Effective Emotional Regulation Techniques
In this article you will learn
-54 Tips How to develop Healthy emotional Regulation Skills -the ability to see and think from the perspective of possibilities, options and alternatives - learning healthy cognitive-reappraisal techniques
-9 Signs of People who suffer from emotional regulation disorder
How to make your brain interpret - events happening in your life in more empowering and resourceful ways -learn effective emotional regulation.
Most of us face numerous internal as well as external stimuli every day - which triggers uncomfortable and negative emotional feelings.
People who have robust emotional-regulation tools, habits and practices - rarely get into depression and have lower levels of anxiety - they also have very high levels of social-emotional intelligence.
People with greater self-control and better self-regulation - will have a better judgment and will have a healthy balance in their feelings and are able to choose most emotionally uplifting ways during their phase of crisis.
Anyone with poor emotional-regulation strategies - would have mood-swings and polarities.
The worst impact of having poor emotional-regulation skills happens on their actions and behavioral patterns - then you will always be at the mercy of your emotions, which are not in your control anyway.
The difference between self-control and self-regulation is - self-control is an important element of self-regulation- self-control tries to control your impulses, urges of hitting-back and self-harming thoughts whereas self-regulation reduces the frequency and intensity of strong impulses by managing stress-load and helps in bouncing-back and recovering from setbacks.
Sometimes people may face self-regulatory depletion - this happens when you have been using your willpower to control your emotional-turbulences indiscriminately and for long - this leads to poor decision-making and going for unhealthy choices.
If you have reached this state of emotional-exhaustion - you need to take few urgent actions to rejuvenate your self-control your self-regulatory mechanism and your willpower - read my blog on when willpower does not work.
Effective emotional regulation facilitates the ways your brains interpret events, situations and circumstances and changes happening in your life.
If you can retrain your brain to respond to events with more flexibility and have better objective and balanced thoughts - quality of your life would become blissful, fulfilling and contended.
Emotional regulations also is referred to as - cognitive appraisal and reappraisal.
In cognitive-appraisals are interpretations happens based on what type of catastrophic permanence or ignorance you attach to a major disruptive change in your life - this normally happens automatically but with determination and practice you can make this highly empowering and enabling strength.
Depending on what your subconscious is focusing-on - you get appropriate chemical, mental, emotional and physical reactions within your body - irrespective of whether your subconscious' s perception is real.
In some situations your subconscious' s perception are very useful - when your subconscious responds to threats and emergencies with efficiency and quickness.
When your subconscious' s automatic interpretations are disempowering leading to an un-resourceful emotional, mental and physical states - then this becomes a serious and self-threatening issue.
This negative interpretation can happen - either because your psych has been programed to register negative stimuli more readily than positive or you have developed the habits of overthinking and overanalyzing.
This types of negative interpretation will invariably lead to creation of mind-binders within you - where your thought-patterns and thinking-styles- starts feeding and nurturing emotional-insecurities, anxiety and even depression.
To counter these debilitating habits - we need to learn cognitive-reappraisal techniques - which makes you look for multiple interpretations from different angles and perspectives and help you choose the most conducive meaning.
54 Tips How to develop Healthy emotional Regulation Skills -the ability to see and think from the perspective of possibilities, options and alternatives - learning healthy cognitive-reappraisal techniques
- 1.Create a chart with 6 columns - what you are feeling right now - which situation or person caused it - what negative emotions you had - how did you react - what was the consequence - how you can respond in future in empowering ways
- 2.As a post event reflection use this technique - describe or note down a stressful situation you encountered - How did the situation progress - did your behavior lead to the situation - what self-control did you have on yourself during that situation - did your reaction affect others around you THEN IN FUTURE - How would you react to similar stressful circumstances in the future
- 3.Ask yourself - How did you interpret the situation - How intense were your emotions during and after the situation - did your emotion influence other's actions - how your own emotions influenced your actions and your judgment
- 4.How can you ensure that your physical health conditions do not affect your emotional wellbeing
- 5.Ask yourself how you express your vulnerabilities without hurting yourself or others
- 6.Learn to deal with the temptations, impulsive urges in healthy manner - read my blog
- 7.Develop the habit of pro-active - what is the worst that can happen and how many ways things can go wrong then creating antidotes, solutions and options to cope - should they happen
- 8.Understand the situation that you are in
- 9.Identify what actions, habits and behaviors are empowering and which are creating issues for you
- 10.Create your own peace sanctorum - it could be a physical place within your house or in nature - which gives you a sense of inner-calm and where you can sit peacefully without distractions
- 11.Have Me-time - where you mediate and self-reflect
- 12.Identify which of the issues you are magnifying - which are giving you the feelings of powerlessness, helplessness and victimhood
- 13.Become aware of your habits of overthinking and over analyzing - read my two blogs on how to overcome these two highly negative habits of mind
- 14.Identify your thinking-traps - use STOP technique [say STOP loudly when you find your mind going towards negative thoughts] - which you can even use in stopping your obsessive compulsive thinking and acting patterns
- 15.Never try to suppress or ignore your emotions and feelings - instead become aware-of and learn to deal with them effectively
- 16.Challenge your interpretation - using factual evidence and by taking the counsel of other - wise-people who are your well-wishers
- 17.Challenge yourself to consider other better possibilities and options - look for better solutions within your area of control
- 18.Use reframing-techniques of NLP - to see in how many multiple diverse ways - your situation can be interpreted and how it can be turned into positive
- 19.Identify the result and outcome that you desire in your life
- 20.Identify the minimum levels of results that is realistic under the - law of what is possible and within your area of control
- 21.Create a plan of action - by working backwards from the end results - by breaking large goals into small-small every day actions
- 22.Read my blogs on how to deal with - frustrations, anger, depression, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, embarrassments, regret, grief, sadness
- 23.Learn and practice proper relaxing techniques that suits your temperament and personality - like different types of meditations, breathing-techniques and muscle-relaxing techniques
- 24.Pay attention to your sleep - develop better sleep habits
- 25.Exercise regularly - if not possible walk inside the room
- 26.Improve your perspectives - understand that feelings and emotions will come from different internal as well as external triggers - on which you might not have any control but make yourself think how you can respond to these in healthy manner
- 27.Understand that all your negative emotions are indications of - you needing to make urgent changes in your lifestyle, habits, behaviors, thought-patterns - read my blogs on these
- 28.View failures and mistakes - as part of your growth-process and success-steps
- 29.Develop a mindset to view challenges as opportunities - and discipline yourself to keep exploring till you find the positive
- 30.Ask yourself - what skills you need to develop to deal with this situation better
- 31.Sharpen your self-awareness with mindful awareness - that is becoming of each feeling that is controlling your mind 'right now.'
- 32.Use self-soothing and self-calming techniques that work for you like - music-meditation, aroma-therapy, reminiscence therapy positive-memory-revisiting
- 33.Identify model behavior - in many situations where you lose self-control
- 34.Learn and practice to delay responding to any situation
- 35.Using past identify which of your impulsive actions had bad consequences
- 36.Learn and practice stress management techniques
- 37.Take help of experts - for CBT cognitive behavior therapy as well as DBT -dialectical behavior therapy and emotional regulation therapy (ERT) plus MBCT or mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and
- 38.Learn and use EFT - emotional freedom techniques - for changing your feelings to more manageable levels
- 39.Learn to identify your negative and positive emotions and triggers
- 40.Identify desirable actions and implement them in real life situations
- 41.Use breath counting –breathing pattern change shifting –using slow breath to relax
- 42.Create quality me-time and a stable self-care regime.
- 43.Go for frequent vacations, trips with family and friends
- 44.Learn to express yourself - especially when the conversations are difficult or awkward
- 45.Become a good role model, practicing what you preach, creating trusting environments, and living in alignment with your values
- 46.Develop a mindset of pro-active acceptance of change
- 47.Develop self-discipline
- 48.Develop abilities to deal with boredom effectively
- 49.Develop abilities to turn your negative emotions into constructive growth and productivity
- 50.Developing sense of humor and making others laugh
- 51.Feel alright asking for help - when you are not able to deal with something important yourself
- 52.Nurture and maintain a support group
- 53.At time doing the opposite of what you feel like doing - can give you an effective techniques to come out of negative emotional state
- 54.Learn to deal with failures, rejections, irritations, criticism
9 Signs of People who suffer from emotional regulation disorder
- I.Sudden and unexplained anger outbursts that at times gets directed at person who did not play any role in making their mood bad
- II.Passive-aggressive thinking and behavior - showing outward smile but internally seething and planning revenge and cursing
- III.Chronic pain and illness without any physical-medical condition
- IV.Self-destruction or self-harming behavior including suicidal thoughts
- V.Difficulty in building and maintaining healthy social relationships in personal and professional fields
- VI.Inability to focus on meaningful work
- VII.Mind remains occupied with negative thoughts and emotions AND thoughts about what others said and did
- VIII.Hypersensitivity to anything others did - most of it could be wrong perception and interpretation based on their own emotional insecurities
- IX.Poor self-control with few difficult people and in some situations
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