniques – design smart action steps that you can start implementing right now
- IV.If any of your similar past experience is causing uncertainty & doubt in you - then create a plan how & what you will do differently PLUS identify in how many ways you have become wiser
- V.Identify all your heartbeat-stopping - scenarios
- VI.Then workout and create multiple solutions - to each situation
- VII.Learn, prepare and practice– till you are most comfortable with this task
- 5.Share your fears with your mentors & people who care for you openly
- 6.Identify others who have faced similar situations & ask them what fears they had & how did they handle it.
- 7.Start challenging yourself slowly by doing things that are scary to you but otherwise safe like – rappelling, rafting, climbing mountain etc. - initially you can do small things then graduate to doing difficult things to say fire-walk, bungee jumping, para-jumping etc. – always under expert's guidance and supervision
- 8. Join a group of people – who always challenge themselves + read about
- 9.Watch movies about real people who overcame their fears - like the movie "the walk"
- 10.Learn & practice EFT – the emotional freedom techniques
- 11.Learn the art of future pacing - as given in NLP the neuro linguistic programming
- 12.Practice visualizing you succeeding in the things you fear - all the future events you are about to encounter
- 13.Learn and anchor - powerful emotions in yourself - this is again a NLP technique - to be triggered when you are feeling scared
- 14.Use NLP Modeling technique - following your role-models and experts on how they do it
- 15.Start sharing your fears openly with trusted people, groups and forums - Accept that fear is a natural emotion & feeling scared and sharing that you are afraid with trustable people does not make you weak – on the other hand sharing your fear actually would reduce the effect of your fears
- 16.Get in the company of people who are positive & who never give up without trying because of fear
- 17.Drop your ego – Don't try to impress others with your false - to show-off your fearlessness - it is more damaging especially if it is faked
- 18.Learn to control the breathing and relaxing your stomach muscles - as in the case of acute-fear - relaxing the stomach-muscle and changing your breathing-patterns to slower and controlled ones - puts you in control
- 19.Learn & practice meditation - to self-reflect and get comfortable with your fears
- 20.Identify and find your pressure points at the back of your neck & head. Learn to message them through fingers till you feel good - at the time of fear as well as after that initial phase is over
- 21.Start taking challenges and keep on raising the bar on difficulty-level - to increase your toughness and resilience level
- 22.Volunteer for those task which involves risk
- 23.Seek out proactively - those dreams - which thrills as well terrifies you - then take the first step - after that it is to keep the momentum
Understand what are the biggest 5 regrets identified by Bronnie Ware - an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last days of their lives.
You will find that - the biggest regret is not what people did - most of them have listed their biggest regret as something they did not do because of lack of courage or due to fear.
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She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called inspiration and chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called the top five regrets of the dying.
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard for materialistic possessions and spent time creating memorable moments
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
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