Happiness is one of the ultimate subconscious needs that all of us may not focus totally on –but whatever we are doing –deep inside it is only because of our needing happiness.
We are born happy. Our nature is to be happy. Our core is to be happy.
When we are kids – we are normally happy with very small small things.
Even if we became upset we are able to comeback in our happiness state very fast as a kid. Our expectations are so small
But when we start growing up & our focus get directed to and distracted from the main purpose – and these distractions are not always happiness prone.
Happiness is an intelligence like emotional intelligence – which can be learned, practiced & polished.
What is exactly happiness – it can be any or many of the following or other additional emotional & mental states of yours in a given situation/circumstances
- 1.When you feel empowered, positive, confident
- 2.When you are only thinking about one particular person, one specific result/outcome/situation
- 3.When you feel contended, blissful
- 4.When you are in playful & cheerful mood
- 5.When you are enthusiastic
- 6.When you are full of hopeful energy
- 7.When you have the belief of can do whatever you are planning to do
- 8.When you are totally in present
- 9.When you feel love flowing out of you
Basically – it has nothing to do with outside world & what is happening - But to your inner responses, connections & perceptions of that moment.
Being happy for a short while is easy – like the famous quote I read in the Reader's digest many years back "If you want to be happy for an hour feast, if you want to be happy for a day get married & if you want to be happy for life become a gardener".
This quote is actually very profound – as it talks about planting seeds, nurturing life – the fruits you may not be able to enjoy in your life time – but surely to watch them grow & add value to others will make you happy – in case you take this quote literally.
But if you go for deeper meaning – you would realize that – unconditional giving & being engaged in meaningful, worthwhile pursuits only can lead to your having a happy nature.
You can be happy short time when someone pays a compliments, gives you a chocolate.
Here we are talking about getting in touch with your core.
Here we are talking about long term happiness – how can we train ourselves to focus on, bounce back to & be generally happy – irrespective of whatever turmoil taking place in your life.
But because happiness is a dynamic thing – you can be only happy when you act - even in the following seemingly negative things or situations – and if you can train yourself by practice to think and respond in the following manner – your happiness would have no limit
- 1.From Failures – when you treat them as your teacher & bounce back from them with a newer way & better alternative or option
- 2.From your fears – when you take on the things that you are scared of most by the horn & learn that this fear was mostly in your head
- 3.From failed relationships/Break-downs – when you are able to accept the damage it is causing & move away towards a brighter future
- 4.From your major mistakes – by being thorough in re-planning in the mutually exclusive & collectively exhaustive ways – to ensure that you do not repeat
- 5.From your embarrassing situations – by learning how you can let go of the thinking – what would others say
- 6.By failing to achieve your major dreams – by redefining the dream as per the reality and as per your strength
- 7.From a major loss because of your angry impulsive reaction – by learning to respond effectively in future
- 8.From death of loved ones – through going through the grief cycle to learn how to move on while retaining good memories of these people
- 9.From your sadness – learn to look at the people who are worse than you
- 10.From your negative mindset – by becoming a realist by making it a strength via training yourself to challenge all your, others & expert's - assumptions, perceptions & solutions
- 11.From abusive/emotionally draining relationships – when you learn to walk away & identify all the toxic people and get them out of their life.
- 12.When people put you/insult you – by learning to create humor out of that through your wittiness
The following tips which needs to be mastered through continuous practice– all great people practice these – as action is of paramount importance in the art of being happy
- 1.Only focus on your area of influence & do whatever is within your control – stop focusing on what is your area of concern or outside your current area of influence
- 2.Train yourself to take action – rather than sitting & brooding[which would actually make it worse for you and may prevent you from taking the right action/decision]
- 3.Develop the habit of letting go of mistakes, guilt, shames, failures
- 4.However badly you want someone – if that person drains you/makes you feel bad about yourself/creates stress in you – walk away
- 5.Keep company of people who motivate you, make you feel great about yourself
- 6.If Your nature is to help others – definitely help others but do not expect anything from others
- 7.Stop expecting from others anything
- 8.Stop bothering about what others may say or think about you
- 9.Take failures or mistakes as your teachers and not as punishment
- 10.Learn to move on, bounce back from set-backs – by getting back to your normal routine
- 11.None of us can go back & change our past – so do not focus on it – except for happy memories
- 12.Learn to say no to people, situation & impulses and stop feeling bad about it
- 13.Learn to be assertive to protect your rights & do not encroach on others rights
- 14.Learn to feel the pain, loss, sadness, grief – stop fighting, start accepting it
- 15.Stop expecting admiration, appreciation & gratefulness from anyone
- 16.Study the great people & study their lifestyles – you will find it is very simple. You too can adopt the same
- 17.Stop the urge to show-off – no one bothers about how successful or how knowledgeable or how powerful you are
- 18.Sort out & focus on your priorities – Happiness is one of them
- 19.Learn to live in the present – by practicing the right type of meditation you can get into it within few months
- 20.You cannot avoid bad time, tough time , bad people – so develop your strategy & personalities to handle them more effectively
- 21.Many of our happiness comes from our perception & beliefs – learn the NLP reframing techniques to change them to make you happy
- 22.In grief look at the people who are worse than you – start helping/volunteering
- 23.Do not be jealous of anybody's good fortune – rather learn to be happy for their success, accomplishments & happiness
- 24.Do not compete or compare with anyone – only try to make yourself better today than you were yesterday – by continuously re-inventing and making yourself obsolete
Your happiness can happen only when you have the following broad states [this is in addition & for further clarification on whatever is given above]
- 1.Having Fun
- 2.Having Dreams
- 3.Challenging & Stretching Yourself
- 4.Recognizing & celebrating all your small small achievements
- 5.When you are learning in the area of your interest
- 6.You have love flowing out of you – instead of hate, doubt, fear, guilt, shame, anger etc etc
- 7.You are healthy & fit emotionally, mentally, physically
- 8.You have intimate relationships with your family
- 9.You are having a socially fulfilling engagement
- 10.You have passions & you are engaged in pursuing them
- 11.You have values & you stand up for them
- 12.You give your best & focus on excellence
According to a recent Gallop study, only 13 per cent of the world's employees are happy and engaged at work. Unhappy employees are always less productive – and then they & create unhappiness at home & socially.
Some simple tips to make you start right way
3.Learn to mediate till you reach thoughtlessness or being in the present
4.Do random acts of kindness
5.Help the helpless
6.Make others grow
7.Make others feel bigger that they are
8.Travel, Take vacation, take Break
9.Do something interesting
10.Learning new hobby that stimulates you like dancing, playing musical instruments etc
11.Go for adventure trips
12.Smile at strangers
13.Let go of feeling to look smart – try to appear dumb
14.Spend Time With Happy People
15.Don't Go Looking for Happiness
"Happiness is like a cat, if you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay no attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap."
–William J. Bennett, American politician
16.Show your love to someone you care in many different ways
17.Forgive people who have hurt you
19.Learn to appreciate other's qualities, success & happiness
20.Have intimate conversation with people you love
21.Go spend time with nature
22.Don't complain but take action
23.Tell your loved ones what you want from them – do not expect them to read your mind
25.Expect the unexpected – welcome change & identify why it would be better
26.Learn to laugh at your trouble
27.Abuse God[He/She can take it] – when you are feeling angry at things going bad to worse to vent it