There is a Greatness in Being Selfish. Greatest leaders and most successful and happy people are selfish because they think and act like the champion athletes in the genre of global best
You would wonder, How can that be, as the dictionary definition of selfishness, clearly says that someone selfish is "a person lacking consideration for other people and concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure".
This article is about How Being Selfish, Being Greedy [read hungry for] and Being Foolish can give you a Successful, Happy and Fulfilling life.
Let us first examine the word selfish from only factual perspective. If the word 'selfish' is realistically analyzed, you will find that being selfish is all about looking after your best interests only. It does not have to be at the cost of others or by harming others.
But because of our skewed understanding the assumption has crept into our psyche that to win, others must lose.
Only the real Leaders understand that unless you become the best in every role and in everything you do, you cannot make meaningful contribution to others.
In other words being selfish in a true sense is being selfless.
If you use the selfishness in the correct sense, you can become a Great team Leader, a Great Parent and Great in Business as well as in every other area.
Although it is also an established fact most of the mess in our world today is caused as a result of extreme selfishness practiced by the corporates, the politicians, the religious zealots, the dictators and the big-time scammers.
You would find people [In one end of the spectrum] those who try to make everyone happy and eventually end up being loneliest, misunderstood, neglected and hurt – only because they give too much and never express their needs, so get nothing.
On the other extreme end you would find narcissists who are obsessed with only themselves and completely focused on self-glorification by making their own needs above others while using people for their personal gain.
Both these extremes are psychologically disturbed people and need expert interventions.
People who are focused on meeting the needs of others, and neglect getting their own needs met, actually reduce their performance as well as of those who are connected with them.
Why it is important to be Selfish
1.Unconditional acceptance of self and Self-love helps to promote positive mental and emotional health
2.Too little self-love can lead Low self-esteem which is linked to higher levels of aggression and anti-social behavior
3.We spread pain and sorrow in the world especially to our closest relationships only because we haven't fully healed our own wounds
4.Self-acceptance and self-love actually makes you quit victim mentality and as you take charge of your emotions
5.You would look for respect, self-worth, love from within, vis-à-vis people who have low self-worth & look to others for love and acceptance, approval, appreciation etc[and in the process they become a serious threat to their loved ones]
6.Your relationship quality would improve and would become healthier
7.You would not have to pretend being someone else, you can be genuinely yourself, which would break most of your stress
8.You would grow in every aspects of life
9.You would neither have to please others or dominate them
10. Selfish people are more confident and less likely to give up on goals
11. You'll have an advantage when it comes to leadership roles
12. They go after what they want unapologetically, and they're not afraid to ask for the raise or promotion
13. There is often a higher purpose to be a great leader–taking care of other people. But if you can't take care of yourself, you can't care for others. Being selfish is critical
14. People will have a harder time manipulating or taking advantage of you if you're selfish
15. You can set healthy boundaries
16. You will have a well-developed sense of who you are, what you enjoy and the ability to communicate this to others, you'll be a happier person Selfish people spend their time doing activities they like to do
17. When you're able to focus within, you're much more authentic and much happier
18. Putting yourself first is not a negative quality; it's your job to take care of yourself and get what you need
19. If you are selfish all your following would improve
I.Self-Worth
II.Self-Respect
III.Self-Esteem
IV.Self-Compassion
How to practice Selfishness the correct way
1.Redefine the word. Being selfish has a very negative connotation in today's society. First understand that Selfishness is not about using others, or making them serve you, or removing yourself from people.
2.Identify what is real you, Ask yourself
3.What makes you happy
4.What makes you excited
5.Ask yourself are you living the life you want
6.Ask yourself Are you the person you want to be right now
7.Are you happy with where you life taking you
8.Define what's important to you & then Priorities!
9.Be proud of your accomplishments
10. Get rid of toxic friends and relationships
11.Think before you say yes
12.Learn to Say "no" when someone asks you to do something you're uncomfortable with
18.Start enjoying learning, unlearning and relearning by continuously upgrading your skills, knowledge and experiences
19.Take time to do nothing
20.Take a break regularly
21.Have a meaningful conversation
22.Spend time with someone you love
23.Practice to take responsibility for your actions and accept your mistakes without guilt
24.Do more of what you want to do
25.Do less of what you don't want to do
26.Accept your flaws
27.Learn to trust your inner voice and gut instincts
28.Dream more
29.Ask for help
30.Express yourself
31.Remember your rights and let nobody encroach them
32.Always realize that You are unique and unlike any other person
So, selfishness doesn't have to mean only caring about ourselves – it means putting ourselves first and taking care of our needs so that we can offer more value to the world.
The practice of selfishness in the correct way is that by putting ourselves first, we actually help others more.The Misunderstanding about being selfish
1.Selfishness does not mean needy, narcissistic, or I want/I want
2.Being selfish does not mean that you become irresponsible, abandon your children or spouse or otherwise revert to six-year old behavior
3.Selfishness does not mean to focus exclusively on yourself, only that you want to be your best
4.Most folks try to be generous first before they've become selfish enough. Mistake, because it's not sustainable, or if it is, it's highly costly to you, your life and those around you
How you know you're practicing the right way of selfishness
1.You find yourself needing less from others
2.You will feel less pulled by roles that you've adopted or that have been given to you
3.You will feel independent
4.Be more human
5.Show others how to please you
6.You can market your talents easily
7.You would feel happy and people around you too will get infected by this positivity
When Greed [read hungry for] is great
1.When you are passionate about your large dreams
2.When you want to be the best that you can be
3.When you want to absorb and learn all that you can
4.When you only aim for excellence
5.When you want to create something meaningful and sustainable
When greed is bad
1. Wanting It All to themselves
2.Torturing others to get your ways
3.Cheating and coning the helpless
4.Exploiting someone's weakness
7.When you are greedy for money, fame, glamour, power
8.When you want to hoard, what you may not even need, ever
Psychologically the root cause of your bad-greed may be a sign that you have few embedded insecurities.
=> Then there is CORPORATE GREED, greatest example of which is in India,as per economic research,
in the last few years, there has been an increase of wealth by 80% of JUST 1% people.
This is not economic development, but economy breaking-down.
=> Then there are cases of superpower countries who for creating wealth for themselves as well as being powerful, create situation to make nations fight among themselves
Few Mega Greed Examples
For the people who are not from India, I am giving examples of greed those are playing havoc with India, Indian economy, its people, happiness, prosperity and peace of most of the citizens
1.Greed of power
I.We had examples of how few power hungry people created mayhem by destroying the public property worth BILLIONS of Dollars in 3 days by instigating people for the stupid cause of reservation, that is getting admission, job and other preferences without merit
II.Then there are several cases with similar outcomes of instigation of public on causes like a fictional movies, caste and religion
III.We had examples of many so called Gurus, exploiting people and indulging in mass extortion and taking government for ransom. All the top ones currently may get exposed in future
2.Greed of Money
I.Many Businessmen and Industrialists, taking money from the tax-payers through banks and then siphoning off Billions of Dollars to foreign countries in connivance with the politicians
II. Now you find the nexus of politicians/criminals/industrialists/media conniving together to divert attention from their faults by focusing on comparative small corruption issue. This is similar to couple of years back when around 1000 Billion USD loans to the top 10 industrialist was waved off by banks and they focused on a stupid issue of a university student leader to give him publicity of lifetime, by making public forget in the haze of news-flood about it
III. These few exposed are not even the tip if iceberg , the tip itself is hidden because of the above nexus and real iceberg have actually the potential of solving many economic issues, but they all live happily
IV.The topmost few current Gurus raking in money and accumulating it in their personal treasury. One's such person's hoard was discovered after his death
When it is Wise Enough To Be Foolish
1.When you are in the company of smarter, knowledgeable and experienced people
2.When you don't know something and genuinely would like to learn
3.When you are filled with curiosity and wonder and are observing and absorbing all positive all new
4.When you experiment with newer ideas and it fails, then you want to improvise
5.When you are seeking help from others
When being foolish is suicidal 1.When you Make assumptions
2.When you think you know it all
3.When you thin k this is the only way to do
4.When you over spend and Over-extend yourself financially.
5.Stand surety for someone else's debt
6.Try to change others
7.Try to fix/teach someone a lesson
8.Take justice into your own hands
9.Gossip about, slander or demean someone
10.Believe everything you hear or read
11.Make promises you cannot keep
12.When you judge harshly
13.When you make excuses
14.When you blame others for all the wrongs in your life
15.When you continue to do the same thing, every time, and yet expect a different result
16.When you don't learn from your mistakes
17.When you let others run
18.When you Anticipate everything will go as planned
19.When you don't save
20.When you start defending and justifying without knowing the alternatives
21.When you make choice based on only one option
22.When you encourage head-nodders and yes-sayers, and put down those who challenge without understanding the different perspective
23.When you get offended by constructive criticism from your known well-wisher
24.When don't ask for help because of your Ego
25.When you don't listen to your mentors
26.When you don't challenge your assumptions and expert's opinions
27.When you believe in rumors without verifying
28.When you don't take action, you must