Ways to become powerful through empowerment

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Empower Yourself, Be A Winner By Piloting Your Life To Take It To Whichever Destination You Want To Go

Be The Engine & Not A Carriage – Stop Being Driven By Other People, Circumstances Any More.

Become The Creator Of An Exceptionally High Quality Life – for yourself & for the people you care for.

Only The Most Powerful People In The World Can Take It By Storms Or Make Their Own Life Meaningful & Leave A Long Lasting Imprint In Their Area Of Influence.

This Power Can Be Acquired By Self Training & Practice – The More You Practice The Bigger Power You Have Towards Accomplishing All That You Want & Capable Of.

Many Of Us Believe That We Do Not Have Any Control Over What Happens To Us & If We Have A Series Of Misfortune/Failures/Negative Events – Some Of Us Give Up & Get Into An Dis-Empowering Mode – Which Is So Difficult A Spiral To Get Out Of. The More We Are There In This Defeatist Attitude Mode – The More Difficult It Becomes To See Any Light At The End Of Tunnel.

Let Us Understand Why Sometimes – We Feel Powerless Or Helpless Or Weak Or Hopeless Or Have Negativity

The Causes Of Our Dis-Empowering State Could Be One Of The Following

  • 1.You Have Gone Through An Intense Emotional Events/Sickness /Death /Separation etc. – That Has Left You Totally Depleted Of Mental, Emotional & Physical Energy
  • 2.You Are Playing Victim[Explained In Detail, Below
  • 3.You Are Facing An Issue, A Problem Or A Situation or A Person
  • 4.You Are In A Psychologically Induced Negative State Or Are Suffering From some Dis-Order
  • 5.All The People Having Dis-Empowering Thoughts[Temporarily] & Belief[Sometimes Lifelong] – Communicate Internally Within Themselves & Externally With Other People -With The Word => I Can Not>>>>>>>>>>>>> . Our Mind Is Very Capable – What We Believe =>We Find Very Intense Reasons For Supporting Why We Can Not.
  • 6.It Is Part Of What Is Known As Victim Mindset – Let Us First Understand The Victim Mindset & Then We Shall Talk About How To Empower Ourselves To Take Charge Of Our Actions, Thoughts & Results.

Understanding The Victim Drama

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"If It's Never Our Fault, We Can't Take Responsibility For It. If We Can't Take Responsibility For It, We'll Always Be Its Victim." - Richard Bach

"Self-Pity Is Easily The Most Destructive Of The Nonpharmaceutical Narcotics; It Is Addictive, Gives Momentary Pleasure And Separates The Victim From Reality." - John W. Gardner

The Victim Drama Triangle

The Following Taken From Http://Www.Paulthecounsellor.Com.Au/Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer/

There Are Some Commonalities In The Roles That Appear In People's Relationship Dynamics. Stephen Karpman, A Transactional Analyst, Recognized A Pattern Of Interaction That He Called The "Drama Triangle". The Drama Triangle Model Is Widely Used In Counseling And Psychotherapy.

§Victim: The Victim Either Takes On Or Accepts The Role Of A Mistreated, Persecuted Person.

§Persecutor: The Persecutor Pressures Or Bullies The Victim.

§Rescuer: The Rescuer Rushes To Defend The Victim, Protecting Them From The Persecutor.

The Drama Triangle Is Usually Represented As A Triangle With Its Point Facing Downward, With The Persecutor And Rescuer At The Top And The Victim At The Bottom. This Shows That The Persecutor And Rescuer Both Assume A Position Of Power Over The Victim.

An Individual May Start At Any Position In The Drama Triangle. As The Drama Triangle Unfolds, Something Surprising Happens; The Players Switch Roles. That May Happen In Several Ways, But Usually The Victim Becomes The Persecutor.

The Victim May Become Tired Of Being Bullied And Lash Out At The Persecutor. The Rescuer's Assistance Seemingly Empowers The Victim To Retaliate Even Though The Victim Is Usually Capable Of Defending Herself Without The Rescuer's Assistance. In This Scenario, The Victim And The Persecutor "Swap" Roles.

Alternatively, The Victim May Begin To Persecute The Rescuer, "I Don't Need Your Help! Stay Out Of It!". The Victim Becomes The Persecutor And Pushes The Rescuer Into The Victim Role. The Persecutor Becomes The Rescuer To Keep The Balance. The Players All Shift Roles But There Is Always A Victim, Persecutor, And Rescuer; All Three Are Needed To Maintain The Drama Triangle.

The Drama Triangle Is A "Game" Rather Than A Genuine, Open Interaction. Each Person In The Drama Triangle Comes Into The Situation With An Ulterior Motive, Whether Or Not They're Aware Of It, And They All Must Be Willing Participants On Some Level For The Triangle To Form And Be Maintained. The Drama Triangle Can Also Form In Groups, With One Or Multiple People Filling Each Of The Roles.

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The Following Taken From Http://Www.Mental-Health-Today.Com/Articles/Drama.Htm

PERSECUTOR - "It's All Your Fault"

  • Sets Strict Limits Unnecessarily.
  • Blames
  • Criticizes
  • Keeps Victim Oppressed
  • Is Mobilized By Anger
  • Rigid, Authoritative Stance
  • "Critical" Parent

VICTIM - "Poor Me"

  • Feels Victimized, Oppressed, Helpless, Hopeless, Powerless, Ashamed
  • Looks For A Rescuer That Will Perpetuate Their Negative Feelings.
  • If Stays In Victim Position, Will Block Self From Making Decisions, Solving Problems, Pleasure And Self-Understanding.
  • "Dejected" Stance.

RESCUER - "Let Me Help You"

  • Rescues When Really Doesn't Want To.
  • Feels Guilty If Doesn't Rescue.
  • Keeps Victim Dependent.
  • Gives Permission To Fail.
  • Expects To Fail In Rescue Attempts.
  • "Marshmallow" Parent

**If Anyone In This Triangle Changes Roles, The Other Two Roles Change As Well.

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Before We Proceed To How To Make Ourselves Empowered All The Time Let Us Please Understand Further What Is Known As 4 Quadrant Of I Am Ok You Are Ok By Thomas A. Harris

I'm Not OK - You're OK

When I Think I'm Not OK But You Are OK, Then I Am Putting Myself In An Inferior Position With Respect To You.

This Position May Come From Being Belittled As A Child, Perhaps From Dominant Parents Or Maybe Careless Teachers Or Bullying Peers.

People In This Position Have A Particularly Low Self-Esteem And Will Put Others Before Them. They May Thus Has A Strong 'Please Others' Driver.

I'm OK - You're Not OK

People In This Position Feel Themselves Superior In Some Way To Others, Who Are Seen As Inferior And Not OK. As A Result, They May Be Contemptuous And Quick To Anger. Their Talk About Others Will Be Smug And Supercilious, Contrasting Their Own Relative Perfection With The Limitation Of Others.

This Position Is A Trap Into Which Many Managers, Parents And Others In Authority Fall, Assuming That Their Given Position Makes Them Better And, By Implication, Others Are Not OK.

These People May Also Have A Strong 'Be Perfect' Driver, And Their Personal Strivings Makes Others Seem Less Perfect.

I'm Not OK - You're Not OK

This Is A Relatively Rare Position, But Perhaps Occurs Where People Unsuccessfully Try To Project Their Bad Objects Onto Others. As A Result, They Remain Feeling Bad Whilst Also Perceive Others As Bad.

I'm OK - You're OK

When I Consider Myself OK And Also Frame Others As OK, Then There Is No Position For Me Or You To Be Inferior Or Superior.

This Is, In Many Ways, The Ideal Position. Here, The Person Is Comfortable With Other People And With Themselves. They Are Confident, Happy And Get On With Other People Even When There Are Points Of Disagreement.

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Self-Empowerment Tips

1.Stay Hungry =<For More Growth, For More Learning, For A Better You In Every Sphere Of Life

2.Stay Foolish – Do Not Assume You Know It All & Make Every Experience A Learning Experience And Keep Your Eyes Open To Learning From Everyone – With A Belief That All You Meet Have Something To Teach You

  1. Be Innocent & Curious – Do Not Assume – Without Understanding The Person Or Situation
  2. Be Emotionally Thankful & Start A Grateful For Journal . ...

5.Take Responsibility for Your Life – RESOLVE NOT BLAME ANYONE FOR YOUR LIFE PAST

6.Recognize If You Are Playing Any Of The 3 Roles Of Victim Triangle & Then Take The Relevant Action As Follows

I.If You've Been Playing The Victim (Fearful, Defensive, Submissive) – Create & Identify Your Dream You Can Do This By Asking "What Do I Want?" And By Moving From Reacting To Choosing.

II.If You've Been Playing The Persecutor (Exerting Power Over Others) By Shifting Your Focus From Putting Others Down To Building Them Up.

III.If You've Been Playing The Rescuer (Overly Protective, Making Decisions For Others) Shifting From Telling To Asking.

8. When You Feel Totally Lost – Sometimes It Is Great To Do Nothing, Simply Lay Back => Engage Yourself In Other Activities Reading Good Books, Watching Motivating Movies/Videos

9. When You Realize You Are Using I Can NotPlease Replace These Words With I Use To Say "I Can Not…." Because "I Do Not Know How To Do…….." => Let Me Learn This => Why To Do This => Because If I Say I Can Not – I Am Giving Up & Am In A Helpless Situation BUT If I Say That I Do Not Know I Have A Choice To Go & Learn That & Thereby Making Myself Empowered

10. As I Am Telling In All My Blogs, That You Need To Have Big Dreams. So Start Dreaming Big – Which Excites Your Passions.

11. Then Make You're Your Step By Step Action Plan On How To Achieve Your Dream + Identify What You Need To Have[Knowledge/Skills, Help, Resources] + How Will You Get These + How Will You Overcome The Challenges

12. Then Start Implementing, Monitoring, Improvising & Celebrating Your Achievement Of Milestones

13. Create New Avenues To Reinvigorate & Recharge Yourself

14. Interact With Like Minded People – If There Are No Such Groups – Create One Yourself + Start Reading Motivational Books & watching Inspirational Videos

15. Change Your Wardrobe, Your Look, Learn Something New To Make You More Confident, Take Up A Socially Meaningful Project.

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