In this article you will learn the following
-23 reasons why you may feel lonely
-4 Types of loneliness
-66 tips on how to be alone without being lonely - things to do when you are alone and feeling lonely
Being alone is alright but feeling lonely sucks.
Feeling lonely sucks-out all your zest, zeal, hopes, happiness, energy and will for life.
Loneliness can lead to feelings of anxiety, despair and depression.
Social-loneliness happens - when we do not have a confidante or close-person with whom you can share your deepest desires, aspirations, fears and anxieties.
Social-loneliness can also be felt when you are unable to get support from your peers, colleagues, family and friends.
Emotional-loneliness happens because of lack of intimacy in close relationships with your parents, children or your romantic partner.
Intellectual-loneliness happens - when the group of people you have to spend time with - have very different levels of understanding, knowledge and interests as well as background.
Then there is loneliness - when you are living a directionless and goalless and aimless life.
You can feel utterly lonely - even when surrounded by people and in positive-festive occasions.
Feeling-lonely is threatening and very harmful to the wellbeing, safety and emotional-balance and security of people suffering from it.
APA recognizes prolonged-loneliness - as something which requires immediate attention and treatment.
This article is about how to be alone - without feeling lonely.
Most people have the needs of being included, being-loved and belongingness and to have close relationship with few people.
But solitude - that is having a quality time with your own self is as important.
Solitude creates opportunities for self-discovery, self-reflection, mindfulness, emotional awareness and connecting with your own self - for greater self-confidence, self-pride and self-respect.
People who enjoy spending time by themselves continue to maintain positive social relationships that they can return to when they crave connection.
Whereas loneliness is filled with the feelings of isolation, separation, rejection, or abandonment by other people.
That is why in best relationships have to have a balance between spending-time together and giving space to each other.
23 reasons why you may feel lonely
- 1.You are a person who must spend few hours every day with your friends and loved ones - then you would certainly feel lonely if these interactions are only couple of times a week
- 2.You are self-time-spend person [or a loner] - who likes to spend time with himself/herself - then for you even once a week social interactions may feel adequate
- 3.Because your children have moved out and you feel terrible being-in and returning-to an empty house
- 4.You don't have strong bonding with your partner or siblings or parents or anyone you are living with- you might feel lonely even when you are with these people
- 5.May be you are into prolonged internal-grieving - then even when celebrations are going on in your place - you may feel cut-off and lonely
- 6.Sometimes when you are going against the tide or taking a path not travelled or standing-up for something that you believe-in - you may experience what I call Ukraine-syndrome - where people will watch from the periphery and will not help you or even offer their moral-support - if you are facing this type of situation - then it is perfectly alright - as this situation is faced by almost all the greatest leaders, change-makers, path-breakers, trendsetters and positive-disrupters.
- 7.You are being ridiculed and laughed at when you attempt larger than life goals - which can trigger the feelings of all-alone
- 8.You are at the top of professional pyramid - and even if you are stuck you have to fight it all by yourself
- 9.In all these situations you have to walk-alone - with only your own convictions, your self-belief and your resolve.
- 10.You are dis-connected with your most near and dear ones - too can trigger the feelings of loneliness.
- 11.You are feeling nostalgic for previous-times after a disruptive-change and are longing for same types of social interactions and people as you used to have - this reason too will give rise to and compound your loneliness
- 12.When you feel unwanted and unneeded
- 13.When you feel unworthy of other's affections, love and support
- 14.One of the reasons - everyday loneliness happens when you have made yourself isolated and your intrinsic needs of healthy social interaction and connecting with other human-being are not getting met
- 15.But all these aforementioned situations are temporary - and pass soon
- 16.Then there is what is known as prolonged-loneliness - this can exhaust you emotionally, mentally and physically and can prompt physical symptoms like unexplained aches and pains, sleep-issues and may weaken your immune system feeling distant from friends
- 17.Being single
- 18.Not fitting in as you have you have different interests
- 19.Being the primary care-giver for someone close to you who is sick or has a disability can often make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders
- 20.Feeling unwanted in toxic relationships
- 21.Feeling unwanted because of anxiety
- 22.Feeling unwanted in family & friend relationships
- 23.Feeling unwanted in romantic relationships
Some people are naturally happy alone - but for the people who need bonding and connecting with people to feel good - there are ways to become more comfortable with being alone - even if you are an extreme extrovert.
There are ways to combat loneliness even when you are alone.
66 tips on how to be alone without being lonely - things to do when you are alone and feeling lonely - given randomly and for all 1 sentence advice there is a detailed do-it-yourself blog among my 900+ articles on my both websites
- 1.Accept this - that you are not alone in your loneliness - feeling lonely from time to time is natural and not uncommon
- 2.Identify your type of loneliness - whether it is social-loneliness, intellectual-loneliness or emotional-loneliness or effects of having goal-less life - this will help you find the right set of antidote
- 3.Realize that loneliness is a feeling - loneliness for an extrovert and loneliness for an introvert are two very different things
- 4.Identify your social-interaction needs - everyone has different interaction needs - and whether they are being met or not sufficiently and regularly
- 5.Acknowledge any feelings or signs of loneliness - such as a sense of emptiness, excessive feelings of melancholy
- 6.Learning to love yourself and enjoying your time alone - is something can be learned by practice - especially if you are an extrovert and are forced to be alone and thus feeling lonely
- 7. Fill your house with soothing and happy music - but avoid listening to sad songs at any cost
- 8.Read engaging suspense-thriller or classic ghost-stories or any book that immerses you within
- 9.Watch comedy-serials which makes you feel emotionally lighter - like tom-jerry that gels with you
- 10.Avoid watching news-channels
- 11.Sit in the balcony and watch the traffic
- 12.Stay connected - instead of texting talk through video and audio - hearing a loved one's voice for even 5-minutes help bring down your feelings of loneliness — for you and may be for them - as it is not always possible to spend time with family, friends and loved ones by physically present with them
- 13.Explore and look for new meaningful-connections - through face to face book clubs, theatre and music and art tours and gatherings which creates opportunities for meeting new people.
- 14. Make the most of your interactions - try to spend time doing activities with your closest friend
- 15.Avoid being in a large group of casual acquaintances - where nothing more than gossip happens - as this can make you feel lonely if you don't enjoy meaningless chatter
- 16.Make your interactions more meaningful by sharing personal experiences - ask questions, listen and share
- 17.Talk about things that matter to you most — work, creative projects, mutual interests
- 18.Have conversations around things that bring you both joy rather than dwelling entirely on distressing news.
- 19. Get out side work in your favorite café
- 20.Write about your life experiences of all type and share these through podcast, YouTube and blog sites
- 21.Enjoy brunch with friends
- 22.Get online and play a game
- 23.Spend time in nature - go with a focus -like say bird-watching, enjoying the quiet or listening to the wind playing music flowing through trees
- 24.Loneliness can affect the quality of your sleep - so learn to tire-yourself meaningfully - by cycling or having a mini-trek - for fitful sleep
- 25. Find channels or people to express what you feel - talk about your feelings
- 26. Bring out your creative side - like writing, cooking, drawing or any artistic pursuits
- 27.Consider a pet - although having a pet can restrict many of your activities as downside
- 28. Take a break from social media
- 29. Find and do something you love
- 30. Reach out for help and if need be seek professional help
- 31.Learn skills to manage distress in the moment - explore strategies to prevent loneliness in the future
- 32. Attend virtual social gatherings
- 33. Volunteer virtually
- 34.Avoid comparing yourself to others
- 35.Day-dream freely - schedule time to let your mind wander
- 36.Get physical exercise on a daily basis
- 37.Have a dance party all by yourself if you can't get others to join you - dance like no one's watching - no body is
- 38.Cook and serve yourself a meal that you relish
- 39.Make plans for solo outings
- 40.Use technology wisely - without becoming its slave
- 41.Learn something new that adds value to you
- 43.Identify and indulge in your favorite pastime
- 44.Get comfortable being uncomfortable
- 45.Acknowledge that you feel lonely
- 46.Develop a plan -sometimes you need to solve a problem - and in other situation -you need to solve how you feel about the problem
- 47.Connect with people from your past - just call them up
- 48.Join a group or club and an online forum or form your own
- 49.Learn to be a great observer - this will make you skilled in understanding people better
- 50.Understand you are good enough - talk and listen to yourself
- 51.Stay busy meaningfully
- 52.Learn to cherish and enjoy the quiet
- 53.Write down positive memories
- 54.Make a schedule for yourself and stick to it
- 55.Turn your loneliness into solitude
- 56.Strengthen a current relationship
- 57.Stop your negative thought cycles - to put an end to these negative thought cycles, we need to take action—do something different that stops these thoughts and changes our experience of the world.
- 58.Spend money on experiences - stop spending on things for momentary pleasure
- 59.Nurture your network - sometimes you can end up feeling alone even though you know many people
- 60.Be your own best friend - feeling unwanted should never define you
- 61.Switch routes to have a change of scenery when you go out to walk every day
- 62.Go spend time with nature at different times of the day so you can enjoy sunrises, sunsets, and mid-afternoons if possible
- 63.Become curious - learn to ask interesting questions
- 64.Slow down - take your time - savoring taste or doing work with focus on excellence while enjoying the process
- 65.Create something - rebuild - repair
- 66.Reframe your negative thoughts although it can be an incredibly challenging task - stop thinking in terms of black and white
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