Read People Like a Pro with 120 Expert Hacks 52 Body Language Decoding Tips 31 Questions to Unmask Hidden Intentions

 In this article you will learn the followings

If you want to be a great leader – you must master the following skill

a.How to read people
b.How to read between the lines and accurately conclude what was unsaid
c.How to correctly infer - from the various verbal, non-verbal and others cues

These skills are so valuable that it can boost every area of your life –social, personal, professional, business and relationship etc. – to make it more meaningful, purposeful and blissful.

This is not about wild-guessing or mind-reading or judging others through impulsive gut-feelings.

It takes – rigorous, disciplined and focused practice – over a period of time to master.

To master this skill - you have to become a great observer of human-behaviors AND have to train yourself to look for patterns.

Because of various complex factors impacting and controlling human behaviors –gauging and assessing people - based on one or two incidences –will create disastrous results, wrong choices, bad decisions and cause serious issues in your important relationships.

To master this art of reading people and read between the lines and make correct and right choices, decisions and actions – You have to start with yourself.

Only by understanding yourself fully and completely – you would be able to understand others and draw correct inferences from the cues that your six senses receive while interacting with people.

You have to raise your awareness levels, by keenly observing -what triggers - anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, jealousy, inferiority, envy, shame, guilt, hurt, fear and embarrassment and feelings of insecurity - within you.

You also need to discover - all the factors which fills you with positive and empowering feelings and emotions like being – jubilant, confident, courageous, successful, generous, positive, hopeful, blissful and blessed, proud [not Egoistic arrogance or over-confident without any reason] - to name a few.

When you are able to draw accurate inferences – based on data, facts, patterns and evidence – you not only become a better leader but also a much better mother/wife/sister/daughter or father/husband/brother/son OR any role that you play in life.

You become aware of who you are and what you want WHICH gives you the opportunity to live by being yourself by accepting yourself fully – as you are.

You also are able to understand others and why they do what they do – and their triggers, their aspirations, their weaknesses and their motivations etc.

You would also be able to understand what someone really means– even though they might not have expressed it.

When you have mastered this art of reading between the lines – you will be able to understand what makes others - insecured, scared, submissive, and arrogant or whatever behavior they display.

When you are able to understand how a customer would react and respond OR how your employees would react and respond - you automatically become an effective and powerful leader.

To master this art of reading between the line, drawing the right inference, making the right choice and taking the correct decision – you have to practice, test, experiment, and verify ALL your gut feelings and thoughts and reactions – for a reasonable period of time – to be able to pick the right cues and avoid any pre-set bias.

In this article – you will find few simple tricks and hacks, which you can use as they are given – BUT – you also need to read my 100+ articles on the related issues out of the 900+ blogs I have written in two of my websites as well as in the 2000+ answers on my Quora Page.

The biggest challenge you will face as a human being while trying to master this skill – is the human nature of judging through first impressions or very quickly jumping to conclusion based on one incident itself.

And unless you make it a habit of verifying – every impression and gut-feeling and intuitional thoughts you get – when facing any situation or person YOU cannot master this invaluable skill.

Initially you will make many-many major as well as smaller mistakes – but by constantly checking and verifying – you will become better and better.

Having said that – PLEASE UNDERSTAND that it is impossible to be 100% right all the time in every situation and with every person that you come across.

Because People reading is not a black and white linear thing –as human beings have complex personalities, moods as well as mood-swings, different perspectives and POVs – and all these keep changing due to changing circumstances.

This is why observing the patterns – is of paramount importance – as the patters reveal a person's core.

You also have to stop - assuming, generalizing and forming opinions about anyone – based on few demonstrated traits.

You have to accept the fact that none of us can understand anyone completely – many people discover after a disruptive emotional change–-that they really don't know their partners or friends as well – even though they have been with each other for many years.

However - with experience and adequate practice and by becoming a curious and interested learner by using your observation skills you should be able to get a good measure of someone.

When you become good at observing others – your social-intelligence and emotional intelligence also becomes higher.

Good observers of human nature can enthrall their audience AND they will have numerous story-telling examples to enliven any conversation – which will also help in Building positive relationships with others.

You need to observe a large number of people under different circumstances over a period of time to be able to accurately assess others effectively.

Of-course – you also have to learn, understand and refine - the basic psychology about human nature and different personality traits.

In psychology –theory of mind is considered an important social-cognitive skill that involves the ability to think about mental states - both from your own perspectives as well as from others.

8 Ways Theory of Mind Helps Us Understand, recognize and accept – how others understanding, drives, motivations, desires, objective, fears, beliefs etc. may differ from yours.

• 1.Like why someone desires or wants something – this may differ from one person to the next
• 2.Why people can have different beliefs about the same thing or situation
• 3.Why people may not comprehend or have the knowledge which seems so obvious and is true
• 4.Why people may hold false beliefs as well as expectations about the world
• 5.Why people may act one way while feeling another way
• 6.If you pay attention to these 8 most common emotions - anger, disgust, fear, hate, happiness, sadness, surprise and love.
• 7.The common understanding is that - people may smile when happy - frown when sad - glare when angry, sulk when hurt, [say] sing or dance when in love - and so on.
• 8.YET – you may discover that – because of various factors like culture, education, societal-standards etc. – people may express or communicate anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise – in wildly different ways and – they may have confusing facial expressions to express one common emotions.

Before we move to the how part – I must request you to – not to use Your expertise of reading people for the following negative reasons – which would fall under unethical and below the belt hitting tactics

6 Things You Must Avoid – while using your people-reading expertise – as it may cause immense harm, damage and sabotage lives

• 1.Please do not use your expertise - to manipulate, control and take advantage of others [something which the people with anti-social personality disorders and similar psychological issues do]
• 2.Do not focus on – finding-faults, pointing out the mistakes of others and identifying their weaknesses
• 3.Do not use this art to - belittle, demean, insult, put-down, embarrass, make people feel guilty and to criticize them
• 4.Do not use this to punish, torture and cause hurt to others
• 5.Do not use this to settle score and for taking revenge and vengeance
• 6.It should also not be used to compare yourself with others – and to justify your negative reactions and actions [you have to accept that - All of us are strong in few areas and have limitations in other areas –Just like anyone else in others]

15 amazing benefits of - reading between the lines, drawing inferences and people reading

• 1.It is about understanding others
• 2.It is also about understanding your own motivations, drives, fears and anxieties – on why you do what you do – because only by mastering this you will be able to infer or read between the line more accurately
• 3.It is also about sharpening your observation-power and strengthening your major 5 senses
• 4.This is also about fine-tuning your intuition the 6th sense
• 5.It is also about identifying the strengths of yourself as well as others
• 6.If used correctly – it should enable you to make great choices and take correct decisions as well as taking the right actions
• 7.This skill should help you communicate better with others and also to build rapport and wonderful relationships
• 8.If used in the right manner – it may help you avoid unnecessary – conflicts, misunderstanding and dispute
• 9.It will certainly Enable you to resolve misunderstanding in very effective ways
• 10.Understand your own as well as other's – areas of opportunities, development and growth
• 11.Helping you widen your perspective to create an open and flexible mindset
• 12.This will facilitate you to listen and acknowledge – views, opinions and perspectives – which are very diverse and completely different than yours
• 13.This should also lead you to become genuinely yourself
• 14.By practicing and sharpening this skill your adaptability, receptivity and the understanding of various possibilities – would increase thereby helping you grow in every area of your life
• 15.You can also use this understanding - to help others become better person – when you identify other people's blind spots and by correct constructive feedback and engagement
• 16.Know about various Personality styles 16 examples given below [but there are many more] – which possibly one of the most complex aspects of people reading – few examples
• I.Introvert
• II.Extrovert
• III.Logical
• IV.Emotional
• V.Thinker
• VI.Doer
• VII.Intellectual
• VIII.Experiential
• IX.Materialistic
• X.Spontaneous
• XI.Structured
• XII.Traditional
• XIII.Relationship focused
• XIV.Goal focused
• XV.Creative
• XVI.Follower or Conformist

120 Tips on how to read people correctly, how to read between the line and how to infer and reach correct conclusions to take right action and decision

• 1.Initially you can Start by observing those with whom you deal on everyday basis – later you can expand your observations to – the acquaintances, strangers and finally, those whom we do not like
• 2.Learn to understand the context in which the conversation, discussions or interactions are taking place
• 3.Identify what external factors might be influencing behaviors of all the different stakeholders – yours including
• 4.Trust Your Intuition - If something does not feel right - trust your instincts – but then – you must verify subtly by asking deep focused questions – when you have honed your intuition by constant practice – it can help you detect underlying motives and unspoken truths
• 5.Pay attention to the expressions, gestures, and body language- ask yourself if their words are matching their non-verbal cues – because Non-verbal cues reveal more than words
• 6.Identify as many different emotions and feelings that humans display – print the exhaustive emotional wheel to learn about the 100+ emotions the human beings express and feel
• 7.Identify what behavioral cues [both verbal and non-verbal] people give – when they are in say
• I.Unfamiliar situations
• II.Under fire
• III.Under pressure
• IV.Familiar situation and with known people
• V.In unknown situation and people
• 8.Observe – whether their words match their non-verbal cues OR there is remarkable disconnect
• 9.Observe how refined, suave and sophisticated they behave – when facing challenging situations
• 10.Are they enjoying themselves OR are ill at ease
• 11.What type of Aura OR vibes – you are feeling [this you can experience when you have a very high sense of empathy and intuition]
• 12.Ask yourself – if you get the feeling that – the person you are observing have any hidden agenda – which could explain their behaviors and reactions
• 13.31 Questions to Ask yourself –to find hidden agendas of people
• I.Are they trying to Show-off
• II.Behaving arrogantly and showing as if they don't care - to cover-up their insecurities, fear, lack of knowledge
• III.Are they trying to Escape being pinned-down
• IV.Are they interrupting regularly
• V.Are they trying to get the limelight
• VI.Are they trying to control people and the discussions
• VII.Are they listening with alertness OR listening to answer
• VIII.Are they uplifting the group OR killing the group's energy
• IX.Are trying to hide their lack of knowledge, their nervousness and their anxieties
• X.Are they trying impress by using jargons and speaking fast OR speaking using simple and easy to understand words
• XI.Are they showing genuine interest in whatever the topic of discussions OR just are there because they have to be
• XII.Are they building on others POVs OR are interested in forcing others listen to them
• XIII.What types of words they are using – and whether these words shows their class or show that they lack finesse
• XIV.Are they adding value to the group's objectives
• XV.Are they being respectful and respectable OR trying to be popular
• XVI.Are they engaging in Whataboutery, Grandstanding, Projections
• XVII.Note How is their attire, grooming and behavior plus conversational style - The attention-seekers would often dress in an avant-garde manner and wears fashionable accessories
• XVIII.Are they using soft and pleasant tone OR are very loud
• XIX.Are they displaying mannerism which tells that – they are struggling to be themselves
• XX.Are they being assertive – firm and soft OR controlling and suppressing
• XXI.Are they challenging and questioning through informed questions OR are being cynical and skeptical as well as provoking without sound logical grounds
• XXII.Can you notice – their frustrations, irritations, suppressed anger
• XXIII.Are you able find what triggers make them lose their self-control
• XXIV.Does this person Interacts well in one-to-one or small group settings OR is comfortable in large group settings and public speaking and is Adept in speaking to large groups of people and relish the limelight
• XXV.Does this person initiates and carry on the conversation well – on their own – AND Connect with others fast
• XXVI.Does this person Express better in writing than in speaking or vice-versa
• XXVII.Is this person Less spontaneous and more deliberate in his/her responses
• XXVIII.Is the person radiating in the social settings or looks like a loner
• XXIX.Does the person displays relationship building skills and Work the room well
• XXX.Does this person demonstrates a caring and helpful nature OR a selfish and self-involved nature
• XXXI.Does this person asks lots of focused questions OR does not participate and involve himself/herself
• 14.52 Simple Observation Tips to find out – people's priorities and values
• I.Are they Work-focused workaholic spend long hours at work - works beyond normal working hours – ignoring breaks and leisure OR are focused on maintaining work-life balance would try their best to leave work on time and adhere strictly to their working hours
• II.Helpful OR selfish and self-centered
• III.Uplifts others or drains others emotionally
• IV.Materialistic or relationship focused
• V.Has a class OR a Hypocrite
• VI.Show-off OR comfortable being himself/herself
• VII.Organized or Chaotic and unorganized
• VIII.Honors commitment OR makes promise which never happens
• IX.Promises less and delivers more OR the reverse
• X.Keen learner OR keeps doing the same thing the same way all the time
• XI.Flexible OR have fix-habit
• XII.Healthy conscious OR Indulges in the pleasures of all senses
• XIII.Has deep meaningful core values OR is opportunist
• XIV.Image-conscious or careless
• XV.Family oriented OR friend's oriented
• XVI.Delivers excellence OR works to meet minimal basic standards
• XVII.Has empowering habits and hobbies
• XVIII.Professional attitude OR reverse
• XIX.Treats everyone with respect OR only the authority figures
• XX.Manages finance well OR recklessly overspends
• XXI.Is goal focused and have larger than life dreams OR live day to day basis
• XXII.Strives for growth and development all the time OR learns when forced
• XXIII.Helps others grow OR puts obstacles in other's work
• XXIV.Enjoys gossips and politics
• XXV.Criticizes, makes excuses and blame others OR takes his/her personal responsibility
• XXVI.Can take tough decisions OR procrastinates taking decisions
• XXVII.Builds supportive networks OR remain a recluse
• XXVIII.Plays victim OR takes actions to come out of any predicament
• XXIX.Complains and whines OR finds solutions
• XXX.Talks about problems only OR sees problems finds solutions
• XXXI.Talks about grandiose schemes OR constantly takes actions towards his goals
• XXXII.Lives in past OR takes actions in resent to create a better future
• XXXIII.Displays helplessness OR resourcefulness
• XXXIV.Standup for his/her values and for others who can't do it for themselves
• XXXV.Plays fair OR uses any trick to get his/her agenda
• XXXVI.Comfortable in his/her own skin OR tries to put up a false front
• XXXVII.Self-confident to show his/her vulnerabilities OR hides his/her weakness, mistakes and lacunas
• XXXVIII.Can face the truth OR escapes facing
• XXXIX.Take self-care by making it a priority AND also take care of people who are close to him/her
• XL.Open-minded OR closed-minded
• XLI.Knows when to fight for and when to walk-away
• XLII.Aware of his/her qualities and negativities AND accept himself and herself fully
• XLIII.Highly emotional and less empathic OR manages his/her emotions and feelings well
• XLIV.Precise and concise OR long-winded
• XLV.Clear about his/her priorities OR goes as per popular choices his/her friends make
• XLVI.Can say NO when needed OR accepts what others says
• XLVII.Knows what he/she wants – decides his/her goal based on pleasing and approval of others
• XLVIII.How well they laugh – does it sound phony or hearty
• XLIX.Does this person shares information transparently OR does not share
• L.Is this person blunt and insensitive OR straightforward and sensitive
• LI.Do they conform to the norms OR stand-out
• LII.Understand if they are displaying Assertive, submissive, Aggressive or passive Communication OR Passive Aggressive Communication Or Manipulative Communication Style (the hardest one to read)
• 15.During your listening process - look out for recursive themes, raised issues, areas of concern, interests, justifications and rationale for their decisions and actions – to discover their lies, their values, their beliefs and priorities.
• 16.Observe their attire, environmental and social interactions -how they interact with their external environment and other people
• 17.Observe how they spend their leisure time
• 18.Observe their expectations of others -Observe their goals, hopes and dreams:
• 19.Learn to notice, read, decipher and Understand the subtle signals that they are sending out to increase your social and emotional intelligence – try reading people
• 20.Learn the keys to influencing and persuading others
• 21.Learn the skill of Deducing the most with the least amount of information
• 22.Find shortcuts to connect quickly and deeply with strangers
• 23.Learn to Decode people's thoughts and intentions – look for Personality traits such as introversion, friendliness, conscientiousness, honesty, and helpfulness are important because they help explain consistencies in behavior - Passive aggressive behavior is the poor practice of attacking others.
• 24.Learn to read Emotions - Using cues such as tone of voice, body language, word selection and facial expression to see the emotion behind words
• 25.Practice the Art of Leaving Things Unsaid - Do not give all the information away all at once - use it as a dangling carrot to pique your reader's interest and check how they respond
• 26.Be honest if you don't understand something or if you want more information about something they said – you can ask them to please explain that again
• 27.Reflect on the things the person said -Note the person's facial expressions
• 28.Look at how they're sitting or standing Watch their hands and arms
• 29.Consider the Situation Think about the circumstances Examine the timing
• 30.Reflect on any other relevant factors - Is it possible that they were having a bad day – ask yourself whether this person react to other people the same way
• 31.Trust your instincts; they can lead you to the deeper layers of understanding in any meaningful conversation -the art of conversation lies not in what is said but in what is understood
• 32.Assume a character - Get into their headspace and try thinking like them if they have a secret or are on a mission – this a very tedious and highly complicated task – but once you get the knack it becomes FUN – think like the movie and theatre actors
• 33.You can also ask few of these actors – how they acquire the mindset of different characters
• 34.You can also ask questions to yourself and respond - about how you think they would do
• 35.You can even create a scene and experiment with different verbal and nonverbal communication cues -then try to formulate theories
• 36.When you find that your creative juices are in optimum modes and you are getting ideas effortlessly - do not suppress your creative juices and let them flow. Keep a small notepad with you and jot your ideas down so that you only have to fill the gaps later
• 37.Sit back and write every instance of a hidden message you can recall or take inspiration from books you have read or TV shows you have watched – especially the nail-biting suspense flicks which kept you foxed till the very end and you could not guess
• 38.Getting into each character's headspace might sound easy while reading but is very-very tough when you start practice - Even the most seasoned actors and writers need hours of practice before they can these perfect
• 39.Can you identify or learn – what are the fears, pressures, deadlines, needs, desires, motivations of – all the important stakeholders
• 40.Develop empathy – to view the situation from their perspectives and emotional states- Tune in to their perspective and understand where they're coming from
• 41.Become an active listener – ask questions to clarify for yourself as well as others
• 42.Try to understand and comprehend the true meaning of the words they are using – ask questions to know what is hidden, unsaid BUT is the most powerful needs and wants of these stakeholders
• 43.Show genuine interest in their point of view to foster a deeper, meaningful conversations, interaction and discussions
• 44.Making inferences about what a character is like based on their actions, thoughts, or words
• 45.Making inferences about what will happen next based on what has already happened so far, and based on what you know about characters
• 46.Use the context and what you know to make a guess about what a word means
• 47.Use your research and background knowledge to infer what could be their objective and purposes

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