Handling Disappointment, Upset, Frustration of Daily Life

Disappointments are mild temporary form of regrets* [for what is not there BUT is/was desired highly that] that we have almost every day in some form of other.

We feel disappointed when we

• 1.Don't get what we want
• 2.When we get what we want – this happens when we have certain hopes about how a certain outcome would feel like AND it does not
• 3.When we don't know what we want – and feel an unexplained void
• 4.When we have unrealistic expectations from others
• 5.When we attach our being happy or being worthy with other people
• 6.When we have the perfectionist attitude
• 7.When we only expect – without putting requisite efforts persistently till we achieve our goals
• 8.When we expect people to read our mind without our ever expressing what we want them to do
• 9.When we don't realize that failures*, rejections*, upsets*, sadness*, frustrations*, anger* etc. etc. are all indicators of - change* we need to make within ourselves OR to learn* or unlearn* a new skill* or habit*
• 10. When we can't let go* and accept – what is
• 11. When we compare ourselves with someone – in a manner that makes our comparison – like car with an apple
• 12. When we focus on things that one can never be satisfied with however more they get like – power, fame, wealth, control etc. etc.
• 13. When we are overconfident – being confident* is always desirable but overconfidence is a state which comes from insecurity
• 14. When our expectations are in those areas which are beyond our control or influence in any way
• 15. We are unable to deal with the situation in an appropriate manner

For any situation or person – when we don't have an effective method to deal with – we may turn to the unresourceful, ineffective and often self-harming techniques, tools or ways – to overcome the feeling-bad emotions.

On the other hand, our ability to deal with small nuisances, irritants and upsets of living life – actually decides how happy, how strong, how successful, how peaceful and how blissful we feel.

This ability has nothing to do with what magnitude of external factors are rattling us – it is our natural response mechanism we have trained/conditioned ourselves to deal with these uncomfortable feelings and emotions.

In wholistic way – all that bothers us – are the areas of development that helps us grow into a better human being in profession, social, interpersonal relationship etc. etc.

In this article we will go through simple, implementable and easy to bring into your habits – steps of dealing with everyday Frustrations, Upsets and Disappointments.

The negative ways to overcome or handle frustrations and disappointments

• 1.Eating binge
• 2.Shopping splurge
• 3.Smoking, drinking, drugs
• 4.Ignoring
• 5.Taking our frustrations on the hapless person to be around us
• 6.Blaming ourselves
• 7.Berating ourselves
• 8.Gambling or risking without thinking
• 9.Having one-night stand or fling

These negative methods never work in long term - in fact these methods actually make us feel worse, unhappier, more stressed etc. [although initially and temporarily they may make us feel distracted to give us the illusion of feeling better].

And If we continue to seek comfort in these things – we get trapped in the vicious the cycle - which may lead to more dangerous emotional and psychological conditions eventually.

Sometimes we may know that these are harmful – yet – we use them because these the only ways we know of comforting ourselves.

50+ Effective ways to handle daily disappointments, frustrations and upsets

• 1.Understanding that living in Denial Does Not Remove Disappointment
• 2.Learning to Be aware – through
• A.Identify the reason you are feeling bad – because "……" did not happen or "….." did happen
• B.Accept that you are feeling bad
• C.Feeling the pain or any unresourceful emotion that is making you feel disappointed
• D.Understanding and accepting that feeling disappointed and frustrated is okay – but Victim mentality is not at all okay
• 3.Putting yourself in a better or resourceful mental state – through
• A.Immediate changing of mental/emotional* state
• B.Applying Little long-term techniques for feeling good
• C.Creating Healthy habits* for future handling
• D.Detaching yourself from your desire AND objectively identifying which part of your expectation(s) are causing these unresourceful emotions
• E.Reframing* your perceptions – example – you were expecting 99% after studying hard for a paper – but you got say 92% - So you feel disappointed. Here, your perception that studying hard = getting 99% might be misplaced as maybe you did not study the right way or that you studied the wrong chapters or that you studied without understanding the subject
• 4.Understand that the outcome is not a setback – maybe you may need to improvise your methods or change your approach to get the results you want
• 5.Focus on doing the best you can and giving your 100%*
• 6.Learning to Let Things Go*
• 7.Remember your being disappointed – does not make you a disappointment
• 8.Understand that when we stretch beyond our comfort zones - disappointment will happen
• 9.Refocus on moving on from the point you are at present with what you still got
• 10. Adjust your expectations of perfection* – to that of excellence* and that of continuous improvement
• 11. Take a break (and find other ways to reduce your stress levels as you move forward
• 12. Exercise
• 13. Shift your expectations – check if they are fair, reasonable, realistic – otherwise ditch them
• 14. Redirect your thinking – from merely thinking – to taking action to improve the situation
• 15. Start operating from your areas of control*
• 16. Stop taking personally everything that others say or do OR don't say and don't do
• 17. Stop assuming the reason of other's actions or words – instead verify and clarify
• 18. Focus* on actions towards your goals* the goals8 themselves
• 19. Be comfortable with creating and adapting changes pro-actively
• 20. Instead of trying to change the world, change your focus
• 21. Learn to change adversity* to victory
• 22. Learn how to manage anger* effectively - identify your anger triggers – workout on how you can effectively handle next time – keep practicing
• 23. Understand the math Great Expectations = Great Disappointments
• 24. Create a backup plan in case things go wrong
• 25. Learn to handle rejections*, criticism* and failures*
• 26. Learn to handle difficult people*
• 27. Make yourself immune to take frustrations and disappointments of others
• 28. Get rid of toxic-people from your life
• 29. In personal relationship – start living a life of co-creating-agreements [explicit and clear] RATHER than of expectations [as expectations are generally unspoken and unexpressed]
• 30. Stop manipulating situations and manipulation*s by others
• 31. Focus on those who love you
• 32. Learn to love yourself*
• 33. Whenever you identify a condition that is unreasonable or unhealthy, work to Redefine it in a healthy way
• 34. How will you deal with the following situations – FIRST FIND YOUR OWN METHOD [and if you need help then read our detailed DIY Blogs for all the *MARKED words in "From the heart of Subhashis" in Success Unlimited Mantra website as well as my other website RelationshipAndHappiness.
• A.You didn't get the dream job you interviewed for
• B.You didn't get the raise you wanted at work
• C.Your well-planned strategy to create a perfect startup failed
• D.Your relationship with your romantic partner sucks
• 35. Your disappointment is nothing more than a problem* that needs to be solved* - Ask yourself
• A.What's the real problem here that I must solve – to overcome my disappointments?
• B.What skills I have + I need to learn - that can help me make the most of this situation?
• C.What knowledge do I have + I need to get- that I might be able to use here?
• D.What tools do I have + I need to acquire - that could be helpful?
• E.What support can I potentially garner from others and from whom?
• F.What are my strengths, and how can I make the most use of them in this situation?
• 36. Learn how to Calm* Yourself
• 37. Look for Potential Opportunities* - in every frustrating situation
• 38. Ask Questions* to Gain Clarity