How to Be Elegant

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Have you ever been in any of the following situations?

  1. Where you saw someone facing a daunting or awkward situation or a particularly difficult person – and handled the situation in such sophisticated, elegant refine, suave and polished way to make you feel totally awed and wowed.
  2. Or you have seen someone commit a mistake– yet came out of that blunder in flying colors – by maintaining perfect calm, cool and dignity
  3. Or in some embarrassing situation /faux-pas – and this person was able to handle it so diplomatically, so as to not only impress you but also earn the admiration of others

I have been through many-many such situationsfew forced upon me by the circumstances or other people + BUT + most brought on me by my own insecurities, anxieties and stressors.

And Having failed in most of these settings – and – in hindsight while reflecting, I could discover many better ways I could have handled the situations and persons, more effectively.

That is why, Whenever I come across someone handling an uncomfortable, unknown, uncertain scenarios – effectively and positively - I always wonder how the hell they have learned this art of remaining calm and composed.

All of these people exude class, style, elegance, sophistication, polished etiquette, grace and finesse.

Over a large period – I have also realized – that being elegant, is more about your internal hardware, software and the pulses than on any external tricks.

That is why finding the sustainable solution – too lies in working on your own thought-process, beliefs, attitudes, reaction vs response practices, learning to handle stress better and creating a mind-map to deal with the uncertainties in better, more positive and meaningful ways.

Unfortunately, many people fall upon the external elements to show elegance by blowing tons of cash in expensive apparels and accessories and or working on building a perfect hourglass figure or chiseled physique or have all the luxuries in the world to look classy.

Then there are those people who learn – the feel-good tricks. But these tricks vanish – the moment a hard nudge knocks them.

Classiness is about being refined, about carrying yourself with grace and doing things with panache.

It is about how you present Yourself, Your social etiquette, Your values, Your Hobbies and Habits, Your Passions, Your Caring nature, Your Helping attitude, Your accomplishments.

All these go on to add to Your Swish & Your Swag.

Understand that Elegance is a state of mind, period.

The following 84 ways to make you feel, look and behave elegantly – [all the *marked ones have a separate DIY blog in success unlimited mantra in from the heart of Subhashis]

  1. Choose Your Friends carefully
  2. Avoid insecure, boisterous, show-off, controlling, spoilt people. They would always create situations you find difficult to handle and uncalled for
  3. Choose to be in the company of polite and positive minded people who encourage you, your passions and uplift you
  4. Stand up for those people who cannot stand for themselves
  5. Ignore the rude persons
  6. Concede the ground, when you realize you are getting sucked into an argument – winning argument and losing a customer never gains anyone anything ever
  7. Set clear boundaries* around you
  8. Be assertive* to claim your rights
  9. Never let anyone disrespect or take advantage of you – use assertive techniques to handle these difficult people*
  10. When someone is angry and making nasty comments – practice developing thick skin and remember not to stoop to their level and make match of nasty to and fro comments
  11. Never ever be part of gossiping and talking-behind people
  12. Learn and practice Good Hygiene
  13. Speak Politely
  14. Be humble – ditch your EGO*
  15. Learn to be a Professional*
    Communicate* using The Words Wisely – keep it simple
  16. Develop a sense of humor*
  17. Listen* more - Practice looking people directly in the eye as it will help you establish a position of confidence in the minds of others
  18. Ask even more – open ended question*
  19. Learn about other cultures and Follow Etiquette
    Be Yourself*
  20. Learn to love yourself unconditionally*
  21. Be respectable*
  22. Respect others
  23. Help others meaningfully - Engage In Good Deeds
  24. Work on and create Sophisticated Confidence* about yourself - Confidence only comes when you've done something over and over enough times and made enough mistakes that you finally learn how to do it right
  25. Accept your weakness and admit when you are wrong and make it up with apology as well as a good deed
  26. Admit your ignorance when you don't know something - you are not expected to know EVERYTHING
  27. Be a life-long learner*
  28. Do not worry about being interesting or TRY to be interesting. An interesting person is an person who is interested in others
  29. Pursue your aptitudes and talents. Seek personal growth, refine your knowledge and pursue your passion.
  30. Embrace change - Learn about things that increases your levels of sophistication.
  31. Read Read Read and Create your Interest and hobbies, around - Art – drawing, painting, museums, Literature/History, Languages and Culture, Theater, Plays, Music, Dance, Sports, Travel
  32. Raise Your Comfort With Luxurious ways of living and environment – so that you don't come out as gawking. This can be practiced even without your having financial means - To avoid being intimidated by luxury
  33. Ask yourself - What intimidates you - Eating at fine-dining restaurants, dining with very important people, going to elite/luxury stores - You could make a list of a few things and start address these fears one by one. Maybe you don't like dressing up fancy because it makes you feel uncomfortable?
  34. Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable*
  35. Learn to approach fear – make fear fear you*
  36. Make yourself an expert and be in the forums where the Big and powerful people are there – get over your fear by talking to them – asking questions to build your confidence level
  37. Work on your confident level so that you are never in awe of Beautiful, Intelligent, highly qualified, very wealthy, those who speak a language you are not well-conversant, famous people, seemingly very knowledgeable people etc etc
  38. Work on being comfortable with your own company and in silence
  39. Identify and take actions towards worthy and meaningful goals
  40. Respect and treat everyone equally
  41. Elegance and grace have nothing to do with the price of the clothes but how you wear them - Develop A classic style of your own
  42. Learn and master skills like dancing and playing musical instruments
  43. Learn a new language and practice it with the natives
  44. Learn to take the praise with dignity and thank others
  45. Always have a personal time
  46. Treat everyone with respect and admiration.
  47. Don't justify, if you feel right – instead assert your rights
  48. Stop comparing* yourself with others
  49. Start competing with yourself*
  50. Always apologize if you sincerely feel that you have wronged
  51. Speak with more clarity, slowly using simple words
  52. Polish and Master your strengths*
  53. Let go of your regrets*
  54. Don't waste time on social media – posting selfies and re-sending/forwarding quotes, videos and any similar thing
  55. Don't obsess over what everyone else is doing – work on Fear of Missing Out* - in-case you have this nature
  56. Never try to change another person's behavior – only work on yours
  57. Work on what is within your area of influence and stop bothering about things beyond your control
  58. Never ever show off or flaunt your wealth, your position, your power, your possessions
  59. Learn to say no to secondary and petty thingsFocus* and Prioritize* on what is most important to you
  60. Be yourself* Be Human and not try to be perfect
  61. Learn to Speak eloquently* and thoughtfully
  62. Simplify to amplify* your life
  63. Have a heart of gratitude, especially when you think that there's nothing to appreciate – because there is always something to be grateful for even in the most trying of times and circumstances
  64. Always go for quality over quantity
  65. Travel everywhere
  66. Stop being a drama queen - avoid airing your grievances to the world
  67. Don't constantly brag about yourself
  68. Be a good conversationalist* - Turn the attention to the other person
  69. Have high standard for yourself*
  70. Identify and live for your values*
  71. Be accountable and honest with yourself
  72. Stop judging others and creating assumptions and perceptions about others
  73. If  you do not have anything good to say – don't say anything
  74. Stop the feelings of your need to be superior
  75. Smile - A real genuine smile is the key to many things
  76. Learn to handle your Stress better*
  77. Focus on creating and leaving a legacy*
  78. Make your life a master-piece
  79. Learn to bounce back from failures*
  80. Turn crises into opportunities*
  81. Express Yourself* Fully
  82. Live Your Life as per Your Passions* 8
  83. Developing a Classy & Sassy Personality*
How to Be Calm
How to break through your limits