How to be Yourself

In this article you will learn

• -The benefits of being Yourself and why we wear mask
• -17 harmful impact of our emotional-Insecurities in our life
• -80 tips on breaking-free from all our pretenses, our false-self, our-façade, our-mask

How to be yourself all the time – the authentically you. How to be the real you

How to discover the joy of knowing yourself. How to be comfortable with being yourself

When we understand and know who we are – we have the clarity about what we need to do to get where we want to reach.

But when we don't know ourselves – we start looking at others – to look for their validation, approval, appreciation and acceptance.

Once we know ourselves - we will understand our purpose - will create bigger impact on the world.

So why we ignore the warmth, the security, the feel-good feelings of being authentic - and hide our true selves.

Many of us put on a mask — to cover-up our faults, weaknesses and insecurities.

BUT after a while -that mask starts developing cracks – as no one can live comfortably in somebody else's skin.

You might wonder why it is so hard to take our mask off – the primary reason is that authenticity - can be painful.

Because understanding yourself can mean recognizing your shortcomings and putting them on display for world to judge.

This is very-very tough thing to do as it requires real conviction, real courage, concentration and introspection.

Emotionally-insecure people can never be comfortable with who they are -as a result there-of they will have a miserable existence with low self-esteem, fragile self-confidence BUT they will have extremely high EGO.

Emotionally insecure people also would find it difficult to feel at ease even their closest relations – as they would be constantly projecting their own - self-doubt, fears, suspicions etc. on everyone.

There's no doubt that belonging to communities, groups, circles - is important.

But equally important is being comfortable and confident with Being who we really are AND living our life the way we want it.

Insecurity causes many types of fears -although most of our fears are self-imposed.

17 harmful impact of our emotional-Insecurities in our life

• 1. People pleasing tendencies
• 2. Have a deep need for recognition, acceptance, approval and appreciation from others
• 3. Won't be able to express your views, opinions, wishes, desires – openly, frankly, honestly
• 4. Will have difficulty in asking for help or favors
• 5. Will have difficulty in accepting appreciation or praise
• 6. Will have difficulty in say no to others
• 7. Will make wrong choices
• 8. Act against your values under pressure
• 9. Will keep sulking, feeling hurt, nurse grudge – because you have acted against your will and values
• 10.Will keep reflecting what others said and magnifying and twisting it to a largely imagined disaster from nothing
• 11.Living our life as per other's whims, choices and wishes
• 12.Will have fear of rejections in big way – and to minimize this would compromise with many things in life and it would actually make us indulge in many self-destroying actions
• 13.Have the following damming beliefs
• I.That I am not attractive, smart, intelligent or competent – there is something weird about my body, face, posture and any other physical attribute
• II.Feel that if I express my views – I would look awkward, stupid or overly emotional
• III.Feel that I can't afford to offend others
• IV.Feel that if I ask for what I want and need I will be considered self-centered and selfish

80 tips on breaking-free from all our pretenses, our false-self, our-façade, our-mask

• 1. Be quiet – sit – in a quiet place with least distraction
• 2. Go deeper and Introspect – by asking yourself these uncomfortable questions
• I.What weaknesses are preventing us from achieving what we want
• II.What habits are pulling us down
• III.What thought patterns are creating havoc in our life
• IV.What weaknesses we must overcome to become more effective, impactful and meaningful
• V.What qualities will make us feel confident and powerful
• VI.What skills we need to imbibe to excel in life
• VII.What are our fears
• VIII.What we are insecure about
• IX.What makes us stressed and creates tension in our life
• X.Which relationships – we must let go
• XI.Which relationships we must nurture
• XII.Which new relationship we must form
• XIII.What we can do to live a life that we want – AND – why we are not living that life right now
• XIV.What are our strengths – that we must polish to get better results in life
• XV.What qualities, habits, attitude we must have to be more successful
• XVI.What of the past we must learn to let go
• XVII.Then find what you are good at and passionate about
• XVIII.What you keep doing although your heart is not in it and neither you are good at
• XIX.What of your aspirations are not realistic
• XX.What do you fear about leaving a bad-boss, bad-job or a toxic or draining relationship
• XXI.What do you believe is the meaning of your life
• XXII.What are the benefits of being your-true-self
• XXIII.What are your limiting AS WELL as empowering beliefs
• XXIV.What are your best accomplishments in life
• XXV.Which areas you feel successful
• XXVI.Who do you admire - Who inspires you and why
• 3. Ask for feedback – from real well-wishers
• 4. Have the courage and subjectivity to find what are of real value to you
• 5. Simplify your life – make your needs and wants easy to acquire
• 6. Commit to doing a challenging task
• 7. Take risk which makes you go beyond your capabilities and Stretches you beyond your comfort zones
• 8. Seek advice and Ask for help – in case you find you are unable to do something that you desire badly
• 9. Try Something New and very-very different
• 10.Express yourself truly – and stop using I am fine – if you are not
• 11.Get Comfortable with Your Flaws – in fact try to find how can you make them your unique strengths
• 12.Make yourself comfortable – with uncomforting feelings of uncertain, unknown, scary
• 13.Be okay with disagreements – if what you express is controversial
• 14.Be honest with yourself and Stop lying to yourself
• 15.Challenge yourself whenever you try to justify your actions or inactions
• 16.Be open to people not approving your points of views - Stop seeking approval
• 17.Use failure to fuel your passions
• 18.Make the decision to be happy now – doing what you have been planning yet putting-off
• 19.Discover your core values
• 20.What you enjoy doing when no one is watching
• 21.What activities makes you feel better and lights you up with joy
• 22.Understand these basics
• I.At the core of our desires is living a life of purpose and meaning.
• II.At the core of a life of purpose and meaning is being of service to others.
• III.At the core of being of service to others is finding peace and happiness.
• IV.At the core of finding peace and happiness, we discover who we are.
• 23.Break from internal harmful thought processes, i.e., critical, hostile attitudes toward self and others.
• 24.Experience your emotions, but make rational decisions when it comes to how you act.
• 25.Create goals those that leads you towards your big-picture
• 26.Formulate goals and take the appropriate actions to achieve them.
• 27.Be proactive
• 28.Practice assertiveness – for internally as well as externally AND Learn to say no
• 29.Seek equality in your relationships – adult to adult – with respect but without fear
• 30.Be open to exploring new ideas and welcome constructive criticism.
• 31.Empower yourself by taking full responsibility of your life
• 32.Practice Compassion, Gratitude and Generosity
• 33.Nurture people who lift you up
• 34.Stop being agreeable for the sake of appearing to be a nice person
  Be nice, be respectful, be a kind person - but if you are not enjoying someone's company you should leave
• 35.Stop comparing yourself to others
• 36.Start visualizing - on what would make you happy
• 37.Set standards for YOURSELF – then ensure that you compete with yourself alone and make yourself better on a continuous basis from who you were in the past
• 38.Start Focusing on your own health and happiness and also of your most loved ones
• 39.Realize that you are a unique person, make yourself the best in what is your USP
• 40.Do the things you love
• 41.To feel truly comfortable with yourself you must know who deserves your support, love, kindness and respect - and who does not
• 42.Instead of seeking attention - focus on creating excellence
• 43.Always ask for what you want - because If you don't ask you will never know
• 44.For inner-satisfaction – always Honor your commitments and promises
• 45.Never promise what you can't deliver
• 46.Learn to be comfortable with people who have different opinions that you - it is perfectly alright to have different opinion than others
• 47.Understand that everyone in this world goes through their own phases of sufferings and that everyone makes mistakes and everyone faces disappointments
• 48.Set clear boundaries around you for others – so that you treat you with respect
• 49.Learn to let go
• 50.Create space for yourself – have some quiet ME time
• 51.Operate only from your area of control
• 52.Stop Judging and guessing – first verify then believe
• 53.Increase your knowledge and competence – then always challenge the experts
• 54.Forgive others for your own sake – get rid of all your thoughts of revenge and vengeance
• 55.Take responsibility for your life - for all your decisions - for all your actions - and for all the consequences
• 56.Pick Up new Hobbies and Learn New Skills
• 57.Share and express yourself, exactly the way you feel
• 58.Do Something Crazy [ensure that it is safe, legal and mature and does not hurt anyone physically or financially
• 59.Indulge in your impulses - without feeling guilty, Embrace Spontaneity – time to time
  Change Your Perspective - reframe your assumptions and beliefs through reframing,
• 60.Embrace your innermost and deep fears - by doing the same very thing that you would love to but are scared
• 61.Spend quality time with your loved ones
• 62.Give yourself the love - you would give to someone else
• 63.Avoid those who bring you down
• 64.Start making the changes you know you need to make
• 65.Explore new ideas and opportunities - turn your life upside down
• 66.Listen to your intuition
• 67.Understand that You are not expected to be perfect and that you don't have to prove anything to anyone
• 68.Commit to doing one nice thing for yourself every day
• 69.Be comfortable in being honest, transparent and being vulnerable
• 70.Stand Up for Your Values - Stand up for yourself
• 71.Stand up for others who can't do it for themselves
• 72.Improve yourself by improving the lives of others
• 73.Never try to be like others - only inculcate their qualities that you admire
• 74.Let go of the need to be loved by all AND satisfying everyone
• 75.Understand that Finding yourself is a journey - not a destination - A lot of it is trial and error
• 76.Make laughter a bigger part of your life, read
• 77.Stop trying to fix your past - instead focus on living and taking action towards creating the future you want
• 78.Learn the difference between intimidating, sarcastic, or conniving comments and well-intended constructive criticism
• 79.Develop and follow your own style
• 80.Question your assumptions about who you believe you are supposed to be AND Understand that You don't have to be like everyone else

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