Don't try to be popular be respectable

In this article we will learn the following

-30 reasons Why focusing your life to become popular sucks and why it is so disempowering

-Questions to create a basic understanding to know what is really important to create and live a happy and fulfilling life

-9 Common tricks we use to gain respect-approval-validation-recognition-admiration of others - This fake-life actually manage to ruin the bliss in your life

-93 tips on How to earn respect through living a powerful life being yourself and being respectable

Don't try to be popular be respectable

In this article we will analyze why focusing on being popular or chasing-fame - is self-harming, self-destroying and most-damaging AND how being respectable gives you all that you need.

Most of us want to be loved, cherished, respected and admired and want to be popular and to be in the good books of the people who are powerful & popular.

As long as this is just a desire - and if others don't do it - does not bother you - you don't need not do anything.

But if you are among those few people who live with this compelling-need and focus to get admired-appreciated-recognized by others - then it is a very serious issues you need to start working on immediately or seek professional-counseling to build up your self-esteem and self-worth.

This need to be popular - manifest from our deep-rooted emotional-insecurities.

Many of us may only realize that living a life you truly love is the only important thing in life - but like myself - we learn this only after reaching an extremely low point in our life and through many disappointments and struggles.

Instead of focusing on being popular if we focus on how to leave an impressive and meaningful legacy of accomplishments, triumphs and powerful-positive differences we made in the lives of others - then we would have lived a life worth living.

This can happen only when we live our life being respectable and stop bothering about being liked and being popular and stop going for external-meaningless glamourous things.

30 reasons Why focusing your life to become popular sucks and why it is so disempowering

• 1.It can lead to depression, because being popular, cannot last forever, in most cases it is a case of rise and fall, off course the time-span can vary.
• 2.You are always on the tenterhook of keeping your performance at all time irreproachable.
• 3.Your popularity is only as good as your last performance
• 4.Whether you are a car salesman or a top political player - if you aren't making it happen regularly - your popularity ratings will crash-down
• 5.It is very-very hard work - even initially it needs a lot of efforts, action and persisted-focus to build, develop & sustain popularity.
• 6.You have to become a people-pleaser and thereby putting your own desires, passions and dreams in the back-stage.
• 7.You can never be yourself and you will only live to please and impress others
• 8.You will sulk - as you won't be able to express what you really feel - for the fear of making someone upset
• 9.You will make compromises with your needs-wants-desires
• 10. You will live a life dictated by others
• 11. You will never have blissful satisfaction - because you are not pursuing your own goals
• 12. You will be hollow and shallow and feel like a fake
• 13. You will always operate out of fear and not joy
• 14. You will always be running to keep up with your competition - some of whom you are competing on unequal grounds - making it a losing proposition for you.
• 15. You can never rest on your laurels
• 16. Joy of living will be lost - especially because you are focusing on meaningless, external and glamorous things - which are good only for few moments
• 17. You will always have to guard yourself - to say the right things-perform perfectly-look perfect and act perfect
• 18. You become extremely egoist as being popular creates inflated EGO in your psyche
• 19. Your life will be skewed and unbalanced
• 20. Eventually you will become tired of maintaining your performance level very high - and eventually your performance will slide
• 21. If your fame and popularity goes to your head - you may develop unhealthy habits and vices as well as harmful and selfish associates
• 22. You try to fill the subconscious-dissatisfaction through using quick-fixes and external stimulants or methods
• 23. You will be surrounded by people who wants to piggy-ride on your popularity to attain their own selfish agenda
• 24. Your true friends may walk-away - as you might start ignoring them - one can only know who are your real friends when you are in deep-sh*t
• 25. Your these self-centered friends would ditch you when you need support and help
• 26. Being popular is extremely lonely - as at the top only one person exists
• 27. Popularity has huge detrimental costs - which would impact your family, your relationships, and your health
• 28. Being popular is just an illusion as it is very temporary - and when you slip on the popularity-index - it will causes more pain and a big void because you realize that the majority of the things that you considered life-shatteringly important are not so - vice-versa will hold true as well
• 29. You will compare with others who have got more and you will constantly be under stress and your dissatisfaction would grow - comparing yourself with others is no-win game anyway
• 30. Popular people get cheated more often - as they have all sorts of things happen to them caused by people who are envious of their success

Questions to create a basic understanding to know what is really important to create and live a happy and fulfilling life

• 1.Understand that not all popular people in school go on to be successful adults
• 2.Identify few very popular person whom you idolize and you try to imitate their external mannerism - ask yourself
• I.Would you really want to be friends with those people
• II.Do you really like what they stand for
• III.Do you feel good the way they treat others and how they make others feel
• IV.Would you enjoy doing what they do or would you prefer to have a little more depth and variety in your life
• 3.Learn the value of your true friends by how much they add to your quality of life rather than how popular they are
• 4.Accept the fact that just being popular cannot guarantee you either good grades or good life, or happiness & or success
• 5.Realize that by being happy with yourself, your looks, your grades, your compassion and your sense of humor, makes your life more fulfilling and creates larger success
  Understand that being popular really has no importance, especially when you look back after few years

9 Common tricks we use to gain respect-approval-validation-recognition-admiration of others - This fake-life actually manage to ruin the bliss in your life

• 1.Showing you're smarter than others by acting smart- please understand being smart & acting smart are exactly opposite - you need to learn to be Smart
• 2.Being a know-it-all - and giving our opinion and suggestions in every matter
• 3.Correcting others in front of others - in order to make yourself feel good
• 4.Pretending superiority
• 5.Showing-off by putting false-airs
• 6.Making fun of others with the intention to put them down
• 7.Not maintaining and enforcing your healthy personal boundaries
• 8.Belittling others to impress someone to gain his or her respect
• 9.Trying to control others
• 10. Trying hard 24X7 to make others like you - on full time basis
• 11. Seeking external approval of your worth is sure to fail you - as all the control & triggers are in other's hand, which you can never hope to control

93 tips on How to earn respect through living a powerful life being yourself and being respectable

• 1.Do not talk negatively about someone, especially at her/his back
• 2.Listen well
• 3.Help other grow
• 4.Don't make excuses
• 5.Be flexible & be willing to change yourself
• 6.Be willing to do what you expect of others
• 7.Be aware of your weaknesses & strengths
• 8.Believe that people are striving to do their best
• 9.While giving negative feedback, look for opportunities to turn the dialogue into a learning and growth opportunity for others
• 10.Give credit where it is due
• 11.Admit your mistakes & apologize if needed
• 12.Take responsibility when things don't go as expected
• 13.Support others
• 14.Be impartial & fair
• 15.Take risks - experiment - try out new things
• 16.Learn to accept criticism gracefully
• 17.Do your job and do it well - so well that you are proud of yourself
• 18.Make friends with the right people - who lift you up
• 19.Ask for help
• 20.Seek out feedback
• 21.Accept that you are aware about your imperfections -and constantly look to improve and grow yourself by regularly seeking out feedback
• 22.Give feedback too - only when someone ask you
• 23.Do small nice things for people
• 24.Learn to say no whenever you want to say NO
• 25.Try to be unique and have different perspective
• 26.Respect other viewpoints
• 27.Never waste anyone's time
• 28.Improve on your public speaking, manners & communication skills
• 29.Be a mentor, coach & guide for others
• 30.Champion for others and their worthwhile causes
• 31.Don't complain instead work towards finding and solving the issue
• 32.Challenge yourself & enjoy being challenged
• 33.Be humble, warm & polite
• 34.Always deliver excellence
• 35.Learn continuously to be extremely competent
• 36.Don't apologize for stating your opinion, or for disagreeing
• 37.Present yourself respectably
• 38.Dress well according to the situation, practice good grooming & hygiene habits
• 39.Demonstrate that you are a leader -by taking initiative, accepting responsibility and taking full ownership
• 40.Practice being a thorough professional
• 41.Be a problem solver
• 42.Earn respect by honoring your commitments
• 43.Don't make promises you can't deliver - promise less deliver more - much more
• 44.Set and enforce clear healthy boundaries
• 45.What if people take you for granted - What do you do when someone disrespects you - What if someone is rude or mean towards you or someone else - if any person isn't interested in a healthy relationship with you, just ignore them & walk out of that relationship
• 46.Don't wait for direction from others - be proactive - take initiatives in cases which are important to you
• 47.Stop being too nice - distinguish kindness from always having to do things for people to please them and helping someone really needy who will appreciate
• 48.Stop trying to please and satisfy everyone - trying to make everyone happy won't get you very far - it will only fill you with frustrations
• 49.Have very strong value, ethic & moral standards
• 50.Add real value to others
• 51.Always do your homework - always learn, understand, prepare & practice before you do a new thing
• 52.Believe in your ideas, intuitions and capabilities
• 53.Speak up when you're mistreated
• 54.Claim your rights
• 55.Standup for others and worthy-causes
• 56.Stand up for someone else - do it in a diplomatic way.
• 57.Express your views-opinion-solutions fearlessly
• 58.Don't talk endlessly -give silence its place and importance by listening
• 59.Genuinely care about others
• 60.Do the right thing
• 61.Be respectful of the feelings of others - develop empathy
• 62.Give your time and energy to the things that are important to you
• 63.Stretch & go outside your comfort zone - on regular basis for fantastic growth
• 64.Do everything you can to verify first before making any rash-wrong-quick judgments about others
• 65.Live your values
• 66.Be authentically yourself - all the time
• 67.Recognize and express your appreciation of others
• 68.Choose and pick only those battles that are worth engaging in
• 69.Practice asking tough & difficult questions
• 70.Go the extra mile - exceed your own expectations
• 71.Surround yourself with people who have qualities you admire
• 72.Know your priorities - Identify the most important things in your life so you can make them top priority.
• 73.Delegate & empower as much as possible
• 74.Share information - be transparent
• 75.Know your triggers - become mindful of what pushes your buttons and don't allow yourself to get carried away or lose your cool
• 76.Practice smiling and carrying yourself gracefully and confidently
• 77.Behave in a way that generates trust and builds confidence of others in you
• 78.Connect people - who will find each other valuable and helpful.
• 79.Be mindful and careful of your manners and etiquettes
• 80.Spend time from your busy schedule for the people important to you
• 81.Acknowledge what you don't know
• 82.Don't try to be all things to all people
• 83.Develop a sense of humor
• 84.Focus on quality - always
• 85.Consistently expand your network - Work on creating an inner circle of people that you resonate with and learn from.
• 86.Stop being a martyr
• 87.Don't do anything that does not feel good or sound good; remember, respect is earned by authenticity.
• 88.Keep the naysayers in your life away from your dreams- exclude negative people from your life completely.
• 89.Count your blessings
• 90.Celebrate accomplishments and be grateful for all that you have.
• 91.Listen to all but make your own decisions
• 92.Deal with bullies appropriately
• 93.Finally stop chasing to be popular