All of us can win in life Big-Time.
If only we are able to push past our struggles, our conflicts and our demons [those are sitting in our way] and move forwards towards the success, growth, prosperity, happiness and relationships that we deserve and desire.
Look at your life as it is right now and check what fits with your life
1.Are you struggling?
2.Are you scared? Are you failing [in studies, in relationships, in business, in your job, in your profession etc etc]?
3.Are you at your wit's end and Can't see any solutions?
4.Are you stuck big-time and see no way-out?
5.Are you facing financial doom/bankruptcy?
6.Are you caught in catch-22 and must-decide-situation?
7.Are you suffering from overload of guilt, stress, shame or any other killing emotion?
I have experienced all of these many-many times than I can remember in my life so far – and I am still squirming under few of them at present.
Because of my own life - I have been struggling to find the answer of"what to do to come out of these life-stopping => spiraling-and-cyclic phases.
The answer came to me in one of the most unimaginable ways - when the other day I went to the market - and I saw a man wearing a T-shirt with printed on it the words "IN THE END – IT'S ONLY YOU vs YOU".
Something clicked as This made sense Powerful-Profound-SENSE – so profoundly simple YET not at all understood by me - till barely a week back.
Yes situations, circumstances, events and few people can be overwhelming, overpowering, shaking and shocking.
And many of these happenings might be just beyond ours or anybody's control.
Sure we can and often we do - blame it on our luck, other people, government etc.- Yet I am sure as you might have already realized this rarely does the trick – except maybe giving you the comfortable feeling of being a victim.
But but but – after this has happened – how do you bounce-back into say normal life.
If you need to come out of it stronger - In the end it is only You vs You.
If You need to change your life
1.You need to give-up
2.You need to let-go
3.You need to unlearn
4.You need to relearn
5.You need to reshape
6.You need to redesign – the way you think, you act, you react, you respond and the way you live your life
7.You need to master the essential life-skills
The biggest demon we need to demolish is the demon within ourselves - The biggest battles that we need to win are the battles within ourselves.
All of us have inner conflicts
1.We struggle with how to say NO
2.How to ask for something that we want
3.In Expressing our feelings
4.Claiming our rights
5.Balancing between being likable and being respectable
6.How to choose between two equally beneficial or damaging options we must choose between
Inner conflicts are war between our brain, body and spirit - It is almost as if our mind wants to keep running old scripts and habits while your spirit is eager to create new ones.
Part of us may want to allow change while another part of us resists it -In daily life this dynamic gets played out through conflict, frustration, insecurity, tension and reactiveness.
The most grueling Types of internal conflict is when we don't know which choice to take – it is called Moral Dilemma- wherein Each choice may provide some good, but maybe at the expense of causing a predicament elsewhere.
Example - A train is hurtling along a track that has five people tied to it. There is a lever to divert the train onto another track where there is only one person tied down.
Either five people will die or just one person will die. The dilemma you have is whether you should leave the train on its natural course and not interfere, or whether you should pull the lever, killing one person but saving five other lives in the process.
Moral conflicts can differ in degree of seriousness - The consequences of some choices can be on a much larger scale than some minor scenarios.
15 reasons Why inner-conflict happens
1.We need to understand that seldom our inner struggles or conflicts are caused by the circumstances – in fact thy are almost always because of our illusions about what has happened and our illusions about how irreversible this is – nothing is farther than the truth
2.We also need to understand that the Second cause of our conflict is our attachment with people, our False-self-image, our expectations of the how life should happen, our expectations our how and what other people should be doing
3.If we are struggling with a decision then the Third cause could be that we are not clear about what we want and what we need to change in ourselves
4.The fourth reason could be that – we want the situation to change just like that – without our going through the complete cycle of the metamorphosis – during a big crisis, grief, tragedy or upset
5.The Fifth cause is that we are resisting and fighting with what is happening – this causes the most unnecessary stress not in our own bit also impacts the lives 9of our near and dear ones.
6.We have difficulty in flowing with the painful phase experiencing the pain and the struggles – this causes mental, emotional and physical fatigue and exhaustion
7.We have difficulty in understanding – many times – to win, we must lose
8.We also feel bad and put our energies to resist giving up something that we were in comfort with or felt like our entitlement
9.It also happens when we start giving more to others – expecting that we will get more from them or the world AAND ARE NOT GETTING IT
10.Our conditioning of Good vs Bad, Right vs Wrong, Only One Solution/Option
11.Our attitude towards mistakes, failures, should/shouldn't have done/not-done
12.Our Ego prevalent within because of our insecurities
13.Our learned habit of avoiding/suppressing/withdrawing/ignoring/Inability to face the facts about us in any situation we feel would cause pain/discomfort/ threat
14.Our not able to understand and accept that these conflicts are opportunities for us to grow, move forward and change for better
15.Inner conflict happens - When we are caught between (usually two) choices that have conflicting yet essential results or outcome that we desire badly
16 SIGNS of inner CONFLICT to know when we are at war with ourselves
1.When we blame ourselves
2.When we blame others
3.When we link our happiness and success with some external events happening AND with other people
4.When we try to find excuse to justify why we are right
5.When we have a short fuse and erupt – for no-reasons
6.When we try to create a facade to show-off to project what we don't have
7.When we become our own worst critic
8.When we have a long list of regrets, anger, complain, guilt, shame etc
9.When we keep reflecting on what others said
10.When we start magnifying simple things into catastrophic proportions
12.Over analyzing, over thinking
13.Being unable to relax and having trouble falling asleep
14.You want to do something, but another part of you is screaming - NO WAY
15.You believe in something, but you just cannot condone an action that belief teaches
16.You feel like something is right - but then you also feel like it's wrong
37 Simple Doable Ways to manage your inner conflicts
1.Don't push away annoying thoughts – instead create courage to listen and feel them
2.Identify your core-values
3.Ensure that unless you are forced by such powerful beyond control events – you would not violate your values
4.In case of confusion – try to get clarity on what you want – asking Why, why why till the time you are motivated to throw your 100% efforts to accomplish that outcome
5.Do the essentials must do tasks and maintain the routine hygiene factor
6.Do nothing immediately aftermath of an significant emotional event
7.Identify what is within your control and what is not – learn the habit of ditching the out of control things
8.Focus on taking actions those are within your reach albeit stretch
9.Identify how this struggle may add value to your future dreams – in case you learn how to cope effectively with this situation/people
10.Identify what you need to learn to be able to deal with it comfortably later
11.Understand your passions and dreams – and pursue pro-actively action-oriented life
12.Relax, reflect and evaluate so you can be sure you have done all you can to make the right decision
13.Believe In Yourself
14.Pick The Slow Road To Success - Understand There's no such thing as overnight success OR live happily ever after
15.Stop Making Assumptions -Always look at facts. Don't have the facts? Don't make assumptions.
16.Ignore conventional wisdom - Most stuff you hear and read around you is not true or very subjective and based on few conditions
17.Keep Moving - No matter what you do, never stand still. Staying still is the same as moving backward. Because life doesn't wait.
18.All those who are successful face their fears head on and overcome them
19.Understand and accept that the Change is inevitable and the sooner we as individuals realize it the better off we will be
20. You are the only person standing in the way of yourself. No one else - They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. I disagree.
21.Distinguish between intuition and fear
22. Evaluate - In the long-term, what would be the wisest choice - Weigh up the pros and cons
23. Figure out your number one priority – the most important one
24. Identify What mistaken beliefs are fueling your confusion
25. Be completely honest with yourself about what are you scared of
26. Distinguish between the choices to determine which is the "lesser of two evils
27.Adopt a future perspective
28. Understand from where your resistance is coming from
29. Could there a more important underlying issue or cause behind your struggle
30. Choose to stop participating – do nothing for the moment
31.There is an internal battle that is taking place between the person you are now and the person that you truly want to be.
32. Build in time for self-reflection
33. Find the environment that will enable you to clear your mind
34. Bucket your worries and anxious thoughts into categories
35. Create your strategic Game Plan
36. Be observant and learn
37.Stop competition with others start competing with yourself
24 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE WINNER IN LIFE EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL IT
1.You have a family who is very supportive
2.You may have one or two close friends – who stood by you
3.You are living the life as per your passions
4.You maintain have high standards
5.You live as per your clear values without compromise
6.You are slowly moving forward towards what you are aiming in life
7.You don't bother what others may say or think
8.You give 100% to everything
9.That is why you don't have regrets
10.You can let go easily
11.You too get scared time to time – but never let that fear stops you from taking actions
12.'You love learning new thing
13.You experiment and even if you fail you keep experimenting till you get a better way
14.You are always thinking of and doing improvement
15.You respect, accept and love yourself
16.You take responsibility for your actions and decisions
17.You do things you love
18.You take care of yourself, your needs
19.You can say No
20. You know your rights and can claim your rights
21.You are meaningfully engaged
22. You create Powerful Opportunities by Taking Bold Decisions and Action
23. You know you need to rough it out many times to gain what you want and need
24. You know that worthwhile and meaningful results can only be achieved through many failures, mistakes and then correcting yourself
Some inner demon we need to fight – because
1.Everything we Desire Lies On The Other Side only if we Face and conquer our Demons
2.Stopping to allow our Past control the direction and creation of The Future we want
3.A demon could be born out of a traumatic recollection — a chilling event from the past that mars our catalog of memories – but Unfortunately, the monsters do not disappear by merely ignoring them - In fact, these issues only escalate when neglected. They manifest themselves in crooked, twisted ways, bleeding into our relationships, anxieties, work lives and personal sense of peace.