<p><span>In this article you will learn the following</span><br></p><p>-<b data-redactor-tag="b">74 signs of people-pleasers - you can also check how many applies to you [all those which you tick will have to be true - most of the time with most of the people and in most of the situation]</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-15 dangers of being a people-pleaser</b> - if you go out of your way to get people to like you and if you are always saying yes to others<b data-redactor-tag="b"></b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-30+ ways on how can you stop being a people-pleaser</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-6 Immutable Care-priority-Basics </b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">-12 guidelines to examine why you so strongly need to be liked by everyone</b></p><p>Are you a people pleaser</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">I have lived almost 5/6th of my life - being a submissive-people-pleaser - so most of the behaviors I have given in this article - I have picked-up from my own past. </b></p><p>We live in an interdependent society - <b data-redactor-tag="b">we need others - socially, professionally, personally and also physically.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">As social beings - we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">We need to choose very-very few-people</b> - whose love and affection is <b data-redactor-tag="b">worth our efforts and pleasing these people make us feel wonderful.</b> </p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">There are people who are closest to us and there are people whose support and help is important to us</b>.</p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">We also have to discern honestly-bluntly-brutally</b> - people whose opinion is not important and worth making ourselves miserable for - <b data-redactor-tag="b">and those we should stop giving damn about.</b></p><p>It can be hard to stop trying to do things for people - <b data-redactor-tag="b">to gain their favorable opinions and support.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">But - but - but - there is a fine line between healthy-social-behavior and behaviors which are the result of emotional-social-insecurities of seeking validation-approval-appreciation-recognition-acceptance - ALL THE TIME.</b></p><p><b data-redactor-tag="b">74 signs of people-pleasers - you can also check how many applies to you [all those which you tick will have to be true - most of the time with most of the people and in most of the situation]</b></p> <ul><li>1.You cringe at the thought of saying NO </li> <li>2.You find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers</li> <li>3.You say yes - even when your whole being and core wants to say NO</li> <li>4.You feel awful - after saying Yes to others demands forced-on you</li> <li>5.You are paranoid about what others think of you</li> <li>6.Your focus is making - everyone like you</li> <li>7.Your goals are mostly borrowed from others - because others are doing it - you should also do that</li> <li>8.You are living a life as per the opinions of others</li> <li>9.You are perpetually concerned about making others feels bad or disappointed or displeased</li> <li>10. You are terrified of saying NO to others</li> <li>11. You accept jobs-tasks-works - which make you feel worthless</li> <li>12. For getting appreciation of others - you may go any length</li> <li>13. You always compromise with your rights and needs more often </li> <li>14. You indulge in unhealthy behaviors - just so that few people nod their approval [even if this is false and fake]</li> <li>15. You let people take advantage of you - knowing that you are being fooled - because you don't want to make them feel bad </li> <li>16. You may relegate your principles and values to backseat 0in order to be accepted</li> <li>17. You may feel confused and emotionally depleted and drained - when you are around people whose favors you seek</li> <li>18. When you come across - authority-figures - you are ready to accept anything that they ask to get into their good-book</li> <li>19. You have people in your life - who are toxic and make you feel worthless - still you are unable to get them out of your life</li> <li>20. You live with - lots of - "If-only" or "I should have"</li> <li>21. You are full of emotional-hurts and regrets and guilt and shames</li> <li>22. You do feel white-rage - and this makes you go for impulsive self-destroying behaviors</li> <li>23. You have accepted that you are inferior AND that only you need others</li> <li>24. You take respo9nsibility of others - even when you are unable to complete your own work</li> <li>25. You help others - even though you yourself need help-support-assistance of others</li> <li>26. You know you should start saying No - but unable to start </li> <li>27. You are suffering a lot internally - but you are afraid to show your true self to others or seek their help</li> <li>28. You live a fake-life - one which is one huge make-belief world - where everyone in this world will someday notice - how great you are</li> <li>29. You are a firm believer that meek will inherit the earth</li> <li>30. You don't want to be seem selfish</li> <li>31. You say yes - because you don't want to lose your so called friends [fact is in times of crisis - none will ever help you]</li> <li>32. You avoid asking questions or sharing your opinion - in meetings and gatherings - even in those cases you feel that your solution is effective </li> <li>33. You can't accept being wrong or proven wrong</li> <li>34. You try to control - people who are weaker than you</li> <li>35. You avoid making decisions or taking responsibilities - you constantly allow others to make decisions for you</li> <li>36. You seldom take risks - for the fear of failing in the eyes of others</li> <li>37. You have difficulty accepting - that the life you are living - has your role </li> <li>38. You feel cheated and deflated - when you find people don't like you - even after you have gone out of your way to please everyone</li> <li>39. You try to satisfy and please everyone - accepting that some people will dislike you no matter what and for reasons outside of your area of influence and control </li> <li>40. You feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse or boss or even someone not connected with you</li> <li>41. You feel enraged and resentful of others </li> <li>42. You neglect your goals although you are others advance their goals</li> <li>43. You don't have healthy personal boundaries - and as result thereof people often intrude into your life - People can do whatever they want to you because you won't do anything about it - they use you and you just let them</li> <li>44. You have become passive-aggressive </li> <li>45. You worry about hurting other's feelings too much</li> <li>46. You put other's feelings before yours</li> <li>47. You believe you are inadequate</li> <li>48. You avoid giving yourself credit for anything</li> <li>49. You easily attract people who need to be rescued or consoled</li> <li>50. You have a great fear of letting down others</li> <li>51. You apologize all too often - even when you didn't do anything wrong</li> <li>52. You rarely ask for or accept help</li> <li>53. You hate confrontation</li> <li>54. You are helpful to even people you dislike</li> <li>55. You pretend to agree with everyone, even if you disagree with them</li> <li>56. You feel responsible for others' happiness</li> <li>57. Your self-worth is dependent on receiving praise from others</li> <li>58. You struggle to value yourself as much as you do others</li> <li>59. You are generally emotionally dependent in your important relationships and friendships</li> <li>60. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BURDENED BY OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS </li> <li>61. YOU TAKE BLAME WHEN IT'S NOT YOURS</li> <li>62. Whenever you sense that someone disagrees with your point of view you soften your points</li> <li>63. You are an image conscious person.</li> <li>64. You intentionally compliment othersmake them like you</li> <li>65. You work overtime to please your boss - although there are no urgencies</li> <li>66. You feel incomplete without a relationship - being in a relationship is important to you</li> <li>67. I am treated like a doormat.</li> <li>68. You always compare yourself with others.</li> <li>69. You forgive those who hurt you because you still don't want to lose this toxic relationship</li> <li>70. You only attempt those things which you are sure of succeeding at.</li> <li>71. You are often stuck doing things you don't want to do - you could not say NO</li> <li>72. When others don't reciprocate - you resent internally</li> <li>73. You don't complain about a bad service or product.</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">15 dangers of being a people-pleaser</b> - if you go out of your way to get people to like you and if you are always saying yes to others<b data-redactor-tag="b"></b></p> <ul><li>1.You are giving-up on things which really matters to you</li> <li>2.Bending over backwards to please others gets you into unhealthy behaviors and habits - because being yourself and risking people not liking you is better than experiencing the stress and tension that results from bending over backwards to please others.</li> <li>3.If you say - what others want to hear - then soon you start manufacturing lies just to please them</li> <li>4.You become a manipulator to get them to like you - and you try to guess what others would like to hear - you tend to change your natural behavior </li> <li>5.People pleasing ultimately turn you into a very toxic person - if you take it too far</li> <li>6.Wanting to do nice things for people is an admirable trait - but when you go out of your way others - at the cost of your own needs - you are playing dangerous game which soon turns into pathetic existence for you and your loved ones</li> <li>7.People pleasers - actually manage to lose the respect of the people they are trying to please</li> <li>8.You lose your identity, your own self-respect, your self-pride</li> <li>9.You start attracting fake and unauthentic people like yourself</li> <li>10. You are filled with jealousy - of wat others have and you don't</li> <li>11. You always feel dissatisfied-hollow-unfulfilled</li> <li>12. You suppress your negative emotions to make you immune to happiness and what you want</li> <li>13. You are under continuous extreme pressure to maintain and keep up your fake appearances and image</li> <li>14. You develop an intense need to be in control of people and situation</li> <li>15. You have shallow relationships - because no one really knows - the real you</li></ul> <p><b data-redactor-tag="b">30+ ways on how can you stop being a people-pleaser</b></p> <ul><li>1.<b data-redactor-tag="b">Understand that you are only responsible for your own happiness</b> AND NOT FOR the happiness of those around you </li> <li><b data-redactor-tag="b">2.</b><b data-redactor-tag="b">6 Immutable Care-priority-Basics </b></li> <li>I.The most important person to care for is You yourself'</li> <li>II.Second comes - your most-loved ones [when we talk about the above point - unless you are emotionally-mentally-physically energetic-motivated-inspire - can you care for your most loved ones in most optimal ways</li> <li>III.Third comes people who are dependent on you - socially-professionally-personally</li> <li>IV.After this comes the rest of the world</li> <li>V.Understand that you have a limited-energy and you need to recharge-boost-replenish your energies to levels that can make you take care of yourself and others in the aforementioned priorities</li> <li>VI.Understand that your ability to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are interdependent and are very-intimately related with each other</li> <li><b data-redactor-tag="b">3.</b><b data-redactor-tag="b">6 tips to identify your own very-very inspiring goals-dreams-passions and create plans to implementation blue-print </b></li> <li>I.Prioritize your goals</li> <li>II.Identify the resources needed and resources available</li> <li>III.Identify the challenges and the solutions to your challenges</li> <li>IV.Create a path of step-by-step actions</li> <li>V.Schedule your these actions as per priority</li> <li>VI.Start implementing them one by one - small steps at a time</li> <li>4.Set and maintain clear boundaries - Start practicing with small non-threatening steps initially</li> <li>5.Learn to refuse requests politely without apology.</li> <li>6.Understand that you can disagree with other's views-opinions-suggestions-demands-solutions</li> <li>7.And that both or multiple views can be right at the same time - in many situations</li> <li>8.You can totally different point of view and can still treat each other with respect and kindness</li> <li>9.Learn to express your thoughts, concerns, opinions and feelings assertively</li> <li>10. Speak-up - disagree with respect - say no politely yet firmly</li> <li>11. You may find yourself in minority or all alone - but if you are convinced about what you believe - then stick with it</li> <li>12. Understand that in today's world the majority often follows and believes wrong-negative-harmful concepts and people</li> <li><b data-redactor-tag="b">13. </b> <b data-redactor-tag="b">12 guidelines to examine why you so strongly need to be liked by everyone </b></li> <li>I.List all the things comes to your mind irrespective of how ridiculous they may feel to you</li> <li>II.Identify all those weaknesses you are ashamed of</li> <li>III.Identify what all you try to hide</li> <li>IV.Identify what regrets makes you feel very bad about yourself</li> <li>V.Identify what mistakes you have made which you think have permanently altered your life</li> <li>VI.What you think you cannot do</li> <li>VII.Why you think nothing is going to change in your life</li> <li>VIII.Why you feel you are worthless</li> <li>IX.Which feelings and emotions you try to suppress</li> <li>X.What are the things you ae afraid to face about yourself</li> <li>XI.Why do you think that you are so weak and need pity and dole of others</li> <li>XII.Why you feel pathetic about your life</li> <li>14. Now challenge why all above negative-beliefs are wrong - using your most trusted-respected-proven person OR even a person who is objective-unbiased</li> <li>15. The using the NLP's reframing-technique - identify what negatives that you feel irresolvable - can actually give you a path for wonderful growth</li> <li>16. Identify-Face-accept the truth of what is going on in your life</li> <li>17. If you feel let-down by others or being taken advantage by others acknowledge these feelings </li> <li>18. If you feel overwhelmed-hopeless-overextended - accept these and resolve that you will fight back to get back to resourceful states</li> <li>19. Stop apologizing if you have not made any mistake</li> <li>20. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you'll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.</li> <li>21. Say No More Often</li> <li>22. Pay Attention To Your Feelings - If something doesn't feel good, then it isn't good. Don't shy away from listening to your gut. This is the ONLY thing that you should be listening to. Your intuition never lies.</li> <li>23. Schedule Me-time in your everyday to-do list</li> <li>24. Start taking actions which reinforces and rebuilds your self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, self-pride etc.</li> <li>25. Become comfortable asking for help - without feeling too obliged</li> <li>26. Show kindness when you mean it</li> <li>27. Understand that not everyone's opinion matters and should be given importance to</li> <li>28. Learn the art of ignoring strategically</li> <li>29. Learn the healthy-ways to resolve-conflict </li> <li>30. Nurture your important and close relationships</li></ul><div><br></div><p>#areyouapeoplepleaser, #signsofpeoplepleasers, #Dangersofbeingapeoplepleaser, #damagesofbeingapeoplepleaser, #howcanyoustopbeingapeoplepleaser, #reasonswhyyousostronglyneedtobelikedbyothers, #whyyoubecomepeoplepleaser, #getridofpeoplepleasingtendencies, #developingemotionalsecuritytobeatpeoplepleasing, #howyouloserespectofpeopleyouaretryingtoplease</p>