<p>In this article – you will learn</p><ul><li><span>-</span><b data-redactor-tag="b">How the unhealthy state of having the feelings of no being good-enough and feelings of inadequacy can impact you and the people around you – a real incident</b><br></li> <li>-28 signs, symptoms and behavior-patterns who have deep rooted insecurities and personality disorders</li> <li>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">19 experiences, feelings and emotional-states - of People who feel inadequate </b></li> <li>-42 ways we can overcome the feeling of not-being-good-enough or being-inadequate</li></ul><p><br></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">Are you good enough - Why we feel inadequate <b data-redactor-tag="b">And how to Feel good being yourself</b> </b></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">How many of you have ever felt – that you are not good enough. </strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">I can bet that all of us would have felt this feeling of not being adequate enough, of not being good enough – many-many times in our lives.</strong></p><p>For <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">emotionally secured people –feeling of not being good enough or feeling inadequate passes-on</strong> as soon as their focus changes from this to more important tasks.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">But for people with deep rooted emotional-insecurities – this mental and emotional state of not being good-enough can drive their life choices in all aspects of their life</strong> like career, profession, relationships and how we relate with others in the world.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">When these feelings of inadequacy - of having low self-worth - of feeling helpless - of feeling stupid - of feeling powerless and of feeling guilt or shame or internal-rage </strong>—begins to create obstructions in our profession, career, relationship and socially and most important with our own identity – we need to seek help.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Actually when we are being fully ourselves – we are good – good enough.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Roots of inadequacy can be traced from childhood neglect to workplace harassment to abusive relationships to overly critical parents and humiliating-authority figures.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">In few cases they may also get ingrained in us because we never got the opportunities to experience positive experiences </strong>- like that of healthy competition and handling challenges which built-ups the feelings of competence and adequacy.</p><p>For some people it becomes the only reason and motivation to prove their worth every moment - Sadly for many people this pathetic condition may last their life-time.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Many of today's generation are living a life of constantly trying to do and be everything at the same time and to be to be good enough for everyone.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">This also can develop as FOMO</strong> – the fear of missing out - FOMO has been recognized by American psychological association as a psychological disorder.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">How an unhealthy state of not being good-enough or feelings of inadequacy can impact you and the people around you.</b></p><p>I am sharing a <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">real-life event of a person</strong></p><ul><li>1.I have had the opportunity of working-together in close proximity with one person for an extended period of time.</li> <li>2.My initial impressions though our interactions, exchanges and observations were - that this person has deep insecurities emanating from a traumatic past relationship and may have curable borderline personality disorder.</li> <li>3.The best part was that this person was totally willing to cooperate and take actions on the crucial elements those boosts self-esteem, self-worth, emotional-security.</li> <li>4.After a constant high exposure of "sincere and true" positive inputs PLUS many-many other interventions -over a period of six months - this person shared that he/she has been able to experience a life that he/she never though exists and that he/she feel very different and liberated – and that he/she has already severed his/her connection with his/her past].</li> <li>5.But surprisingly after a most recent event – where the experiences were even more exciting and enlivening [in person's own words]– some invisible trigger had all the previous behaviors of deep emotional insecurities came back in this person – and earlier self-accepted and liked good experiences vanished in seconds</li> <li></li></ul><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">So how does it really work</strong> </p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Compliments are wonderful to receive - of course - but then the receiver has actually got to believe and internalize them – emotionally secure people can take the compliments, praises and use them to reinforce their self-worth.</strong></p><p>People <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">who feel inadequate feel happy only at that moment </strong>[when the compliments are given] and then they fall back into their own quagmire - as believing in themselves and their own worth—is actually very difficult for them.</p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">Because they don't take actions needed every-day – to identify, recognize and reinforce the powerful, the positives and their strengths - without looking for immediate change.</strong></p><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">I have identified 28 signs, symptoms and behavior-patterns who have deep rooted insecurities and personality disorders </strong>[patterns mean repeatedly displaying same self-destructive behaviors] – these people are those who would need therapy and counseling at times for long extended period of times</p><ul><li>1.Unable to connect with themselves – cannot communicate nor identify</li> <li>I.What they are feeling</li> <li>II.What they are experiencing</li> <li>III.What they want - say - from a relationship or their partner OR in their life</li> <li>2.They usually perceive insult and hurt – from those behavior of others which were neither insulting nor in any way harmful to them - many of their such perceptions are formed from communications and actions of others - which were actually helpful and beneficial to them</li> <li>3.Unable to feel, recognize and acknowledge the hurt they are causing to others – even if these are explained to them – lack empathy</li> <li>4.Unable to identify - specific actions, habits and behavior that they need to change [that what should they start doing or what should they do differently] - if you ask them – when they have themselves accepted that they have made mistake(s)</li> <li>5.Unable to commit taking simple actions</li> <li>6.Unable to recognize their mistake</li> <li>7.Coming out with martyr or victim behavior – when someone points out [and they know] that they are wrong - to mask their feelings of inadequacies and insecurities</li> <li>8.Unable to apologize for their mistakes in specific terms for a specific mistake – they would just use the word sorry - as a blanket statement</li> <li>9.Usually are focused only on their own pain and need</li> <li>10.Sometime when things are going very well – their sudden impulsive behaviors – may hurts the other person or ruins a perfect moment or breaks a promising relationship</li> <li>11.Unable to work on themselves – at least consistently</li> <li>12.They will show their concerns – as if they are the most caring person [although they don't feel anything – they just parrot the words read and heard] </li> <li>13.When the other person in real pain[and have also have also communicated the same to them] – they would not pay any attention to him/her at all and instead they may come out with some of their [non-existence] pain which suddenly develops– and which they will magnify to show that they need more care than their partner</li> <li>14.Because they don't understand themselves [due to suppressing their feelings and emotions] – they just don't have any empathy for others</li> <li>15.Because they are scared to accept themselves as they are – they don't have compassion for others</li> <li>16.Instead of answering something uncomfortable and difficult – they will either divert the conversation or just plain ignore that</li> <li>17.They will be the first one to give you silent treatment by just stopping to communicate – without any explanations or reasons</li> <li>18.You can't have two-way conversations with them – where a rational dialogue is taking place with questions being asked and answered which are connected till there is change in topic</li> <li>19.You can never expect them to honor their commitment [which they themselves have made]– when you have explained something that they should not have done [which they accepted]</li> <li>20.They also have uncanny knack of answering your questions with questions of their own – thereby avoiding answering your questions </li> <li>21.They will [in a blink of second] forget all the efforts you have shown consistently of care, concern, help etc. etc. – and – will make you feel as if you have done some great injustice to them – in case you manage to infuriate them for some reason known to them</li> <li>22.They will carry all their perceived grudges, hurts and anger indefinitely as they replay any perceived nasty comment/actions of others over and over in their head AND also bring them up maybe months later</li> <li>23.This inner feeling of feeling helpless and inadequate - make them behave in all the manner described above and in many more passive-aggressive ways</li> <li>24.They will sub-consciously sabotage the relationship -Even though they say that they like the experience of the newer changes brought about by a person in their personal life [due to their deep-rooted fears of intimacy, earlier abuse and other conditioning]</li> <li>25.Because they don't value themselves - they have difficulty in understanding the value of a caring person's care, efforts, love etc.</li> <li>26.Because they don't put enough efforts[other than in initial phases] - they can't appreciate the efforts of other person has put in</li> <li>27.Because they don't have pride about their accomplishments - they have difficulty in praising others </li> <li>28.Because they don't know what they want - they can never plan for their special occasions</li></ul><p><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">For additional behaviors and signs read my blog on how to deal with manipulative people along with others blogs on insecurities, depression, self-esteem etc. etc.</strong></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">19 experiences, feelings and emotional-states - of People who feel inadequate </b></p><ul><li>1.Regular Anxieties - - even for small-small changes and day to day happenings</li> <li>2.A high level of self-criticism – which – would ultimately result into their blaming others + justifying + making excuses</li> <li>3.They have trust issues with others – because of their not having faith in themselves</li> <li>4.They have difficulty in receiving and accepting praise – limits their ability of expressing their affection, love and appreciation to others properly</li> <li>5.Have very low self-worth – even they might have accomplished bigger things</li> <li>6.Fear of rejection and failures – is relatively high to very high</li> <li>7.Feelings of being helpless and powerless – which forces them to either adopt a victim or a martyr mind-set</li> <li>8.Generally will have difficulty in saying no</li> <li>9.They may withdraw socially</li> <li>10.Can resort to regular Fault finding in others</li> <li>11.Whenever they have to do something in front of others – they will have Performance anxiety</li> <li>12.Their Craving for attention is a major driver for all that they do</li> <li>13.Irrationally high sensitivity to perceiving hurts</li> <li>14.Easily feeling disrespected, hurt and insulted</li> <li>15.Doubting themselves most of the time</li> <li>16.Try to accomplish too many things at once</li> <li>17.They just stop having fun</li> <li>18.Busy themselves in chores</li> <li>19.Comparing and focusing too much on the success of others</li></ul><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">42 ways we can overcome the feeling of not-being-good-enough or being-inadequate</b></p><ul><li>1.Have to start accepting ourselves as completely ok - with our weaknesses, failures, past mistakes etc. etc. </li> <li>2.We have learn to identify who we are and being comfortable being ourselves</li> <li>3.Once we feel comfortable with being ourselves - we need to build our capacity to experience positive feelings</li> <li>4.When we are able to accept and love ourselves – we can recognize, feel and experience the feeling love from our real loved ones – who care for us sincerely</li> <li>5.Questions to challenge and introspect ourselves objectively</li> <li>6.Recognizing whenever we get into wallowing in our inadequacies - that this feeling of not being good enough was learned – it is not a fact Developing a self-talk that tells us – we are good enough as we are – although we also need to work on our own self to make us better and better</li> <li>7.Generating self-inspiration through structured efforts – of actions, reading, watching and interacting with people who are themselves inspired and inspire us</li> <li>8.Constantly work on finding solutions and implementing these solutions - to our mental, emotional and physical states - instead of wallowing in your own inadequacies</li> <li>9.Giving ourselves new powerful positive labels – by linking our real accomplishments and achievements - to be able to say and back it up with real evidence – I am creative, I am brave, I have the ability to find solutions to every problem that I face etc. etc.</li> <li>10.Always remind yourself of where all you excelled – create and maintain a list</li> <li>11.Keep track of all your successes, triumphs and wins – however small they are</li> <li>12.Calibrate your expectations – recognize when we are getting drained to satisfy someone else's expectations</li> <li>13.Create your own power – read my blogs on how to be powerful and listen to my YouTube videos</li> <li>14.Pay attention to what lights you up – identify things that makes you talk about for hours without getting tired and those that make you feel come alive – these are your passions - ignite them</li> <li>15.Practice to - accept and feel comfortable with all the praise and compliments</li> <li>16.Learn to distinguish sincere praise and appreciation from flattery – ditch the flattery and the people who are trying to use you through using flattery</li> <li>17.Help someone who really needs it</li> <li>18.Surround yourself with powerful, energetic, enthusiastic and action-oriented people</li> <li>19.Stop comparing yourself with anyone else</li> <li>20.Learn to be yourself - if you want to have an intimate connection, bonding and relationship with someone - being open and honest about your thoughts and your feelings is a mandatory prerequisite</li> <li>21.Identify your wants and needs</li> <li>22.Practice self-care</li> <li>23.Recognize your strengths and work on maximizing them</li> <li>24.Nurture positive relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself</li> <li>25.Learn and practice assertiveness and learn to say no to all negative demands and people</li> <li>26.Start trusting your loved ones</li> <li>27.Become curious about people and yourself</li> <li>28.Accept that everyone makes mistakes – and tell yourself that whenever you make mistake – you will correct them</li> <li>29.Ask for feedback and then show the person that you have taken action</li> <li>30.Find people who support you</li> <li>31.Celebrate your achievements</li> <li>32.Focus on excellence – let go for the urge to be perfect</li> <li>33.Listen and broaden your scope</li> <li>34.Learn to be vulnerable</li> <li>35.Read, read, read – broaden your knowledge and awareness</li> <li>36.Identify your skills – master that AND make that something to demonstrate say through YouTube videos</li> <li>37.Teach others what you are good at</li> <li>38.Volunteer for good cause</li> <li>39.Take plenty of rest, vacations </li> <li>40.Travel to places which have different culture</li> <li>41.Learn, learn, learn – newer skills, new qualifications, acquire knowledge</li> <li>42.Join social and professional forums – where you can share your own struggles and how you overcame them</li></ul><div><br></div><p> </p><p>#areyougoodenough, #whywefeelwearenotgoodenough, #reasonswhywefeelinadequate, #notfeelinggoodaboutyourself, #howtosatrtfeelinggoodaboutyourself, #areyouemotionallyinsecure, #howtobeemotionallysecure, #gettingridofdeeprootedemotionaalinsecurities, #youaregoodenough, #youaregoodenoughbeingyourself, #rootcauseoffeelinginadequate, #highlevelsofcriticism, #badimpactofnotfeelinggoodaboutyourself, #highlevelsofaggression, #havingtrustissueswithselfandothers, #cravingforattention, #wantandneedattentionfromothers, #symptomsandbehaviorpatternsofpeoplewithemotionalinsecurities, #haveperformanceanxieties, #acceptingandlovingyourself, #beopenandvulnerable </p><p></p>