How to stop comparing with others

In this article you will learn the following

• -The genesis of comparison and comparing
• -6 off-the-cuff reasons and triggers which makes us compare ourselves with others
• -10 reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others
• -64 ways on How to stop comparing yourself to others

How to stop comparing with others - How to stop feeling bad by stopping to comparing yourself with others - What compels us to compare ourselves with others and how do we stop ourselves from comparing negatively.

If you can pay attention to your behaviors you will find that - When you are feeling great - you are unlikely to compare yourself with others and especially those who are less fortunate than us.

On the other hand - you may find yourself comparing with others [when we are in deep SH*T] with those who are seemingly enjoying, are happy, are successful, have everything that we wish for and don't have.

Meaning we compare our worst with other's projected best - which we might have perceived and assumed through their social-media status postings.

Tell me - If you compare your weaknesses to the strengths of others - how you would measure up - and will it make you feel good – NO WAY.

The genesis of our comparing ourselves and our children with others - lies in our insecurities and our perceptions about our inadequacies.

I can bet most of you can recall, being compared with others during your growing up period] and How did it feel at that time - it sucked big time then - as it feels horrible even now.

In theory you probably tell others and know it - that one should never compare themselves with others AND neither one should compare their children with other seemingly talented kids.

This is preaching - many of us have mastered this art of telling others - but surprisingly enough - which we ourselves fail to practice.

Because this is one of the easiest things to say than to actually apply in our lives.

Comparison is the fastest way to make ourselves miserable, unhappy and depressed - as there will always be someone who's richer, smarter, and more attractive than you.

When we compare ourselves with others - all it does is keep us focused on what we don't like about ourselves and our lives - and we don't have.

And the more we focus on other's lives - the more we lose control in our life as well as we lose control of-our lives.

When we focus on other people, we lose opportunity, effort, energy, time, money and that we could otherwise have invested in ourselves.

Why we compare – there are numerous reasons - most of them dealing with our inner-wiring and software - and most gets triggered because of our insecurities.

Some of us are addicted with and imprisoned-within our comparison-trap - which is a self-sabotaging habit of judging ourselves against others we come into contact with.

We use external cues to measure our own self-worth -landing us in a cycle of always finding ourselves as disadvantaged and making us feel miserable.

After some time we may feel like we are never good enough, successful enough, or pretty enough.

For many of us, we can hardly be in a room with other people for only maybe two minutes – and then we start making self-limiting assumptions about how they might be better than us.

We compare everything from our appearance to career success, regardless of how much or how little we know about the person. This self-sabotage may not remain confined to our inner dialogue and how you feel about yourself on the inside.

Often, we project our own insecurities on-to the world.

6 off-the-cuff reasons and triggers which makes us compare ourselves with others

1.When we feel we deserve something which others have [off-course undeservedly]

2.When we feel we are unlucky and naturally others are lucky and When we feel that life is unfair to us and is good to others

3.Whenever we are feeling emotionally low, depressed and insecure

4.When we are looking for scape-goats for our lacunae

5.When we are expecting something When we want to justify, our not taking the appropriate actions [ and we equal our not doing anything + the excuse as in point 4] entitles us for what others have

6.It has been conditioned in our nature - because we were always compared during our childhood and growing up period by our parents, teachers or anyone who were the authority figures in our life and had power over us

10 reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others

• 1.Comparing yourself to others creates always self-doubt which in turn lowers our self-esteem in a vicious cycle and certainly take out all the happiness from your life
• 2.Comparing yourself will give birth to hitting below the belt competitiveness
• 3.When we compare with others, we link our self-worth dependent on others. If they're doing poorly compared to you, you feel good. If they're doing better than you are, you feel bad
• 4.Because comparisons are always unfair and on unequal grounds - as we typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others
• 5.Comparisons is a sheer waste of energy, time, efforts and money - which could have made your growth much larger
• 6.By comparing you lose - your peace of mind, your pride, your self-respect and dignity, your drive and your passion.
• 7.Comparisons can go on forever - as there are infinite parameters to compare and make yourself miserable
• 8.Comparisons deprive us of joy
• 9.They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives - instead they push us away
• 10. Comparison is exhausting - and always lose-lose proposition.

64 ways on How to stop comparing yourself to others

• 1.Identify, note-down, become aware of and avoid your triggers - which puts you in inferior and un-resourceful state and mood to start comparing yourself with others
• 2.Unfollow all those people from your social-media -whose posts makes you feel bad about yourself and makes you compare yourself with them and also fills you with self-doubt [this is a temporary method, till you become secure, comfortable and in-love with who you are to actually wishing others and enjoying their successes, happiness's and blessings]

3.Face the fact - accept where you are and who you are - instead of playing ostrich and being in denial

4.Recalibrate and readjust your expectations - with who you are

5.Start putting efforts and investing energies and time in creating and taking care of your own needs, dreams and passions - instead of focusing on your social acquaintance or neighbor - start nurturing yourself.

6.Be comfortable with your past - even though - Your life might be filled with bad decisions, wrong actions, mistakes and failures - but all these have to be used as the catalysts to help you become better, wiser, and better human being.

7.If you're not happy where you are today – it is alright - only thing don't just resigned yourself to this state calling it fate

8.Instead identify - where you want to go and then plan how you will get there - after that it is only action and implementation and course-correction time - moving step by step towards your dreams and passions

9.Be grateful for what you have – identify and list what makes your life really blessed

10. Because when you are thankful for what you have [like the blessings that you have for having your parents, siblings, spouse, children and friends] - you'll end up having more

11.On the other hand, if you concentrate on what you don't have - you will never, ever have enough - and even if you have plenty you will never feel satisfied

12.Stop making choices out of fear, compulsion or pressures – instead choose what makes you feel great about yourself

13.Don't be with people who erodes your self-esteem - choose those who makes you feel great about yourself

14.Choose people whose qualities you want to emulate, inculcate and develop in yourself – don't compare instead get inspiration from them as role-models

15.Understand that There will always be someone who's richer, smarter, and more attractive than you – instead identify what makes you unique, in spite of your all flaws and imperfections, accept the fact that you're perfectly imperfect

16.If you must compete, compare your yesterday with today and set about to make it better tomorrow

17.Whenever you feel like comparing yourself with others – try to find out how they got there – you would soon find that they too went through severe hardships and put efforts – which if you put with persistence also would get you there. Stop the result only, focus on the efforts

18.Understand that Your goal is simply to be the best you can be

19.Start attempting new things, experiments with life, do newer things, do things in newer ways, take risk – then you would discover the joys that comes from your accomplishments

• 20.Start learning to see the side-effects of people who are years younger than you, but have lots of money and big powerful position and status – you may find

I.A human being who is constantly stressed

• II.Constantly working or is a workaholic
• III.Has no social life
• IV.Has serious health issues
• V.And That their relationships are mostly shallow and unhappy – these A to E points are not about knocking someone down, but to get the complete and correct picture
• 21.Understand that even if you compare strength to strength, there will always be those who are better, and those who are worse as all of us are on the ladder of accomplishments
• 22.Even if you do well in comparison with others, you may be artificially inflated from this comparison, which would be very short-lived boost of ego in case you win the comparison
• 23.When we compare ourselves with others, we end up resenting others for doing well, without really knowing the true person
• 24.When we are insecure and we are comparing, we might end up talking about your own accomplishments more than is necessary and we may criticize someone in public - No one appreciates that, neither would you if it happens to you
• 25.Most of us compare ourselves, without realizing we're doing it - the solution is to become conscious. Stop yourself. Once you realize you're doing these comparisons, give yourself a pause. Don't berate yourself or feel bad — just acknowledge the thought, and gently change focus.
• 26.Focus on your strengths. Instead of looking at your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them. Don't brag, but feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage
• 27.Identify your comparative behaviors, Write down comparative thoughts or feelings AND then begin the process of changing your behaviors and thoughts
• 28.Work on improving your abilities, skills and knowledge
• 29.Start Appreciating others genuinely, instead of envying them – in order to learn the good qualities that made them have whatever you like
• 30.Find your purpose, focus on the larger goals
• 31.Reinterpret what's behind your desire for possessing material things
• 32.Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid — Anonymous
• 33.Give away your need to be the most popular, most…….. of whatever it is that you are need, which makes you compare with others
• 34.Learn something new every day to boost your self-confidence
• 35.Spend quality time with someone you love
• 36.Do something that recharges your battery.
• 37.As long as you're making progress, who cares how everyone else is doing. Instead of competing with others, compete with yourself.
• 38.Use comparison to help yourself not hurt yourself
• 39.Use your disappointments, frustrations and upsets with yourself to draw out the plan to improve yourself
• 40.Start Leading - Dare to be different – and be a misfit NOT A FIT
• 41.Pursue the greater things in life
• 42.Assess Your Self-Esteem & start focusing on building your self-confidence
• 43.Learn to recognize and handle your FOMO
• 44.Stop judging others – this is one of the ways we start comparing ourselves too
• 45.Figure out what you can and can't change – then work within your area of control
• 46.Stop hating and joining gossip groups
• 47.Ask yourself the following and create similar questions
• I.Instead of asking yourself if you're making more money than your acquaintance, ask yourself if you're making more money now than you were last year.
• II.Instead of comparing your career to the careers of the people you went to school or college/university with, ask yourself if you have more job satisfaction now than you did the year before.
• III.Instead of comparing your body to that of the person who everyone admires at the gym—ask yourself if you're in better shape now than you were six months ago.
• 48.Never let other people push you into comparing yourself to them based on the metrics that they think are important. Instead, choose your own metrics based on the things that are important to you.
• 49.Make Sure You're Using the Right Metrics - Ensure that when you do measure how well you're doing, take cue from these examples
• I.Maybe your neighbor's son is always coming 1^st in the class and your son is not, and you're pushing your son by constantly comparing – and you find that his performance is going down. But you find that he does so well in sports [or anything else] that makes you feel proud. Stop pushing your son for academics instead, ensure that your son can hone this special interest or talent. You can bet that he would outshine everyone, if encouraged in this line
• II.Maybe there's a girl among your social group who has a perfect figure, and you've always been little roly-poly. Stop measuring yourself based on how much you weigh or what size of clothes you wear - instead, measure yourself by using metrics related to health – your waist to hip ratio, your cholesterol level, your blood pressure, and so on.
• 50.Realize that you're not perfect - identify and accept your imperfections - it makes you an unique person AND a damn nice one too
• 51.Indeed, the negative effects of comparisons are wide and far-reaching. Likely, you have experienced (or are experiencing) many of them first-hand in your life as well.
• 52.How then, might we break free from this habit of comparison?
• 53.Be aware of the harmful effects comparing yourself to others has created in your life
• 54.List and note down all your unique accomplishments and qualities and successes
• 55.Focus on things and value that matter really in the end - like love, quality of relationship, fulfillment and joy of living your life the way you want etc.
• 56.Many times when we feel inferior - we try to find faults in others - don't knock others down to make yourself feel better
• 57.And please understand that when we compare ourselves to other people - we are trying our best to reinforce the negative ideas we already have about ourselves
• 58.You can also ask yourself these questions - What knowledge, ideas, or areas of expertise and information does that person have that could be helpful to me - What I can learn from this individual
• 59.If only we can become curious to understand and learn about others and stop judging them
• 60.Remind yourself that other people's external visible displays can never be compared with your internal feelings and emotions
• 61.Understand that - Social Media Feed Is Full Of distortions and show-off and not the truth - in case your social-media exposure triggers the comparison
• 62.Revisit your Priorities and your goals - and then start refocusing on the actions - When You Start To Forget - Shift The Focus Back To You
• 63.Remember We Compare The Worst Of Ourselves With The Best Of Others - and also Keep In Mind You Will Never Run Out Of Things To Compare
• 64.Celebrate your Uniqueness

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