<p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Disappointments are mild temporary form of regrets</b>* [for what is not there BUT is/was desired highly that] that we have almost every day in some form of other.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">We feel disappointed when we</b></p> <ul><li>1.Don't get what we want</li> <li>2.When we get what we want – this happens when we have certain hopes about how a certain outcome would feel like AND it does not</li> <li>3.When we don't know what we want – and feel an unexplained void</li> <li>4.When we have unrealistic expectations from others</li> <li>5.When we attach our being happy or being worthy with other people</li> <li>6.When we have the perfectionist attitude</li> <li>7.When we only expect – without putting requisite efforts persistently till we achieve our goals</li> <li>8.When we expect people to read our mind without our ever expressing what we want them to do</li> <li>9.When we don't realize that failures*, rejections*, upsets*, sadness*, frustrations*, anger* etc. etc. are all indicators of - change* we need to make within ourselves OR to learn* or unlearn* a new skill* or habit* </li> <li>10. When we can't let go* and accept – what is</li> <li>11. When we compare ourselves with someone – in a manner that makes our comparison – like car with an apple</li> <li>12. When we focus on things that one can never be satisfied with however more they get like – power, fame, wealth, control etc. etc.</li> <li>13. When we are overconfident – being confident* is always desirable but overconfidence is a state which comes from insecurity</li> <li>14. When our expectations are in those areas which are beyond our control or influence in any way</li> <li>15. We are unable to deal with the situation in an appropriate manner</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">For any situation or person</b> – when we don't have an effective method to deal with – <b data-redactor-tag="b">we may turn to the unresourceful, ineffective and often self-harming techniques, tools or ways</b> – to overcome the feeling-bad emotions.</p><p>On the other hand, <b data-redactor-tag="b">our ability to deal with small nuisances, irritants and upsets of living life</b> – actually decides how happy, how strong, how successful, how peaceful and how blissful we feel.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">This ability has nothing to do with what magnitude of external factors are rattling us</b> – it is our natural response mechanism we have trained/conditioned ourselves to deal with these uncomfortable feelings and emotions.</p><p>In wholistic way – <b data-redactor-tag="b">all that bothers us – are the areas of development that helps us grow</b> into a better human being in profession, social, interpersonal relationship etc. etc.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">In this article we will go through simple, implementable and easy to bring into your habits</b> – steps of dealing with everyday Frustrations, Upsets and Disappointments.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">The negative ways to overcome or handle frustrations and disappointments</b></p> <ul><li>1.Eating binge</li> <li>2.Shopping splurge</li> <li>3.Smoking, drinking, drugs</li> <li>4.Ignoring</li> <li>5.Taking our frustrations on the hapless person to be around us</li> <li>6.Blaming ourselves</li> <li>7.Berating ourselves</li> <li>8.Gambling or risking without thinking</li> <li>9.Having one-night stand or fling</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">These negative methods never work in long term - in fact these methods actually make us feel worse, unhappier, more stressed etc</b>. [although initially and temporarily they may make us feel distracted to give us the illusion of feeling better].</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">And If we continue to seek comfort in these things – we get trapped in the vicious the cycle</b> - which may lead to more dangerous emotional and psychological conditions eventually.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Sometimes we may know that these are harmful – yet – we use them because these the only ways we know</b> of comforting ourselves.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">50+ Effective ways to handle daily disappointments, frustrations and upsets</b></p> <ul><li>1.Understanding that living in Denial Does Not Remove Disappointment</li> <li>2.Learning to Be aware – through </li> <li>A.Identify the reason you are feeling bad – because "……" did not happen or "….." did happen </li> <li>B.Accept that you are feeling bad</li> <li>C.Feeling the pain or any unresourceful emotion that is making you feel disappointed</li> <li>D.Understanding and accepting that feeling disappointed and frustrated is okay – but Victim mentality is not at all okay</li> <li><b data-redactor-tag="b">3.</b><b data-redactor-tag="b">Putting yourself in a better or resourceful mental state – through </b></li> <li>A.Immediate changing of mental/emotional* state</li> <li>B.Applying Little long-term techniques for feeling good</li> <li>C.Creating Healthy habits* for future handling</li> <li>D.Detaching yourself from your desire AND objectively identifying which part of your expectation(s) are causing these unresourceful emotions </li> <li>E.Reframing* your perceptions – example – you were expecting 99% after studying hard for a paper – but you got say 92% - So you feel disappointed. Here, your perception that studying hard = getting 99% might be misplaced as maybe you did not study the right way or that you studied the wrong chapters or that you studied without understanding the subject</li> <li>4.Understand that the outcome is not a setback – maybe you may need to improvise your methods or change your approach to get the results you want</li> <li>5.Focus on doing the best you can and giving your 100%*</li> <li>6.Learning to Let Things Go*</li> <li>7.Remember your being disappointed – does not make you a disappointment </li> <li>8.Understand that when we stretch beyond our comfort zones - disappointment will happen </li> <li>9.Refocus on moving on from the point you are at present with what you still got </li> <li>10. Adjust your expectations of perfection* – to that of excellence* and that of continuous improvement</li> <li>11. Take a break (and find other ways to reduce your stress levels as you move forward</li> <li>12. Exercise</li> <li>13. Shift your expectations – check if they are fair, reasonable, realistic – otherwise ditch them</li> <li>14. Redirect your thinking – from merely thinking – to taking action to improve the situation</li> <li>15. Start operating from your areas of control*</li> <li>16. Stop taking personally everything that others say or do OR don't say and don't do</li> <li>17. Stop assuming the reason of other's actions or words – instead verify and clarify</li> <li>18. Focus* on actions towards your goals* the goals8 themselves</li> <li>19. Be comfortable with creating and adapting changes pro-actively</li> <li>20. Instead of trying to change the world, change your focus</li> <li>21. Learn to change adversity* to victory</li> <li>22. Learn how to manage anger* effectively - identify your anger triggers – workout on how you can effectively handle next time – keep practicing</li> <li>23. Understand the math Great Expectations = Great Disappointments</li> <li>24. Create a backup plan in case things go wrong </li> <li>25. Learn to handle rejections*, criticism* and failures*</li> <li>26. Learn to handle difficult people*</li> <li>27. Make yourself immune to take frustrations and disappointments of others</li> <li>28. Get rid of toxic-people from your life</li> <li>29. In personal relationship – start living a life of co-creating-agreements [explicit and clear] RATHER than of expectations [as expectations are generally unspoken and unexpressed]</li> <li>30. Stop manipulating situations and manipulation*s by others</li> <li>31. Focus on those who love you</li> <li>32. Learn to love yourself*</li> <li>33. Whenever you identify a condition that is unreasonable or unhealthy, work to Redefine it in a healthy way </li> <li>34. <b data-redactor-tag="b">How will you deal with the following situations – FIRST FIND YOUR OWN METHOD [and if you need help then read our</b> detailed DIY Blogs for all the <b data-redactor-tag="b">*MARKED words in "From the heart of Subhashis" in Success Unlimited Mantra website as well as my other website RelationshipAndHappiness</b>.</li> <li>A.You didn't get the dream job you interviewed for</li> <li>B.You didn't get the raise you wanted at work</li> <li>C.Your well-planned strategy to create a perfect startup failed</li> <li>D.Your relationship with your romantic partner sucks</li> <li>35. Your disappointment is nothing more than a problem* that needs to be solved* - Ask yourself </li> <li>A.What's the real problem here that I must solve – to overcome my disappointments?</li> <li>B.What skills I have + I need to learn - that can help me make the most of this situation?</li> <li>C.What knowledge do I have + I need to get- that I might be able to use here?</li> <li>D.What tools do I have + I need to acquire - that could be helpful?</li> <li>E.What support can I potentially garner from others and from whom?</li> <li>F.What are my strengths, and how can I make the most use of them in this situation?</li> <li>36. Learn how to Calm* Yourself </li> <li>37. Look for Potential Opportunities* - in every frustrating situation</li> <li>38. Ask Questions* to Gain Clarity</li></ul>