​Change Your Mental Spectacles To Create A Spectacular World – Enhance Your Quality Of Life To Greater Heights

Many Of Us Are Anxious, Scared, Feel Bad About, Feel Upset With People Or Situations – Which May Never Happen Or Which Is Just Not True Or Might Have Just Happened In The Past.

Yet The Emotional ,Physiological & Chemical Reactions Within Us Are Exactly As If It Is True. Here I Am Referring Only To The Negative Meanings Which We Attach With What We Think & Feel The People Have Done Or Said Meant Or Our Perceived Reality Of Situations & Events .

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Like In "The Course In Miracle" – Some Of The Initial Lessons, Explain This Phenomenon Beautifully => Check The Following 12 Of The Total 365– Which Are So Profound

1. Nothing I See In This Room [On This Street, From This Window, In This Place] Means Anything. 2. I Have Given Everything I See In This Room [On This Street, From This Window, In This Place] All The Meaning That It Has For Me. 3. I Do Not Understand Anything I See In This Room [On This Street, From This Window, In This Place]. 4. These Thoughts Do Not Mean Anything. They Are Like The Things I See In This Room [On This Street, From This Window, In This Place]. 5. I Am Never Upset For The Reason I Think. 6. I Am Upset Because I See Something That Is Not There. 7. I See Only The Past. 8. My Mind Is Preoccupied With Past Thoughts. 9. I See Nothing As It Is Now. 10. My Thoughts Do Not Mean Anything. 11. My Meaningless Thoughts Are Showing Me A Meaningless World. 12. I Am Upset Because I See A Meaningless World.

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Imagine You Are Working For A Boss Who Is Very Strict & Gives You The Toughest Tasks And Any Mistakes You Make – He Takes You To The Task. You Are Sick Of Him & Are Thinking Of Resigning.

One Day You Suddenly – You Could Hear Him Speaking To Someone – Talking About You- You Hear Him Say "(Your Name) Has Got A Very High Potential But He(You) Doesn't Realizes It & He Can Actually Excel Very Well Professionally And In Every Walk Of His(Your) Life – That Is Why I Am So Strict With Him & Give Him The Most Challenging Assignments".

Now Tell Me Whether Your Feeling Towards Him Change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take Somebody You Felt Was Very Bad Person & Much Later You Found That Your Impressions Were Wrong – Actually That Person Was A Good Person & Your Well Wisher & Vice Versa.

But These Realizations Happens To Us Rarely.

And Instead – Unknowingly Or Because Of Not Verifying Our Assumptions - We Spent Most Of Our Life Scared, Angry, Afraid, Hating, Feeling Miserable Etc Etc About People, Events, Things & Situations - Which Do Not Mean What We Think.

As Mark Twain Beautifully Said This Very Nicely "My Life Has Been Filled With Terrible Misfortunes, Most Of Which Never Happened".

In Life Impacting "Neuro Linguistic Programming"- There Is An Excellent Tool Called Reframing – This Can Be Beautifully Used To Break Our Negative/Unhelpful/Threatening/Dis-Empowering/Un-Resourceful Thoughts, Attitudes, Beliefs Or Perceptions.

Reframing Is A Very Simple Tool To Use – Which Says – Do Not Get Stuck With Only One Meaning Of An Incident Creating Dis-Empowering Reactions In You - Rather Identify The Multiple Meanings & Choose The One Which Make You Feel Great, Cheerful, Positive, Feel Good About Yourself.

It Only Needs A Little Training Of Mind – To Get Used To Right Thinking By Discovering & Inculcating The Most Empowering & Powerfully Positive Feelings Almost All The Time.

Why & Where We Need Reframing

First Understand How Our Mind Takes Us To An Un-Resourceful State

1. Making You Assume That You Are Right Always

2. Making You Blame Yourself

3. Making You Ignore The Positives & Focusing On Only Negatives

4. Giving You The Feeling Of Need To Control People & Outcomes

5. Making You Upset When Others Do Not Act As Per The Rule

6. Making You Jump To Conclusions

7. Making You Mind Read – Making You Assume Why Other Person Said Or Did Without Verifying

8. Making You Overgeneralize - Predicting Outcomes Based On Maybe One Incident Or Your Own Perceptions

9. Making You Label Yourself Negatively - On Making One Mistake –Making You Think You Are A Born Failure 10. Making You Make Mountain Out Of Molehill

11.Making You Imagine The Worst Possible Outcome Or Scenario

12. Making You Use Should, Would, Must Statements

All These Above Mistakes Breaks Our Confidence, Lowers Our Self Esteem & Can Lead Us Astray. To Overcome These We Need To Reframe

Let Us First Understand How Reframing Works

There Are Two Ways We Can Reframe – Either Change The Context Or Change The Content Or Meaning

Context Reframe Is Giving Another Meaning To A Statement By Changing The Context.

Example: 'My 6-Years Old Daughter Is Too Head-Strong' => To => 'Won't You Be Happy When She Grows Up That She Will Be Able To Defend For Herself?' (That's Taken From A Real-Life Example From Milton Erickson).

Content Reframe Is Giving Another Meaning To A Statement By Recovering More Content, Which Changes The Focus. It Is Also Called Meaning Reframe.

Example: 'My Boss Always Calls To Me When He Wants Someone To Deal With This Most Difficult Customer " => To => 'You Must Be So Good – That Is Why He Trusts You To Handle An Important Customer!'

Basic Purposes Of Reframing This Can Be Applied To Yourself When You Realize That You Are Doing The Following Or To Help Another Person 1. Moving From Inactive To Active – In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This "I Am Doubtful Whether I Can Do Anything About This," You Might Respond, "What Is One Thing You Can Do?" 2. Moving From Past To Future - In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This - "I've Never Been Good At Public Speaking," You Might Respond, "If You Imagined Yourself To Be Successful At Public Speaking, How Would You Be Speaking That Would Be Successful?" 3. Moving From Future To Past - In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This - "I Can't Seem To Start This Project," You Might Respond, "Has There Been A Time In The Past When You Felt Similar Yet Achieved Your Objectives & What Did You Do Then To Start Taking Action? How Can You Use Same Process Now?" 4. Moving From Others To Oneself - In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This - Nobody Don't Seem To Like Me," You Might Respond, "What Is It You Are Proud Of Yourself?" 5. Moving From A Liability To An Asset - In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This - "Because Of Being A Perfectionist – I Am Always Under Pressure And Am Not Able To Achieve My Goals," You Might Respond, "Which Situations Being A Perfectionist Is Most Helpful?" 6. Shift From Victimization To Empowerment - In Situations - Where Either You Are Saying To Yourself Or Some One Is Saying This - "This Always Happens Only To Me Alone," You Might Respond, "Sometimes We Even Do That To Ourselves.

How To Reframe Your Thoughts & Beliefs

Write Down Everything And Anything

• 1.That You Are Not Grateful For Concerning Your Body On The Outside Or Your Life On The Inside
• 2.Anything You Have Done Or Not Done
• 3.Anything You Do Not Love About The Way You Look Or Feel
• 4.The Embarrassing Situations – You Keep Reflecting
• 5.All Your Limiting Behaviors You Hate/Dislike Yourself For
• 6.The Major Mistakes – For Which You Feel You Are To Blame
• 7.Your Failures In All Areas Of Life – Relationship, Family, Profession, Studies
• 8.Your All Regrets – Those Things - You Think You Should Have Done
• 9.Everything Those Gives You Feeling Of Low Self Esteem – You Feel You Are Not Worthy Of

Creating A More Resourceful, Empowering And Helpful Frame-Of-Mind

Content Reframe – Asking Yourself For All Above 9 Unhelpful States

1.What Is The Positive Intention Here?

2.What Could This Behavior Really Mean?

3.For What Purpose Do They Do This?

4.What Would I Like It To Mean?

5.What Might Be Useful About This Experience?

6.How Else Could I Interpret The Meaning Of This Mistake?

7.What Could I Potentially Learn From The Mistakes I Made?

8.What Did I Do Well? What's Positive About This Situation?

Context Reframe – Asking Yourself For All Above 9 Unhelpful States

1.In What Context Could This Behavior Be Appropriate?

2.In What Context Could This Behavior Be Useful?

3.In What Context Could This Behavior Potentially Serve Me?

4.In What Way Could This Be Viewed As Resourceful?

How Has This Behavior Helped Me In The Past?

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EXAMPLES Negative Frame

Positive Frame ( Taken From Http://Www.Theemotionmachine.Com/Positive-Reframes/)

Argumentative → Truth-Seeking

Bossy → Good Director / Natural Leader

Clingy → Affectionate

Compulsive → Efficient / Attention To Detail

Conceited → Confident / Values Self

Crabby → Communicates Needs

Dawdles → Easy-Going

Defiant → Strong Beliefs / Courageous

Demanding → Assertive

Dependent → Connected

Doodles → Creative

Dramatic → Emotionally Aware / Expressive

Fearful → Thoughtful / Careful

Foolish → Fun Loving

Fussy → Specific Tastes / Strong Sense Of Self

Goofy → Joyful / Entertaining

Impulsive → Spontaneous

Loud → Exuberant / Confident

Manipulative → Gets Own Needs Met

Mean → Power-Seeking

Messy → Open-Minded / Easy-Going

Mouthy → Expressive / Has Strong Opinions

Naughty → Independent / Exploring Boundaries

Nosey → Curious / Inquisitive

Quiet → Thoughtful / Reflective

Rigid → Organized / Knows What They Want

Shy → Introspective / Respectful Of Boundaries

Silly → Good Sense Of Humor

Stubborn → Determined / Persistent

Talkative → Good Communicator / Expressive

Wants Attention → Speaks Out Needs

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