Communications for leaders

How To Create Brilliant Leadership Sharpness Thru Communication Astuteness

​Whether You Are A Parent, Have A Spouse/Girl-Friend, Are A Boss, A Business Head, Working Or Appearing For Job/Academic Interviews & Want To Have Great Relationship With All Important People

+ Negotiate Effectively In All Of Professional, Business, Social & Personal Life

+ Or You Are Selling => You Have To Be An Acknowledged Leader – A Cut Above The Rest, To Create An Meaningful Impact.

Here I Am Referring To Being Acknowledged Leader Informally – By Others Because Of Their Sophisticated Leadership Qualities - Of Which Having An Edge In How You Communicate – Both Verbally & Non-Verbally – Is One Of The Most Important.

When You Are Considered Having Enviable Communication Talents - What You Say & What You Don't Say Both Matters. How You Say Becomes Your Unique Style.

This Communication Intelligence Or Conversational Sharpness Or Brilliance Can Be Developed & Refined To Put You In A Class Of Your Own.

Some Of Us Have Following Predominant Communication Style – Which Falls Under

1.Speech – It Can Fall Into

A.Who Love Their Voice & Believe That Others Want To Hear Them

B.Non-Solicited Advisers

C.Self-Assuming Experts

2.Monologue – There Are Sub Categories In This

A.People Who Just Speak – Whether Anybody Is Listening Or Not

B.People Who Always Speak Almost Exactly Same Way & The Same Topics

3.Some People Just Lack The Ability To Become Part Of Any Conversation Be It Office/Home – They Maybe There – But What You Can Get From Them Is Nod Or Something Similar. Non-Participative

4.Interview/Interrogation – They Always Ask Questions, Seldom Sharing Themselves

5.Peripheral Talk Or Discussion – They Talk Weather, Maybe Gossip

6.Narcissist Way Of Talking – Self Obsessed & Self Absorbed

7.Debate/Argumentative – These Are The People Who Would Provoke & Instigate People Into Having A Verbal Duet By Introducing Controversial And Sensitive Topics

8.Conversation That Is Focused On Objectives - They Talk Shop, Point To Point. Giving Direction/Asking You To Do Something

9.Meaningful Engaging Conversation – These Are The Charmers, Whether They Are With 1 Person Or 1000

Conversation Is Supposed To Be Fun & It's Supposed To Feel Natural And Flowing, Where The Right Thing To Say Comes Effortlessly

Conversation Is An Opportunity To Meet Someone New, Bond Over Shared Interests – Feel The Spark Of Connection.

It's Supposed To Be Anxiety Free, Where You Can Focus On Connecting With The Other Person Instead Of Worrying About How You're Coming Across.

Unfortunately, For Many People, Conversation Isn't Much Fun.

First Ask Yourself – What All Are True For You [It Could Be More Than One]

a)You Feel Anxious In Conversing

b)You Feel Unable To Express Your Feelings

c)Conversations Are Fun For You

d)You Are Only Able To Open Up In Certain Situation/Limited People/Particular Groups

e)When You Are In A Conversation – Many Time They Just Stop

f)You Want More Meaningful Connections With Others, But You're Not Sure How To Take Your Conversations Beyond Small Talk And Into That Deeper Level

g)Small Talk Is Difficult With You

h)You Can Talk Business But On A Personal, Family, Marital Level – You Just Cannot Make Lighter/Intimate Conversations

i)Maybe You Feel Tongue Tied In Strange Situations & With Strangers

j)You Enjoy Conversation

k)You Are The Heart Of Parties & Talks & Conversation

Our Unconscious/Unseen Enemy Of Conversation

#1 Our Assumption That Others See What We See, Feel What We Feel, And Think What We Think.

#2 The Our Failure To Realize Our Fear, Trust, And Distrust Changes How We See And Interpret Reality, And Therefore How We Talk About It.

#3 Our Inability To Think From Other's Shoes When We Are FearfulOr Upset.

#4 Our Assumption That We Remember What Others Said Exactly When In Reality We Only Remember What We Presume What They Said

#5 Our Belief That Meaning Is Given By The Speaker, Whereas It Made By The Filter Of Listener.

#6 We Listen To Judge Or Answer – Not To Connect, Clarify, Understand

#7 Thinking That You Are The Center Of Attention

#8 Insensitivity To Others

#9 Entrenchment In Your Own Point Of View

There Are Some Basic Traits That You Have To Perfect By Reading, Watching, Observing & Practicing

1.Developing Courage

a)To Initiate Conversation

b)To Tackle Difficult Topics/Situations/Conversations/People

c)To Ask Tough Questions From Powerful People

d)To Openly Accept – If You Do Not Know

e)To Be Able To Accept Mistake & Apologize – If You Are Wrong

f)To Admire & Appreciate Genuinely – People Who Are Better

2.Inculcating The Habits & Thought Process Of

a)To Laugh At Yourself Openly

b)Develop Conviction In Yourself – Through Clarifying Values & What You Stand For

c)To Recognize That There Could Be Situations Where Multiple Contradicting Views Could All Be Correct

d)To Empathize Others Perspective – Even Though Yours May Be Is Different

e) To Change The Topic In An Interesting & In An Non-Interfering & Non-Threatening Way

f)To Focus On Making Meaningful Positive Differences In Everyone's Life

3.Learning, Developing & Mastering The Art Of Asking Following Types Of Questions

a)Asking Questions To Show That You Were Engaged With The Speakers Fully

b)Asking Questions To Seek Clarity For Self

c)Asking Questions To Show That You Care

d)Asking Questions That Establish You As An Expert

e)Asking Questions To Make People Introspect, Go Deeper

f)Asking Questions To Make Other People See Your Perspective

g)Asking Questions To Deepen The Learning

h)Asking Questions To Create Curiosity

i)Asking Provoking Questions To Stimulate Mind

j)Asking Questions – Which Opens Up New Channels Of Thoughts

k)Asking Questions Which Opens Up New Possibilities

l)Asking Question For Making Others Find Their Answers

Tips To Make Your Conversation – Meaningful & Enriching For Others As Well As You

A.Self-Development

1.Learn, Learn, Learn – Different & Opposite Perspectives By Reading On Same Topics

2.Keep Yourself Aware About What Is Happening In The World Around You

3.Form Your Opinion Based On Your Values – On Social Issues/Challenges/Problems Facing The World/Your Country/Group

4.Read, Read, Read Fiction, Non-Fiction, Literature, Hobbies, Self Help Books, Different News-Paper Editorials

5.Try To Be In The Company Of People – Who Know More Than You

6.Form A Mindset Of Curiosity About Human Nature, The Nature

7.Assume That Your Knowledge Needs Constant Addition, Deletion, Unlearning & Relearning

8.Never Ever Get Into Thinking You Are An Expert

9.Always Get Into Challenging Yours & Expert's Assumptions

10.Watch, Watch, Watch Experts On TED ,You Tube & World's Masters

B.Tips While Speaking

1. Slow Down – Speak With Measured Words
2. When You Make A Powerful Point – Pause – Use The Power Of Silence
3. Do Not Read From Your Script – It Is Ok To Be Non-Structured
4. Learn To Prepare An Structure & Then Discard It & Talk From The Heart
5. Create Few Favorite Topics That You Have Read & Have Quite Different & Interesting Views
6. Share Stories Of Your Life Experiences – The Failure Which Taught You Valuable Lessons
7. Learn To Introduce Humor – Without Yourself Laughing
8. Learn To Use Emotional True Stories From The People You Know – Which Touches People & Make Them Sentimental
9. Always Focus Your Talk On Making It Real Value Addition For Your Audience
10. Involve & Engage Invite Participation From Your Audience By Asking Questions & Find Out Their Expectations – Then Matching
11. Ensure That Even Though You Promote Your Ideas – Tell The Conflicting View-Points & Why Did You Choose Yours
12. Make Sure All Discussions Add Value To The Overall Goal
13. Don't Preach Ask Group's Opinion On What They Need, Agree And Disagree On
14. Always Balance Time Between Speaking Own Ideas And Keep Time For Questions By Audience

C.Manage Body Language

1. Make Eye Contact – Even If It Is A Large Auditorium – Move Your Head Pocket Wise In All Directions
2. Choose The Words That You Are Comfortable With
3. Speak In A Loud & Clear Voice
4. Learn To Listen To Yourself & Like It
5. Movement Can Be There – But It Should Show Honesty, Transparence & Sincerity
6. Maintain High Energy Level Of Yourself & If Possible Ensure That The Audiences Energy Level Is Also Higher
7. Wear A Comfortable The Dress, Not Blend But To Stand Out
8. Have Few Relevant Anecdote/Jokes Handy & A Smile On Your Face
9. Develop A Stimulating Style Of Conversing- Play Devil's Advocate

D. Tips For When We Listen Or Manage Conversation

1. While Listening Don't Get Too Excited About Your Next Thought Our Brain Can Think 600 Words A Minute/Speak In 150 Words – So We Tend To Start Thinking About What To Say Next.
2. Try To Genuinely Relate
3. Do Your Homework Without Being Creepy
4. Reach Out In Meaningful Ways - Ask How You Can Add Value,
5. Listen And Remember Key Points About Your Audience
6. Decrease Personal Barriers
7. Hold Back On Sharing How Awesome You Are
8. Recognize Other People.
9. Avoid Unnecessary Details.
10. If You Are The Listener - Don't Ask Another Question Before The First One Has Been Answered.
11. Do Not Interrupt Another While Someone Is Speaking.
12. Do Not Contradict Or Challenge Just To Satisfy Your Ego Or To Show That You Know
13. Don't Always Be The Hero Of Your Story
14. Choose A Subject Of Mutual Interest
15. Be A Good Listener.
16. Do Not Exaggerate.
17. Do Not Misquote.
18. Cultivate Tact - Do Not Be Untruthful, But Also Don't Feel The Need To Be Hurtful.
19. Candor Is Golden – Be Transparent
20. Understand How To Address Fears, Concerns, And Worries
21. Provide Context In Every Communication