How to Complain and Get Results

​Don't Stop Complaining – Learn to Complain Effectively to Get What You want.

In this article we will focus on the 43 Tips Art of Complaining Effectively and its interdependent 39 ways of Art of Negotiating* for successful outcomes.

Most of us accept this wisdom about complaining that - Complaining is bad.

This is both TRUE as well as False.

The fact is that massive changes happen all over the world - only through effective complaining.

Complaining can also be very-very harmful to us - when we complain in the following manner

1.Complaining regularly about things that just don't have any solutions

2.Complaining about things that most people experience [e.g., weather is very humid]

3.Only bringing the Complaint and not offering a solution/a way out

4.Complaining constantly for something that is bothering/irritating* you – but doing nothing about it

5.Just whining about everything and with everyone

When anyone whines and complains constantly [without taking any action to mitigate this] – they become toxic, energy-sucking, smile-killer, enthusiasm-draining, optimism-dissolving and mood-destroying person.

If you work with someone like this or are married to someone like this or someone very close to you is like this[with whom you have to live and interact on daily basis for long time] – then you would be living a very pathetic life.

OR You yourself are like this – You will be proving the wonderful proverb "When you are dead – only others who are closest to you, feel the pain AND this is true if You are a Moron" – Same is true of a chronic-complainer.

I know that I fall into this mindset – many-many times, every week.

Why we Complain

1.Makes us feel better because we often use them as a coping mechanism to help us deal with unpleasant and unwanted circumstances

2.By complaining we avoid taking responsibility and blaming it on a scapegoat

3.We are seeking validation from our peers - We are trying to get their agreement and sympathy in the hope that it will help us to deal with the pain and discomfort we are experiencing

4.Victim Feeling lets us get rid of guilt at the conscious level

5.When we are not in control

6.We Complain Because We're Stuck in a Loop

7.We Complain Because We Want X to Happen

Why Complaining without appropriate actions are counter-productive

1.Complaining has no inherent value – as it achieves nothing through itself

2.People only will be around you – because they don't have any choice

3.If You are in a power-position like being a parent or a big-boss – chances are all of the people under you would absorb your negativities and like you will become complaining, negative, energy-sucking vampires

4.As an employee You won't be going anywhere – if manage to save your job

5.As a leader, you would be bringing down the quality of your team's performance

43 Tips on How to Complain, Effectively

1.Be Specific About the Issue That You Want to Address - Be Very Clear On What You Want to Achieve - Get a refund, Get a replacement, Get a discount, Get the other person to take a specific action, Get an apology

2.Draw up a game plan on how to prevent the situation that's bothering you from happening again in the future

3.Keep in mind that you need to make sure that what you're asking for is realistic

4.Make Sure That You're Complaining to the Right Person

5.Do your homework

6.Set a deadline - Give the company a deadline for sending a useful response

7.Make sure your complaint has reached the right person

8.Act quickly

9.Be objective, don't accuse and insult - Take the Emotion Out of It

10.Threaten the company's reputation - Effective complaints threaten to damage the company's reputation in some way.

11.Aim high and get personal - Most companies have a designated complaints procedure.

12.Use social media, especially if you don't get an immediate response - A complaint expressed via Twitter, especially with the hashtag of the company's name together with 'bad customer service', is likely to get a very quick response.

13.Don't be thrown by a company's response to your complaint - Be persistent*

14.If you've complained effectively, you may well get a much higher level of response than you were expecting.

15.You are certainly and may have a right and reason to be angry – but before you talk, face, email – become calm*

16.At all times, remain polite and clear about what you want to achieve.

17.Use Tact and Diplomacy - Tact and diplomacy are skills focused on understanding of other people and being sensitive to their opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings

18.Turn statements into questions - Rather than directly voicing your opinion, turn your statement into a question for the other person to think about

19.If the conversation gets heated, try to give yourself room to respond in ways that help rather than inflame a situation.

20. Keep an eye on the end result/outcome/the prize – if you are successful

21.Use the two General Techniques of Assertiveness* - By repeating what you want and by responding in ways unexpected by others

22. Turn on you charm – because The moment you get dominatingly aggressive you are like to hit a wall of resistance

23. Employ the sandwich technique - This could be a simple compliment - Then get to the point

24. Avoid tantrums and the drama – UNLESS – it is in public and can impact the image of the other party AND puts you in respectable position

25. Never say something OR do something that proves you to be completely irrational

26. Offer a solution – and if possible multiple solutions

27.Don't complain just to vent because Complaining for the sake of complaining, rather than for deserved results, is not a healthy - off-course If you have had bad service or a bad product you have to complain

28. Keep documentation and records

29. Complain sparingly - because The more often we complain, the less people listen

Apologize if we complain a lot in a moment of weakness

30. Vent emotionally in private

31.Ensure that your complaint is valid

32. Always point out what a good customer you are and how you have always found the company to be really good in the past etc.

33. Describe events, bullet points are useful and make it very clear, especially when dates are involved. If the complaint is long

34. Say what you want as recompense

35. Inform them that if you are not happy you will take the matter further using the relevant people and organizations e.g. Regulatory Ombudsman

36. Use consumer court and consumer laws to your advantage

37.Voice one complaint at a time - Too many issues will overwhelm the listener -What is the most important to you, Focus on that first

Practice effective complaining

38. Identify the person who has the power to make the changes you seek - then complain to that person directly

39. Admit your part of the problem, if you do have some culpability in the matter

40. Persuasion and Influencing Skills

41.How often have you needed to persuade others to do something?

42. Some people seem to be able to do it effortlessly, and almost without anyone noticing, whereas others fall back on the power of their position to enforce what they want.

43. Persuasion skills can be learnt just like any others, and they are a key part of being able to influence others to achieve your goals and objectives.

Ineffective Ways to Influence and Persuade

1.Nagging – it does work sometimes and with some people under certain situations. But it mostly works, because people give in just to stop the irritation and actually have neither bought the idea or even committed towards it.

2.Talking Constantly – those who think that if they talk more, ultimately others will buy

3.Coercion through the power of their position – it works because they have to, not because they want to.

4.Emotional Blackmail – many people use this subtly and get what they want in short run.

Things Never to Do When You Complain to Customer Service

1.Use aggressive language - The angrier or more aggressive you get during a customer service call, the greater the chance you'll receive poor

2.Attack them personally

3.Be unprepared

4. Under-prepared

5.Have wrong facts

Barriers to Successful Persuasion

1.Thinking that you are better at persuasion than you are, and therefore failing to hone your skills

Trying too hard to persuade

2.Failing to put in the effort required to get what you want

Talking too much

3.Providing too much information, which just confuses people, and makes them think you are trying to blind them with science

4.Getting desperate

5.Being afraid of rejection

6.Not being prepared

7.Making assumptions and not verifying them

8.Forgetting that the engaging others as a equal participant is the most important element

Qualities need to for Successful Persuasion

1.Honoring promises

2.Being reliable

3.Taking responsibility

4.Being sincere and honest

5.Building rapport

6.Exploring solutions that work for all the parties

7.High Self-esteem*

8.High Emotional Intelligence*

9.High Social intelligence*

10.Belief in Self

11.Empathy*

12.Listening* Skills

13.Asking Question* Skills

14.Creative problem* Solver

15.Influencing Communication* Skills

16.Story-Telling Presentation* Skills

Win-Win Negotiation*

A win-win negotiation is exploration of mutually acceptable outcomes that meets all the concerned stake-holders minimum non-negotiable needs.

[also read my blog on How to Negotiate[along with all the *marked one for Do-it-Yourself Tips] - in our Blog Section of Success Unlimited Mantra Website – from the heart of Subhashis].

Win-Lose Negotiation - In a negotiation where people don't expect or need to they don't need goodwill any more – lot of go all that you want and can get – without any regard to the other person's needs, situations etc by bulldozing and road-rolling others through the advantage of power-mismatch.

But, when we want to have an ongoing, productive relationship with the person we are negotiating with win-lose has very long-term detrimental impact on our future dealing.

Establish rapport and strengthen your negotiating position

39 Quick-Tips on Win-win Negotiation*

1.Speak slowly

2.Understand almost Everything is Negotiable

3.For getting the Best deal – never accept the first offer

4.Never waste time whining about what has happened - Instead negotiate a remedy that is satisfactory for you and not impossible for another party/person to meet

5.Always suggest the possibilities with What If – to see their reaction

6.Never GIVE Goodwill concessions unilaterally instead TRADE concessions

7.Create the impression[subtly] that someone other than You have the authorizing power – when they are seeking something big and then renegotiate

8.Adopt a Strong Stance for all that are non-negotiable

9.Frequently use powerful phrase is -ONLY IF – e.g., I am willing to give a concession to you, ONLY IF you give a concession to me.

10.Believe that Everything as Negotiable - Nothing is fixed, including prices, terms and conditions

11.Seek help/assistance/cooperation of the stake-holders

12.Seek common enemy

13.Validate the other person's opinions - not necessarily to agreeing with them - only acknowledging that you understand their point of view

14.Ask questions that show you're interested and want to understand better

15.Smile

16.Mirror the other person

17.Understand that Future negotiations can be negatively affected by the outcome of the current negotiation

18.Avoid Positional bargaining as because of the EGOs involved it is a very slow process

19.Deal with the relationship issue directly - Express emotions openly, but without blame

20. Build and develop a relationship before the negotiations begin

21.Identify the interests of the other party

22. Put your cards on the table and ask what the other party requires – and Try to find out Their whys

23. Make the other party to understand your priorities

24. Understand their priorities and share your own before discussing solutions Never present your proposal first, and then justify it – then the other side immediately begins formulating a response, They will stop listening to your reasoning

25. Explain your priorities and then offer a solution

26. Stay focused on the present with the mind on - What do you want to see happen in the future

27.Start negotiations without an objective in mind rather than starting it to see what the other side is willing to offer can be a big mistake

28. Seek solutions that result in mutual gain – It is tough as Each side believes their solution is the best -Unfortunately this solution would rarely take the needs of the other party in the account

29. Everyone believes their solution is a reasonable one - Avoid starting with preconceived ideas

30. Challenge your assumptions and verify whether your perspective is objective

31.Avoid looking for only one answer - There are often multiple solutions that are equally good

32. Agree on objective criteria

33. Ways to deal with a hard bargainer

34. Avoid responding in similar fashion

35. Avoid the urge to teach them a lesson

36. Focus on establishing ground rules

37.Address ineffective tactics as they arise

38. Let the client win on something other than price - Don't lower your price--instead, offer more lower-value products

39. On their price-objections - Agree, then defend it like - Yes, the price is high, but our your experience of dealing with our team is going to be OR that Every one of our customers says this before they buy OR You deserve the best